The Essence of Eternity - Awaken

Chapter VI - Revelations - the diary

When I open my eyes, it is already five past ten. I feel refreshed and full of energy. I am thinking of breakfast and at once I am out of bed. I go in the kitchen and prepare my breakfast. I want milk and honey and fruits and some muesli and I realize that my appetite is getting bigger every day; the last thing I needed now is to put on extra weight. I need to reduce my food… and I will start my diet at lunch time!!!

After a really good breakfast, I go out to find my dad carrying wood in the yard. I volunteer to help him, as if I could carry anything. He points to a pile of smaller sticks. I lift one up and in fact it seems quite light. Am I getting extra powers? Interesting. I try a couple of bigger logs, but still they don’t seem too heavy to carry. I need to hide my enthusiasm; by no means should I start carrying around logs as if they are matches. My dad will see there is something different in me and I don’t want him to freak out. I probably need to get out of here anyway. I am thinking of going back to the old bookstore to find the old lady. Maybe she will tell me something more. And if not, at least I could find a book to buy. I tell my dad I won’t be long and I am off.

*****

Entering the old shop, I see the lady sitting at the cash register with her husband next to her and I understand that now is not the time to go to her. I go to the back of the shop and start reading the titles of the books, as I did last time, and I find a new addition on the shelf. It is not a new book though; it seems like somebody has put it there. I start getting intense feelings and thoughts. It is strange; this is the first time I can do that. What is this power that grows in me I wonder; maybe it has to do with fact that I welcome it now. I understand that the lady is feeling frustrated; she wants to come speak to me but her husband is watching her. There is something strange going on here. Why would he have a problem with her talking to me? I focus on him and I hear him thinking, it is too dangerous.

I am too dangerous?

The Queen said she should not get involved or she will suffer.

Which Queen would that be? He is afraid for his wife. He loves her deeply. He is wondering if I know something about his wife; about her being the connection; about the two worlds. I am bombarded by their thoughts and I try to focus and make some sense out of them. Am I imagining this?

As I am standing there not moving, I feel her hand on my shoulder. I turn to face her and from the corner of my eye I see her husband lock the door and vanish behind a curtain.

"Follow me child please."

Speechless, I follow her as she opens a secret door behind the library and she is leading me into a smaller room with a round table and a couple of chairs. The table is covered with a tablecloth of deep blue velvet and the walls are painted purple. This room has no window, no decoration, and no curtains; only a thick, soft blue carpet. Although it is lightened only by a few candles, I can see very clearly.

"Please sit down my child and ask me whatever it is you want to know."

"First of all, let me thank you for taking the risk your husband thinks you are taking. Please tell me what risk is this?"

"I may lose my affinity" she tells me. "My connection to the two worlds, and once I am mortal again I may suffer physical and mental pain. Nobody I know of has ever survived losing their affinity."

"Are you an immortal?" I ask in shock.

"No my child, I am a semi mortal. I am not dying any time soon but I cannot live the life of an immortal; as you may see I am aging…"

"Immortals don’t age?"

"They age until they reach adultness, and then they stop. This is a gift for creatures existing in the Otherworld."

"Are there many immortals?"

"Yes, indeed."

"Are they evil?"

"Are you evil?"

Her question surprised me. "I don’t know…I am not a saint but I am not that bad either I think…" What does this mean? Am I immortal?

"It is the same for all of us, mortals and immortals; we have purity and evil inside; mixed in different portion."

"What is your purpose between these worlds exactly?" I can’t seem to stop asking.

"I transfer knowledge and information. I have walked both worlds for many years and I know the right people as you would say."

"And what is your message for me?"

"There is no message for you now my child. You came to me! I once met your mother when you were young and I tried to help her release you from your destiny. I delivered a message for you then. You would live in silence and peace, had you not known anything; but it seems there is something stronger calling you to your nature…your people."

"What people? I have no people."

"You will learn everything in time my child. You will meet them all. You need to know your past first. Open up… Sense the change and welcome it. You are different and you have a great supporter already."

"You mean Dubhghall? You told me last time he carried darkness…"

"I also told you that in darkness you can find truth and light. He has been good and evil in the past. He has lived many lives and taken many as well. But for you he will always be your shelter, if you choose him."

"I do not have a choice…I think I love him! Is this even possible? I’ve only known him a few days."

"I know you think you love him but you will also love another…of different nature. Once everything is revealed your heart may lead you differently than you think…"

"Who do you mean? Kellan?"

"All you need to know now is that your destiny has taken a different path than the one you had a few days ago. Many facts have led to that. You need to learn your past, communicate with your tribe, and connect with your protector. You have less than a few months. If you decide to embrace your destiny you may have a chance to change the future of this world. If you decide to remain as you were, visit me and I will delete everything from your mind."

"What would happen to the world then?"

"I do not know. The Samhain festivity may mean nothing to mortals but the immortals have been preparing for many years. Those who have been banned to live underground demand only their fair chance in the upper world."

"What is the Samhain?"

"It is the greatest Sabbath. A festival to celebrate the lives of those who have passed on; the time to pay respect to elders of the faith and other loved ones who have died. It is the time when the two worlds are divided by the thinnest veil; the changing point between light and darkness. It is the beginning of the New Year."

"New Year?"

"Their new year! They do not follow the Christian Calendar; they do not recognize Jesus Christ as their savior."

"When is it?"

"November 1st."

"And I need to stop them?"

"No child you cannot stop them, you need to lead them bloodlessly with purity and kindness."

Her words terrify and excite me.

"Why me?" I dare to ask.

"I was wondering when you would ask me this. You were born at the beginning of Beltane. That along with your bloodline brought the Goddess closer to you and she blessed you with the connection to Fay. You are exactly the opposite of Samhain. You can balance good and evil. You have royal blood inside…your family has withheld great secrets from you."

My mind is reeling with the unfamiliar words. "What is Fay?"

"Nature. I know you have felt this. Even when I first saw you as a child, you had the ability to see what other humans don’t."

"What is Beltane?"

"The festivity for light and fertility. The entrance to the second half of the year. The lighter part."

"When is that?"

"The Christian calendar calls it May, when you were born."

"You mentioned a Goddess? Which Goddess?"

"The Mother Goddess of us all! You need to go now my child. I know Eoden keeps an eye outside and in this room we are not visible to anyone, but there are many eyes watching us. Keep what you believe most precious to yourself, if you are not sure who you are revealing it to."

"One last question please…"

"Tell me…"

I am scared but I have to know. "What am I?"

"You are different."

"Am I an immortal?"

"Yes."

"Am I a vampire?" I ask softly.

"No, child" she responds with a smile.

"Why would you ever think that? You are indeed of immortal nature, but you were not created, as a vampire is. You were born with the gift; with the blood! You are much more than a vampire. You should not restrict yourself with such definitions though…Immortal nature can take various forms and in all of them you can find interesting aspects."

"Like what?"

"Well, the world has known vampires for a long time but there are other undead creatures hiding in the dark. Some of them may seem beautiful and harmless but they are not…not always!"

"Thank you so much for helping me out and again I am sorry for your risk. I really am!"

"Don’t worry about me, my child. I am glad to be able to help you."

I thank her again and give her a kiss on her cheek. I know I will meet this woman again in my life; I am already feeling really grateful to her. She smiles at me and I smile back when she says...

"Above all you are still a very good girl!"

I go out in the street and put on my sunglasses, despite the fact that there is not much sun; the darkness in there must have affected my eyes. I walk back to the house and all I can think is that this old lady is the only person who has given me straight answers for my questions. Was she for real? Could any of this just be lies? I know they could. They could be the talk of an insane woman. They could, but they are not. I know. I can embrace all these answers because they seem closer to my reality than any other explanation I could give.

I am of immortal nature. How can this be? My parents are not. They seem young but they are clearly in their early forties. I need to find information about my family - both Aisha and Dubhghall told me that. Could I ask my dad? Is it even my dad’s family or is it from my Greek side? My mum would definitely freak out if I asked her. Aisha told me she had met my mother and spoken to her. Mum has never talked to me about anything like this.

Now would seem like a great time for a panic attack but I am strangely calm. This news does not seem so out of the world to me. Deep inside I always knew I had something different. I have just been waiting for someone to confirm it.

I reach the house only to find my dad gone. I look at my watch and I see it is already half two in the afternoon, so much for not being late. I missed my chance to talk to him for today. Most probably he will spend the rest of the day at the pub. The phone is ringing.

"Hello…"

"Hi pumpkin, how are you?"

"Hello Kellan. I am fine thanks."

"Where have you been?"

"I was chopping and stacking wood with my dad this morning and then I went to town for a little walk." I hear him laughing really loudly and I start getting annoyed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I am imaging you with an axe!"

"I did not actually cut them, I only carry them…" He laughs again…so annoying!

"Sorry, sorry, but the image is hilarious! What did you carry? A match?"

"Did you want something or have you just called to laugh at me?"

"Did you cut a finger this morning or something?"

"No."

"Then you could have called me all day but you didn't!"

"And again, what would you like my dear friend?"

"I am coming over to spend some time. I haven’t seen you at all since your birthday."

"Ok fine." I say. An idea strikes me. "Hey, bring lunch, I am starving!"

"Fine. See you in a bit…"

I was not planning to see Kellan but I welcome his company, and the forthcoming food. I am a bit tired from all these supernatural issues and I still haven’t met Batman! Maybe in reality he does look like Christian Bale - I would love that so much! I am giggling to myself now. It seems a bit remarkable that I have courage to fool around with all these issues in my head. But, I am partially Greek, so I am allowed to say, I will deal with it later."

I go in the living room and turn on the TV. I find some stupid show about some stupid people living in a house full of cameras. I can’t believe how insightful George Orwell was, when he was describing Big Brother, only these silly people are in there by choice. Where is this world really going? I remember that I have with me one of my old time classic favorite movies: Reality Bites. I put it in the laptop and start to play it. I know Kellan will whine; it’s not that he does not like this movie. I think he is jealous of Ethan Hawk looking all gorgeous and sexy. More likely he is jealous of me drooling all over the laptop every time Ethan appears! I don’t mind. It’s the best way for me to be carried away for a while. Kellan finally arrives with the food, so we sit comfortably on the sofa with our big sandwiches, so much for my diet! After a bit of disagreement, as always, Kellan finally decides this is a fight he never wins, the movie starts. We finish our food and lying there on the sofa, I fall asleep in Kellan's hug.

*****

I wake up after a while to see that Kellan is asleep with a smile on his face. I wonder what he is dreaming of and as I focus on that thought I am suddenly in his dream; not as myself but as an observer. I feel he is really happy. I see him making out with me – a very strange sight for me to watch and then he turns around and he is making out with Alicia! I guess this is a good reason for any man to be happy! Their contact seems more raw and physical; after a long kiss she lifts his head and bites him roughly just below his ear. He groans from pleasure and she is drinking his blood! Oh my God! He cries out, this is scary. Then she stops and glances at me threateningly, as she could see me in the dream; she is creepy! I am shocked and back to my own body.

Before Kellan wakes up I stand and start searching his neck, just below his ears, for any marks but I do not see anything. He wakes up to find me standing really close to him, so he pulls me closer to kiss me. I try to pull back but he is holding me there and he tries to kiss me again. Is he ablaze because of the dream or does he actually want me, I wonder.

"Please stop Kellan."

"Why? I thought this is what you wanted. You were all over me."

"No I wasn't. I was looking for something. Anyway, we said no more kissing."

"No, you said no more kissing. All I did was sigh…"

"You sighed for agreement."

"That is not why I sighed…”

"Come on Kellan…"

"Ok ok…I will be good! I promise. Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure" I say. Anything to get out of this conversation. "Let me go change."

"I can help you!"

I turn and walk away. "That wouldn’t be necessary but thanks…"

"I will be outside then."

We spend the evening walking around in the fields. Kellan is giving me strange looks all the afternoon; like being in awe about something. I do not pay attention. I concentrate on the signs I get from the earth under my feet and the air and nature around me and I am trying to hide all these feelings I have from Kellan. I am a bit worried, as it’s getting dark. Maybe Dubhghall is somewhere around watching me. I am wondering if he would be annoyed with me spending time with Kellan. Well, I guess of course he would be; I would for sure be annoyed, if I knew he was kissing someone else now. I did almost kiss Kellan again. I didn’t mean to do it this time and stopped it immediately. Last time Dubhghall told me he is in pain when somebody else touches me. Would he know about this now? And what was this dream Kellan had about Alicia. How could I even be able to see in his dream? I guess this is another aspect of my new me. After a really long walk we decide to go to my dad’s pub and have a couple of drinks.

We enter the pub to find quite a few people there, which is bizarre, but from Kellan I learn that each Monday my dad has a 'happy hour'. That is the reason for all these people drinking on a Monday night. We are ordering our drinks and go to our table to find it full, so we decide to sit on the bar. Better for me, my dad is there as well, so Kellan is restricting his words and actions. After a couple of hours I am heading back home to read my book and sleep.

I haven’t opened it since I left Aisha’s shop other day. She gave it to me. It was the one that looked intentionally put on the shelves. She told me I should read it and return it to her, once I am done. I open it and start reading only to realize it is a dairy. This seems really interesting. I scan a few pages and begin reading.

*****

July 15th, 1853

Dear Diary,

I am home from school and I am quite exhausted. I saw him again today and although I know he does not love me, he behaved very intimately with me. He tried to explain what is going on and told me that I need not be afraid. He told me that their intentions are not evil. They merely need to communicate with me. They have been imprisoned for a long time. His movements are very agile. He is clearly not a man. He says he is a spirit but I know the truth. He is undead; frozen. My mother says that she heard that undead killed a man a fortnight ago at the port. It was said that the body had had been drained of blood. But I know in my heart that he is not evil. I feel I love him. He approached me again today and seduced me and then he drank from me, as before. I felt no pain then. I am pain now only as I really need him to come back and drink again…

Mary Anna

Oh my god! 1853? Is this thing real? Who is Mary Anna? Why did Aisha give this to me? I want to read more, so I turn the page.

*****

July 16th, 1853

Dear Diary,

I have not ventured out today as I was feeling ill. I have a high fever. I am sad that I cannot see him. I miss him so much! I hope tomorrow I will be feeling better.

Mary Anna

*****

July 17th, 1853

Dear Diary,

Last night something magnificent happened. I was feeling really ill and tired and I was sleeping and dreaming of him and then he was here; in my room! I was so frightened; my mother and father were in the next room, but he assured me that nobody would know. He undressed me and kissed me and started drinking from me again and I felt so much better. It felt so warm and true and then he bit his arm and put it in my mouth and I licked his blood. It tasted like wine, so delicious! I was overcome with emotion and the proceeding events are not clear, but I believe we were intimate with each other...

This morning I woke up alone. I dressed and already I am feeling much better. My mother says it must have been just a cold. I am going out later. I hope I will see him.

I am so happy! He must love me if he came to cure me!

Mary Anna

Can it be that this girl, so many years ago, met an immortal? Is this why Aisha gave it to me to read it? Was he really a vampire? He was drinking her blood. It seems like a stupid romantic fiction novel…It can’t be true. Only somewhere inside me I know it is. I am wondering if this man has something to do with my Dubhghall. Νο, it can’t be; Dubhghall is not a vampire. Is he? Lost in my thoughts I fall asleep.