U.N.T.O.L.D

Chapter 5

After that meeting I stood in the temple, bewildered and confused by Apollo's words.

Did he really love me?

I knew that I was fair looking but certainly not the most beautiful woman in Troy, and anyway not as beautiful as a goddess. I supposed I was intelligent but not more than many other people. I couldn't see anything really outstanding in my personality.

Apollo was one of the most powerful and honored Olympians. He was a master of music, prophecy, archery, healing. His beauty could not be described with human words. Then why would he woo me? What did he find in me that he couldn't find even in a goddess?

He could not really love me. It was probably just his lust speaking, the lust I had felt so clearly in my mind.

"What if I get pregnant? And one day I will get old and ugly… will he still love me then?" It was hard to believe that he would. I understood that a god couldn't love a mortal and I didn't hold a grudge against him for that. But I deeply regretted telling him that he was not indifferent to me: by doing so, I had accepted his courtship.

"He's kind, handsome, I owe him so much… I feel so drained to him I can barely restrain myself… what should I do now? Should I let him woo me and know that I will likely be abandoned afterwards?"

Usually I would've talked to Aesacus for advice but I felt this was not the moment. He probably wouldn't have believed me.

Lying in my bed, I thought about it again and again. I loved Apollo. If I could have been certain of his affection, I would have been happy to be with him. But I didn't wish to just satiate his desire and then be left to live with the consequences.

Suddenly, sleep came over me.

The blond man called Achilles held a spear and Hector tried to defend himself with his own shield. Utterly confused, I could see I was on the walls with many other Trojans, including Priam, Hecuba and Andromache. They all watched the fight. "It's all because Hector killed Patroclus" I thought to myself. "What am I saying? Who is Patroclus? And besides, Hector didn't kill anyone! There hasn't been a war in years!" another part of me said vehemently.

Aesacus stood by my side with a worried look and on my other side stood a beautiful woman with blonde hair – Helen- I thought.

"Am I out of my mind? Who is Helen?"

I focused again on the fight, where nothing had changed. Achilles was still in charge. Then, with a horrified shiver, I saw Achilles' spear hitting Hector and piercing the exposed region between his neck and shoulder. Blood spilled from the wound and Hector kneeled, gasping. Achilles, still standing, shove the spear even deeper into the wound.

I heard cries around me but I could not get my eyes off from my brother. He pressed both hands on his throat and then collapsed on the ground. A loud, bellowing cry of joy came from the Achaeans. –what Achaeans? – But they were there, Agamemnon, Ajax, Menelaus… I couldn't say how I knew their names. Another horrified cry came from the Trojans; Achilles was attaching Hector's body to his own chariot. Then he climbed on the chariot and started riding. A long trail of blood followed him.

An Achaean warrior called Ajax kissed me roughly on the lips and then ripped my dress, not caring that we were in Apollo's temple. Those very calloused hand I had felt so many times in my dreams touched my legs. I tried to resist, to fight him, but he just laughed and then…

I awoke with a cry. It wasn't just a series of confused images this time: this was prophecy, I knew it was.

My beloved brother was going to die a terrible death at the hands of an enemy, his body was going to be disrespected. I was going to be r***d by an enemy.

Shocked, I got up and headed to the terrace; I needed to walk. But instead of being greeted with the usual sight of my city immersed in the darkness, I found out that Troy was on fire. I turned my head to where the sea was but I found out it was almost covered in ships.

I was about to cry for help when I understood this was a vision as well.

I covered my eyes, breathing deeply. I don't know how long I stayed like that. When I looked again, everything around me was back to normal.

"What have I done? Why did I ask for that gift? And how could I accept Apollo's courtship?"

Now I knew that he didn't love me. He didn't, or he wouldn't have allowed Ajax to r**e me. I would be just a distraction for him, a girl to use and then toss away. And he knew about me, my brother, my city… and he hadn't even bothered to tell me, to prepare me…

I felt repulsed.

I had to refuse him.