The Essence of Eternity - Awaken

Chapter II - My Parents

My name is Titania; I was named after the Fairy Queen of the "Midsummer Night's Dream’. My mum really loves Shakespeare. She claims she decided on my name the very first moment she saw me, as even from birth I looked different. I do have red orange hair and green eyes but apart from that, there is nothing special or extraordinary about me. I am quite tall for a Greek girl, almost clumsy. I usually carry a couple more pounds than what I would like to, and I keep my curly hair really long, so it doesn’t frizz. My skin is white; so pale that it seems transparent some times. As a result it gets burned really quickly -very useful attribute when you live most of your life in a country that is sunny ninety nine percent of the time: Greece!

I am half Greek and half Irish; talk about a crazy combination! Greeks are funny, resourceful, loud, charming and always really late, while Irish are… well, I want to say like leprechauns but my dad would kill me.

My mum, the Greek, spent her University years in London, where she met my Irish dad and they fell madly in love. A couple of years later I opened my eyes for the very first time. When their love ended, I started spending some days in Greece and some days in Ireland, like a nomad. I like Greece and I really love Ireland but last year I decided I didn’t want to live in either; I wanted to go study somewhere else; somewhere new. I chose a University in Edinburgh. Edinburgh is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen. I cannot understand why Edinburgh is called the Athens of the North, as indeed it is way more beautiful than the Greek one, with all its chaos, traffic, smog and almost five million people. In Edinburgh, connection of the old and the new is unique with the Medieval Castles and the rare views of the whole city from the hills. This city reminded me of gothic poetry; it hides some kind of magic which I find most appealing. The population hardly reaches four hundred fifty thousand people and the weather is closer to my preference than the always sunny, really hot and steamy climate of Greece.

Growing up in-between Greece and Ireland, I learned to love both cultures and I consider myself very lucky to have absorbed the best of both worlds. Both countries have unique history and legends and I always enjoyed reading about them. But if you ask me to choose, my heart goes to the land of the sprites. Last year, as a tribute to the love I have for my dad’s country, I added two new tattoos on my body - a leprechaun sitting on a red mushroom under the rainbow and a four leaf clover for faith, hope, love and luck. I feel blessed having the parents I have, especially considering that the rest of my girlfriends had to hide or fight for the liberties I enjoy. There are times I feel that I am the conservative one in the family, imagine that!

My parents are a complicated issue. I love them both very much and since I am an only child I get back double the love I give. But this does not mean that living with them was ever easy; especially with my mum. I do love her, I do, but man she is annoying.

The rest of the world would describe her as likeable and very beautiful, even in her forties. She is a sweet talker and her looks win over everybody. She always gets her way. In her twenties, I must admit she was astonishing. She is a tall, thin brunette with black eyes and full lips. She still keeps her hair long and wavy and has a very beautiful melodic voice. She is really graceful and attractive.

Unfortunately, I am nothing like her in looks or character.

I have this memory of disagreeing with her all my life. I spent most of my childhood in Greece, and had to go through her second marriage and her second divorce. I don’t remember the first, but it is still there, hidden, frown upon. I had to endure all her lonely sad nights and desperations, her lack of good judgment when it comes to men, and the secret feelings she still has for my dad.

I know every mum is caring for her child but she was always worried that I would get hurt so much; it felt like she was smothering me. My mum Emily, or Em as everybody calls her, used to work a lot. When she met my dad she was studying to be a university lecturer but when she left him and came back to Greece, alone with a toddler, she decided that the best thing to do was to have a job that would allow her to keep me close twenty-four-seven. She decided to open a day care center for kids. I grew up there until I was ten. During my free time after school I either used to help my mum with the babies or do my homework in her office. At the age of ten my mum decided I was old enough to stay home alone after school and do my homework or whatever. This wasn’t much of a big thing, as our home was on the third floor of the same building with “HAPPY SMURFS”. It did however provided me with more alone time and I never complained. I never felt the need to be around many people. I enjoy solitude.

I never had many friends. At school I felt a bit detached and since I looked so different than the sun-kissed Greek kids I was picked on a lot about my hair and my ghost-like skin. It did not matter; I had many imaginary friends, I never needed real ones.

I could spend days without talking but this freaked my mum out, so growing up, I learned to remember to always reply or even come up with a few words from time to time to calm her from believing there was something wrong with me.

I very much enjoyed drawing and my mum encouraged it. I remember spending every last moment of my free time over a paper. My walls had no free space for any new drawings. Usually I could not recognize what I drew; the scenery, the buildings were all in my mind but I remember my mum looking at them with awe and pride. I think that was the only thing that ever made her proud of me; this and getting in the University.

*****

My dad, Breandan, owned an Irish pub, in the city limits of Galway; a town of hardly seventy five thousand people. When he was young he studied to be an architect; I guess this is where I got my good drawing hand. Then he met my mum and he fell in love. He devoted himself to her for a few years. It seems that when he lost his love for her, he also lost his love for architecture. He keeps saying that after the divorce, he did not feel like creating anything anymore; he was lacking the inspiration to do so. The only thing he did create was his pub! He used his old man’s garage and turned it into a beautiful small pub, mainly for town rock junkies and tourists. I am a big fan of this pub; it feels like second home to me. It is the most relaxing place in the world, irony?

I can sit in a corner listening to music all day and dreaming away; sometimes even reading my books or drawing for hours. I really love living with my dad. I can understand why my mum fell for him in the first place. He is really attractive; around six feet tall, with light brown hair and deep blue eyes, always with a three days beard and really fit. He exercises a lot, going hiking and running every day and generally he lives a really healthy life; well, if you consider beer good for your health! He has a wonderful voice but he does not speak much. Apart from the days that my two Irish brothers invade the house, I and he can stay in absolute silence for many hours. I enjoy these long pauses. I almost can hear my thoughts out loud.

As already clear, my dad re-married. He fathered two more kids, and of course divorced again. Even when he was with his second wife Molly, he had a special place in his heart for me. I don’t really know my brothers a lot, as they did not visit often when I was there. I don’t think they liked me. I remember the kindness and the sadness in my father’s easy when he looked at me. He used to take me for long walks hiking in the fields close to his house and he tried to teach me the different type of plants, as his father did for him. I could not understand why he bothered. I could not remember most of the names anyhow, let alone the attributes and benefits of each plant. I did not mind, I loved spending time with him, listening to his voice. I always wondered though if he loved me so much because of me, or because of my mum.

I have felt since forever that they never really stopped loving each other. They used me as an excuse to visit each other for the couple of days when they dropped me back and forth. I could see the air drifting around them every time, their auras; I could see the sparkles. They were both too proud to admit it, so they stayed apart and the years just kept passing by. I was traveling every few months from my house to my favorite place, Ireland. Just like that I reached my eighteenth year.

*****

Sometime before my eighteenth birthday I decided that I did not want to live in Greece any more. Greece is nice, sunny, happy place, but totally unlike me. I applied to a University for Fine Arts in Edinburgh and got accepted. No big deal, no fuss; one day I simply informed my mum that I was moving. She was skeptical at first but did not try to change my mind. I believe that deep in her heart she knew I did not fit in Greece.

The only real friend I ever made, Kellan, had already moved there a year ago from Galway, so that was one of the factors that gave me a push. There was an extra room in the house he was sharing with other students so I was practically there.

My dad was thrilled with my decision, since that meant that I would be closer to him and he had only one request.

"Maybe you should come here and celebrate being eighteen; we will open the pub, have a band and party. Let’s invite Kellan to come home for the weekend! We should even ask your mum to join us!"

That sounded absolutely. My mum was happy to follow me for the weekend and so the trip was fixed. This is how it all started.