Loving The Alpha I Once Bullied

05 - Pride and Fear

Seeing the two youngsters enter a lethal staring contest, Ingrid decided that it was time she left.

“I’ll be taking my leave now,” she said, but Ashton and Ciara were too immersed in themselves to notice and respond.

“Are you kidding me right now, Ciara?” Ashton said. Though his voice was calm, the veins by the sides of his head were throbbing and his fists were balled tight.

“Why do you care so much about my curse? It’s up to me whether I live or die. I choose the latter.” Ciara said coldly, her eyes were the shade of icy blue.

“This is a matter of pride and fear, isn’t it?” Ashton’s nose flared.

Ciara subconsciously trembled.

“I thought you had changed, but you still wear your pride and ego like armor. You’re afraid to own up to your past and mend things with Ele—”

“Don’t-” Don’t say her name, please.

Ciara didn’t dare complete her sentence.

“Don’t what? Talk about the sister you betrayed and abandoned?” Ashton pressed, hitting the nail on the head.

Ciara heard a shattering sound. It was the sound of the wall she had built around her heart. Ashton was breaking it down with his cruel words.

“You think you can keep running forever? You told me you were drifting these past few years, but I don’t believe you. The truth must be that you were hiding. Hiding away from your past.” Ashton continued mercilessly.

Ciara clutched her chest and asked with a shaky voice, “Why are you being so cruel to me?”

“I’m not being cruel,” Ashton said. “Sooner or later, you have to face your past. You have to face Elena. You know that, don’t you?”

But how could she? What words could be spoken as an apology to the sister whom she had bullied persistently and left to die in the hands of a psychopath?

How could Ciara face the one person who did her no wrong, yet was persecuted by her for merely existing?

“I know you think that nothing can be done at this point, but you’re wrong,” Ashton reverted to his gentle approach, caressing Ciara’s cheek softly. “Elena and Jake aren’t bad people, you know that, right?”

Yes, Elena and Jake weren’t bad people. Ciara was the bad person.

“I won’t be able to face them. You know I won’t. I did so many bad things to them. So many horrible things that you don’t even know about.” Ciara whispered, tears gathering in her eyes.

Ciara was the artist who painted all the problems in her sister’s life. The painting had already dried years ago. How could she erase dried art?

“I’ll be with you all the way. I’ll be your support. We’ll get through this together. I promise you.” Ashton said.

The warmth his palm brought to her cheek was so reassuring. Ciara wanted to stay in that moment forever—Ashton holding her, promising to support her, looking at her with a gaze that said he would do anything for her.

What more in the world could she want?

***

“There are so many people here…” Ashton said as he went through the list of people who Ciara had offended in the past.

Ciara had been compiling the list for the past four hours. There were more than a hundred people on the list. Next to their names were the things she had done to them.

As Ashton analysed the list, he couldn’t help but glance at Ciara from time to time, wondering how this small and beautiful creature could have done such despicable things to so many people.

Her crimes spanned from burning the house of a person who ripped a corner of her dress to ruining the image of someone who indirectly insulted her.

There was even a case of inducing claustrophobia by trapping someone in a basement for three days before letting them out.

“Ciara…” Ashton said, looking at her strangely.

“I was young…” Ciara excused weakly. “And stupid.”

Ashton wanted to say that she was not the only one who had once been young and stupid, but she was the only one who had committed so many terrible deeds while at it.

“Anyway, there are some people here who seem to be from this pack. We can start with them before we move to people from other packs.” Ashton said, planting the list on a table and settling next to Ciara on the couch.

Though there was plenty of space on the cushion, Ashton sat directly next to her, leaving no gap between the two of them. Ciara wanted to shrink into herself due to the lack of space.

“Why don’t we start with Janice Calore? Her house is close by.” As Ashton said these words, he had managed to inch closer to Ciara and close the nonexistent space that was between them before.

Ciara hadn’t heard a word that came out of Ashton’s mouth. She was too distracted by the invisible distance between them.

‘He’s too close. Why is he so close?’ She thought.

Looking at her face that had almost healed completely, Ashton spotted a trace of the past Ciara. One whose vulnerability would surface when met with an enigma like him.

He found it hard to restrain himself from sliding his hand through her silky blonde hair and kissing her senseless.

But with the state she was in, Ashton expected that she would let him kiss her, cementing her belief that he bought her for pleasure. The old Ciara would push him away if he tried to kiss her and pretend she wasn’t fazed by his actions while secretly enjoying it.

He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. But she wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Come on,” Ashton said, then planted a chaste kiss on her lips before standing up from the couch and picking up the list once again.

Ciara: “...”

Her eyes, which were naturally almond in shape, became round as she stared at Ashton’s figure with surprise.

Ashton, knowing that he had astonished Ciara , smiled to himself. This was not the first time he had committed such an act. He knew Ciara very well; a simple kiss was enough to confuse her.

Old and new Ciara, they were both easy to trick.

All while Ciara’s mind had been running amok, trying to figure out why he had kissed her, Ashton had already loaded her into his car and began the drive to Janice’s house.

It was only after Ashton led her to the front door of the Calore house and rang the doorbell that Ciara realized that Ashton had kissed her to distract her from acting out.

Her mood turned sour immediately. Ashton was the only person in the world who could trick and confuse her.

A moment after that thought, the door opened to reveal a girl with straight black hair and enchanting green eyes.

“Ashton? I wasn’t expecting you. Wel-” Janice paused the second she noticed Ciara standing next to Ashton.

The bright expression on her face quickly contorted into a cold one.

“What is she doing here?”