The Essence of Eternity - Awaken

Chapter X - The Lake - the first time

It is already half past three, so I need to start preparing for my trip. I grab my backpack and although I should have returned the diary to Aisha and asked her about it, I decide to keep it for the weekend and show it to Dubhghall. Maybe he knows something about it. I need to talk to him about Tirinda and Elijah. I hope I will find the proper time to do that. I start packing a few things, like a cardigan, extra socks, a sleeping-bag; I used to go camping with my dad when I was young and I remember how cold the woods can be at night. I also take a bottle of water, some crackers and two bananas, a couple of cereal bars and a pack of gum. I do not expect to come across a shop in the woods!

Once my backpack is ready, I get in the shower to wash my hair. I scrub my face and my body with an exfoliating glove that is supposed to make your skin shine. I want to feel really nice, clean and beautiful tonight! I am planning to be intimate with my Dubhghall! I apply body lotion and perfume and I get dressed in a nice black set of underwear and a black top that is very soft and warm. I choose my black tights over my jeans and I finish my appearance with a long purple cardigan and boots. I blow dry my hair and put on some lipstick. It’s already fifteen to seven, so I take one last look at the mirror and go out the door to wait in the gazebo. I am really anxious now.

I sit in the gazebo and see Dubhghall appear from behind a tree and come straight towards me.

He hugs me and breathes in my hair and sighs, "Your scent is intoxicating to me!"

"Thank you; it’s Gaultier!"

"I did not say your perfume. Your perfume is fine. Wonderful, actually, but your scent is like a drug..."

"Oh! Thanks…I guess." I kiss him on the lips and then we start walking in the fields.

He tells me that after a short walk we will reach the Choirib. He can’t be talking about Lough Corrib; there is no way we can walk there. I do not interrupt him though. He is telling me the story of the lake, as only he could know it. He tells me that in the lake lies over twelve hundred islands which are believed to be the homes of various mythical creatures. Parts of the lake have been considered by mortals to be the entrance to the Otherworld. It is there where you can find the most well-known connection among the two worlds. The lake’s name is from Manannan Mac Lir, a sea God who was a psycho-pomp and escorted newly deceased souls to the afterlife.

I remember that, as after Dubhghall told me he comes from the Isle of Man I googled it. It seems that this island also got its name from the same person. Who was he really?

Dubhghall continues on and tells me that Manannan's role was to provide safe passage to the Otherworld. He was one of the followers of the Mother Goddess himself.

People once thought of the Otherworld as a heavenly place with many pleasures, wine, and joy. It appeared to be the land where nobody died and this lake got many visitors looking for a better life. Nowadays mortals don’t believe in such myths any more.

I am so taken away by his narration that I hadn’t noticed that we do not walk or run; we fly. Our feet do not touch the ground! We move very fast and if an outsider would look at us, I guess we would appear as mist. It is incredible! I ask him how he does that and he says that he just really focuses on where he wants to be and his body takes him. He tells me that I am doing the same; it’s all me! I am moving this fast on my own! My body just follows his lead, and it comes naturally. Awesome!

After a short while we reach our destination and I am speechless by the beauty of the place. I can’t understand how we managed to cover all this distance in such a short time. Another thing I will need to add to the long list of my new curious life.

The lake is huge, lying in the middle of a vast field. In the lake you see various small islands and on the islands creatures of every type are resting. There is no light apart from the moon but I can see every little detail. It is already late and dark and from some creatures you can see a blue light glowing in the night. I notice that as they move you see stardust falling from them, spreading around as if they are making a path or leaving a trail behind them. Remarkable! I am in a magical place for sure. I never believed that such beauty and magic existed in the world.

Dubhghall is now pulling me by the hand and as we get closer to the lake I see many creatures coming toward us and bowing their heads. Some kneel and I feel uneasy with these gestures. I guess they recognize me. I stand there still but Dubhghall tells me that they expect me to speak. I look closer to see that they are of very different breeds. Some of them are really tall and beautiful with long blonde hair that shines under the moon light, like elves or fairies, while others look more like small elves, and wear really tall hats. There are some that do not have a complete human form but look half human – half animal. None of them appear frightening to me. They all seem curious and impressed. What do I say to all these creatures? Dubhghall had told me that he wanted me to meet a fairy: one fairy - not the full set of supernatural here! I take a deep breath and decide this is it. I need to speak or else they may think I am stupid or something!

"Hello!" Well, duh! That will do little to convince then I am not an i***t!

I hear a lot of mumbling and whispering around so I decide the best way is to continue without pauses."I am not here to disturb you. I am here to introduce myself." I am feeling nervous and cannot think of how to continue.

Dubhghall understands this so he speaks on my behalf.

"Hello all. This is Titania, the Fairy Goddess you all have been waiting for! She is new to this experience and not yet fully aware of her destiny. We need to welcome her into our world and provide her with everything she may need."

I see that they all look at him with extreme devotion and respect and I understand the reason. He is tall and impressive and he looks fearless and lethal. He is indeed the warrior that can protect me and I trust him with my life. And on top of that he is so handsome and sexy! I know I need to focus on what we are doing now but I cannot keep my mind of the romantic evening that will follow. Dubhghall is cheeky, smiling at my thoughts but he continues. Business first!

"You have all known me for centuries and most of you are aware that I was meant to be the protector of the Queen that could lead us above ground… Titania is that Queen. She is here to do this deed with peace, wisdom and love for the mortals. I can hear in your thoughts that many of you are in touch with the other side as well. You know what they are looking for - a war! A war that could destroy what we have worked so hard to build all these years; a war that could cause the end of many lives, mortal and immortal!"

I think I am ready to speak now, but first I want to get in touch with them. I focus all my energy and hold it in my hands. My voice comes out clear and loud. I don’t know what I am about to say but the words come easy."Divine spirits of the supernatural, my people, my brothers and sisters, here I feel I am among family. I was always an outsider among humans but with you now I feel at ease. I want you to feel this too…" I open my hands to them and I channel all this energy out of my body; in the form of light and stardust and it travels around. It enters their bodies, their hearts. It makes them feel me. I notice a sensation of rapture spread around, so I continue.

"I am here for you. I will do my best to walk us through our destiny and into a different era. I do not know what I need to do, so I expect each and every one of you to help me understand my history and create our common future."

They start cheering now and it looks really hilarious. I see scattered images and I feel their joy and hope. Then it is Dubhghall who squeezes my hand. I turn to face him and I read in his mind that he is proud of me. I did well. Some of the creatures come closer and try to talk to me. Tirinda is here and I bow my head to greet her when I see a vision appearing from far behind. She is the most gracious, beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her hair is long and blue and she looks like the mythical mermaids, only she is real. She must be the fairy Dubhghall was taking about. As she approaches I see everyone bow their heads and clear a passage for her. They respect and worship her. She comes to me and bows her head and I do the same.

I am dumbfounded when she speaks to Dubhghall directly.

"I see you finally found your lady Dubhghall!"

"Indeed my Goddess…"

"You were right to wait for her. You are perfect for each other."

"Thank you, dear Goddess."

She turns to me and smiling she introduces herself.

"I am Fand, the Queen of the lake, the Lady of the Otherworld and I welcome you in my land."

"Thank you Goddess…I am Tita. What could I do to please you?"

"You, my Queen, need to finalize your change and awake your powers. You have elements that need to be exercised, in order for you to use them in the future. Practice!"

"Practice? How?"

Dubhghall jumps in, "I will explain everything to Titania later, my Goddess. Tonight I wanted her to meet with you and introduce herself to the rest of our people so they are not afraid to appear to her. She will need all the help she can get."

Fand looks serious and concerned. "Yes, I felt something was wrong when you didn’t return last night. Cold ones appeared?"

"Just one that has not yet been fully created, but he tried to harm her, so I could not leave her."

"You did as you were intended. They should know we maintain our powers and with the Fairy Queen with us, we have an important asset. It is our job to protect her always." Fand turns now to me. "It was really nice meeting you, Titania. I am here at the lake always, so when you feel the need to find me, don’t waste a second thought. Until we meet again…"

She bows again and turns around to leave with such grace. I notice only then that she has no legs; she does not walk the ground. She flies.

"She was incredible," I exclaim. "Very beautiful…and bluish!"

"Yes she is," Dubhghall agrees. "She is also very powerful and wise. She has lived on this world unseen for centuries."

"Who is she?"

Instead of answering, Dubhghall takes my hand and says,"Let’s walk away from here - it’s a bit too crowded for my tastes. Let me take you to my favorite place. We can camp there, if it’s fine with you. I will tell you everything you want to know."

"Yes, please," I say. "I so want to be alone with you finally!"

He smiles and leads me away. This was enough introductions for one night. Now it’s our time.

As we walk through the fields and start climbing a hill, he tells me the story of Fand, the Queen of the lake. Fand was Manannan's wife. She was the Lady of the Otherworld. With her female warriors she fought ferociously and passionately. During a battle she was captured by her enemies. Cu Chulainn, a dreadful mortal warrior then saves her and they become lovers but the fact that he was mortal while she was a fairy proved to be an obstacle to their union.

Finally, Fand learned about Emer, Cu Chulainn's previous wife. She loved her husband so much that when she found out about Cu Chulainn's love for Fand, she gave him up so that he could be with her. Fand was touched by her magnanimity.

Heartbroken, Fand returned to Manannan who loved her so much he did what she asked. First, she asked him to make both Cu Chulainn and Emer to forget everything so that they could be together again. Then, Manannan shook his magical cloak between Fand and Cu Chulainn to ensure they would never meet again. Grateful, Fand intended to stay with Manannan, but he decided that the two worlds should remain separated and put guards at the entrance all around the lake.

Having lost both Cu Chulainn and Manannan, Fand remained between the two worlds waiting for another lover to come along.

It’s so confusing all this information. So many names and facts and all I can think about is that Dubhghall may possibly be that partner as he meets all the criteria, tall, handsome, sexy, and a fearless warrior…I wonder if she was really happy that I appeared.

"It’s not like that, you know!" Dubhghall says.

"What do you mean?"

"With her."

"Dubhghall you should really stop hearing my thoughts!" I chide him. "I would appreciate some privacy sometimes."

"I cannot do that, my lady," he tells me. "They just come to me. I do not do that on purpose. I am sorry, but that is my gift, my lady. This is how I can protect you."

"It’s not fine, but I guess I’ll have to live with it. Now, what do you mean, it’s not like that?"

"I do like Fand, obviously. But she stands no chance. I am bonded to you. I was meant to be with you, as you were meant to be with me."

"But Aisha told me I could still choose Kellan if I wanted."

"Did she say that? You could choose Kellan?"

"Well, she didn’t name him specifically, but whom else could she have meant?"

"What is your heart telling you?"

"It was always you."

"It’s the same for me, you know. Even stronger." He stops walking and says, "We are here!"

I see now that we stand at the edge of a cliff surrounded by nature with a full moon over our heads. The view is dazzling. From up here you see the lake at a distance. It looks like a lovely postcard! I can see small features of light moving around and it is so romantic and beautiful. I am filled with joy! I cannot get enough of this view, this place. I see Dubhghall is already preparing the place for us to stay. He takes my sleeping bag and places it on the ground and then takes a really small black candle out from his pocket and lights it with his fingers. How much more is there to learn about this fantastic man?

"What is that,Dubhghall?" I ask him.

"This is a protection candle. For a while, I just want to enjoy being with you and stop worrying about the rest of the world. This candle protects us and hides us in the night. We can see, but we cannot be seen. Come sit close to me my love…"

When he calls me my love, it’s like I am melting inside. Never in my life have I expected this wonderful man to appear. Even when I felt there is something coming in my future, I could not believe he would be so incredible.

I sit down next to him, looking at the incredible view of the lake. I still cannot believe how beautiful it seems. He takes off my shoes tenderly and fondles my legs and my thighs. He turns me the other way around, so I am on my back to face him and he gazes at me. He is just looking at me and I do the same. I cannot take my eyes off of him. I don’t know how much time passes but I feel that this is something like a recognition ritual. I look deep in his eyes and it’s as if it is the first time we meet…properly.

Dubhghall says to me, "We have plenty of hours to talk later…if you allow me now I want to make love to you."

It’s strange that he asks but of course I do not object.

Slowly, he leans over me and starts a soft, erotic kiss. I feel my body trembling for his touch. I want him so badly, but still, I really enjoy this extended foreplay. He places his body carefully over mine and while kissing me, he starts unbuttoning my jacket. He slips his hands under by top. He kisses me with passion and love, I do not resist. He holds back just to look me in the eyes again and check that I am ok, but I pull him back over me. Never stop! I think this is it…will it happen here? I would have never imagined such a magical place to make love for the first time. A full moon shines above our heads and the moonlight drops over the lake. The picture is magical. He is magical; so handsome and sexy. Will I ever be as good? Does he know I am a virgin? I am a bit nervous and he stops…Shit! I always forget that he can hear my thoughts!

"I am fine," I say. "Don’t stop…I have been waiting for you my whole life."

"I just want you to be sure, my love… I have waited much longer than you can ever imagine and I am not going anywhere if you do not want me to continue now."

"I am here, I want you…this is it!" I try to pull him to my body.

Now I let my senses expand and I can smell the unique aroma of the wet ground, the spring leaves, the blossoming flowers, nature at its best and it is filling me with self-confidence. I am in touch with my most basic component; with my physical self. I don’t spend much time considering all this though. Dubhghall is kissing me again, constantly…I am breathless but I do not need to breath! I want him to continue kissing me, touching me, making love to me…He is taking off my top and my bra; he is kissing my breasts softly. He does it with such care and love and tenderness that it feels, oh my God, so wonderful! I have never felt like this before.

When I made out with Kellan it was never like this…

I am whispering in his ear that I want him, I love him, I adore him, I want to feel him and he looks at me, smiles and surprises me by saying "This is the most beautiful day of my existence. I am here to worship you my lady, my queen -my love. I have been waiting for you for so long…"

He speaks like a poet and I am thinking that I can’t be this lucky; he is so romantic and yet strong and powerful. His body is lean, but full of muscles. He is a man by all means, not an eighteen year old boy.

He kisses me again, deeply and eagerly and he keeps on fondling my body, touching me everywhere…His fingers travel me, he is exploring me; every bit of me. He knows he owns me, as I know he is mine now, and for always. I take of his t-shirt and I am ready to cry out of happiness… It can’t be that this precious man, this creature is here with me! He is so perfect! I kiss him on his neck, his chest, his n*****s, everywhere and then he undresses me completely and as he is lying on top of me, our bodies are fixed to each other. I am eager for his feel…his kind, soft touch. I want him inside me...and he is very careful and gentle at first, but he is inside me…again and again, and I feel him everywhere; I hear his heart beating like crazy. We are one! His whole being has entered my body to love me, make me happy.

I am getting more and more excited now and I scratch his back. I lick his neck and then I smell the blood from the cuts my nails make. It does not smell like human blood, which is awful and tastes…Wow really, why am I thinking this now? I do not know how human blood tastes…what the hell is this? I can’t stop, so I scratch him again as I want him deeper. I can’t stop pulling him to me. His blood barely comes out from a nick on his neck but it is enough. My instinct is too strong; my tongue is instantly on the nick and I lick it; it is like the most expensive wine, stunning and sweet and awesome and I lick again! I put my lips on his neck and I am actually sipping now. It feels right…this feels beautiful and normal…

He whispers, "You can drink from me if you want…"

I do not respond. I do not think. I bite him harder so that the nick opens up and I start drinking…small sips at first -oh my God, it tastes so good! He moans but it is not out of pain. I guess what I am doing, provides him with some kind of pleasure. I feel his blood spreading inside my body and strengthening me…far beyond description! He continues making love to me and I am close to living the ultimate pleasure. He goes faster and harder and oh my God, oh my God!!!Oh my...

He slows down now and I understand that I still have my lips on his neck; I lick the last drop of blood, when he kisses me deeply again and lies there on top of me. I wrap my arms around him and he sighs…I breathe out silently and it is like my pleasure is spread all around me. As if earth and nature also feel satisfied and content…