The Lie That Made Me Love You

Chapter 11 - A grumpy apology

Julian West

From the point where I walked out of the PR's door to being confined in the elevator space. I have been silent. Chewing down on my teeth and gritting them against each other really helped. Most of the feelings I was having at the moment were too volatile to try speaking. I knew I would only end up snapping at him.

Henry, being Henry, didn't bother trying to strike up a conversation with me. I applauded him for that, he did the right thing.

Even while in the car, he didn't spark up any conversation. I would look in his direction and see him looking out the passenger window while I drove. Halfway through the journey, he connected to the car's speaker. Deep down, I prayed it would not be something too loud that would make me irritated. But then I heard the introduction chords. They were so familiar, yet I couldn't put my finger on what the song was till a pretty female voice began singing the first words.

Heart beats fast, colors and promises…

“M*therfucker…” I muttered under my breath. He didn't seem to hear me, or at least he acted like he wasn't listening to me. Instead, he begins swaying his head side to side along with the song.

I knew what the song was. I knew exactly what he was doing. I honestly was surprised that he took a different route in picking something that would annoy me.

“Seriously Henry?! The f*cking sad twilight song?” I finally spoke up about it because staying silent allowed the song to play into the chorus.

“What??” He feigned being oblivious.

I throw him a side glare which he is unaffected by. My hand tightened around the wheels and for a second, I wish I had some form of super strength. I totally saw myself ripping off the steering wheel and using it as a brass knuckle to punch the f*ck out of his f**k-boy face.

“It is a great song. I don't know why you are acting like it is your kryptonite. You listen to Lana Del Rey for Christ's sake. You are not in the place to complain about cinematic music.”

“I don't believe your choices are innocent. You know why you played this song.” I snapped at him, trying to focus on the road, so I didn't look at his badly curated expression of innocence.

“I don't know what you are talking about, Julian. What about the apology video, need any help?” Henry switched topics like an expert getaway driver switching lanes in a highway chase.

“I am staring at a blank page in my head,” I replied. I went with the topic change.

“So is that a yes or no?...” Now he sounded truly confused.

“I don't know, Henry. Quit playing that silly wedding song, and maybe I will make sense of my words.”

Henry acted as if he was going to turn it off from the speaker directly, only to drive the volume three steps higher.

“You don't just listen, do you…”

Now he was acting like he couldn't hear me. Being within two feet of each other, he still felt the need to strain his ear at me, “What did you say?” He spoke louder than the music. He was putting up these whole acts to get on my nerves. The worse part was that it was really working.

At least he wasn't talking about how I treated Sophie back in the meeting room. I remembered that last eye contact we made. It was supposed to be my eyes sweeping past her to go to the door, but something in her eyes held me a bit. A blaze that was pointed directly at me.

She stared at me like she couldn't stand my guts. Little did she know how mutual those feelings were.

We got to my apartment and headed straight for my office. It used to be empty, filled with dust. Old packing boxes from the time I moved in occupied the space, then I modified it into a small library. With time, as my career kept going through the roof and the books I spent time writing in Cafe and during college research hours, I was able to convert it into a whole ass office/study for myself.

I placed my phone on a tripod and a blank white sheet of paper before me.

“How do you apologize for a crime you didn't commit?”

That's all that rang in my head. I looked into the camera facing me.

“I know you all wonder what I mean by that. But I checked for the Chatter post that talked about me calling a woman fat, and it was no longer up. But my life has taken a toll already. I guess this is what canceling culture has become. We are all eager to tear each other down.”

I took a deep breath, preparing myself to spew the vile words.

“I guess what I am trying to say is…I am sorry. I didn't mean to call anybody fat and I can't recall doing that at all. But what has been done, has been said and done. I hate that my fans who I care so much about are the same people behind my tears. The irony…” I chuckled, shaking my head.

“So yeah. I am sorry to everyone I hurt out there, but I didn't do it. I would take the time to focus on my personal life. Maybe this is the universe's way of saying take a break. Xoxo”

I pressed the record button to stop the record.

“xoxo?? What the f*ck are you on??” Henry pulled the double door apart and walked in like he owned the place.

I physically facepalmed. Of course, he was eavesdropping.

“Oh you don't have to be shy about it, Jules. It was actually great and simple. It's just…xoxo” He trailed off, his lips trembling before bursting into a fit of laughter, bending over, holding his belly.

“Just get out man…” I sighed.

He eventually did get out. Leaving me to my thoughts.

It made me wonder. Just how much of this could I keep up with?