We alighted from the luxurious car Ethan had come to pick me with, the sun shone down the earth, and directly to me. I guided my son's face from it, he matters more now. Holding him, I could feel my heart heavy with joy, happiness, and some hope. Ethan, with his hand signaled to me to come inside.
Right in front of me, was a very massive building, covered with expensive looking glasses. Two other cars aside the one we came with parked in its compound. It's my first time visiting Ethan's house, all through our courtship and my pregnancy period, I never visited here. Because he told me not to, and I obeyed.
This place felt like home in an instant, why not? I had just birthed the heir to the home, and love Ethan a lot. Ethan opened the automated door with the side remote, and paved the way for his son and I.
Stepping into the house, I felt a huge calm and relief, my mind settled in an instant. The mansion interior's decor looked top notch. The chandelier, the POP decorations, furniture, I loved everything. And as if I already had ownership or right to the house, I went towards the flower vase on the drawer below the television pinned to the decorated wall, picked it up, and kept it on the glass center table. Somehow, the vase happened to be the only thing I didn't like in the sitting room, everything in the house being glassy and modern, the vase shouldn't have been wooden.
"We'll purchase a new vase Ethan." I said, looking towards his direction.
"Hm-mm" he hummed, nodding his head. For some reason, since he came to pick our son and I from the hospital, he has been surprisingly cold and quiet. Unlike when he heard about the birth of our child.
"Maybe he's trying to figure out fatherhood" I excused. Then moved back to a couch, dusted it, even if there was no dirt on it and placed our son.
"He is sleeping soundly… looks so much like me." I teased, expecting Ethan to argue, he only shrugged. I let it slide, and then kept a pillow close to our child to protect him.
"Tell me Ethan, what do we name our child? " I asked even if I already had a name in mind. But his own choice of name will be better for our child I decided.
"Jackson," he responded. Just one word.
"Jackson…" I repeated slowly, as if processing the acceptance of the name. "A nice name" I muttered with a peck on Jackson's forehead. Then sat. Ethan walked forward to me,
"We have to talk," he told me, looking all serious. For the first time since I arrived, my heart skipped.
"About what? Anything serious?" I inquired.
"I have thought about us, we can't work." He answered briefly, as if that would have been enough to feed my curiosity.
"What is that supposed to mean? I don't get you." I spoke further.
"We can't get married. That's what I mean" he answered briefly again. He has this bad habit whenever he wants something to go his own way.
I felt dizzy for a moment,
"What the f**k are you insinuating Ethan?" At this point, his answers weren't enough for me, I needed a clear response.
"I can not marry you, let's path our way" he repeated, his face giving all audacity like he had planned all of this before presenting it to me.
Deep inside of me, I felt a pierce, like someone had intentionally stabbed my heart, and that is Ethan only. I laughed, I stood up, stared at him, one thing I needed to hear
"I'm joking " but I didn't hear that from him. He was all reluctant and unremorseful. I couldn't explain what I was feeling, maybe it's anger or sadness, or bitterness.
" Why didn't you tell this to me earlier Ethan? Why did you make me believe we are good, that our relationship was okay? Why did you make me carry our child when you weren't interested in me? Why…" I wasn't done asking my page full question when he interrupted.
"Is it not enough that I thought of you as worthy to bear my child? Don't make this look or feel serious.” He snapped, leaving me in awe. Did I fail to see this or he didn't show me this side of him?
"This isn't serious Ethan? That I gave my heart and a part of me isn't serious?" As if my mind was made up, with already blurred eyes, and swollen face, I decided to leave. Went towards the couch I had laid Jack on before, as I was about to lift my child, I felt this hard grip, before I could look up, the tears already stored in my eyes all dripped down, thank goodness it did then, I wouldn't want to him to see me crying because of this whole scenario he caused.
I stood straight, his grip still on me.
"You can't leave with my son," he said so boldly and clearly. I felt a deep hotness pass through my face in an instant, my hands hardened as I folded them.
"Why?"
He then left my arm he had held,
"He is my heir, and he has to stay with me."
I chuckled, but there was no humor in what he just said. "And he is my Son, I have every right over him"
He turned his back against me, and from what I could see, it was as if his arms were folded
"Look around, Jane. The house, the luxury, the life. Can you give him half of it?" He questioned. I was pissed.
"Morals, values, a mother's love, care. Can you give that to my child or get anyone to do that?" I questioned back, the question might have made him infuriated,
"You don't have to give yourself too much importance, I'll hire nannies. Tell me, what do you want? I can pay you off to start your life somewhere distant and new."
My heartbeat thudded in my heart after that noise he just made, "Yo…" I stopped myself before I said something worse. I made an attempt to carry my son, but… had a second thought. Someone like Ethan might not be easy to handle because of his wealth and influence, especially concerning sensitive matters like this. I should have realized that before now.
I left the house, with my weak body, a heavy soul, without my child. I don't know what exactly to do yet, where to go, or who to tell that I had a child for a man without marriage but because I love him. Everything felt so unreal, the same man that'd be willing to leave work just to spend time with me, why did he suddenly turn bitter?
Leaving the house felt so tough, the sun I had protected my child from entering a house I thought would be home, decided to beat me so hard. I boarded the closest bus, each bump on the road pressed deeper into my chest. My eyes swelled with tears as I stared out at the window, I closed it, sending the tears back, then watching buildings slide past while feeling the tyre roll continually beneath me, people walking with purpose. Everyone seemed to know where they were going, I didn't. The only place I could think of was our apartment.
For some reason, everyone thinks I dated Ethan for his money, so did my mom, even if all I have is love and also the only thing I ever wanted from him.
“Go from here to your fiance’s house.” She had told me at the hospital, “We'll prepare for the marriage.’’ I was all smiling and happy, but I know, I know my mom doesn't want me back home because of what the neighbors will whisper.
“But now what? Where else can I go if not there.”
Our sitting room isn't large, but enough. The door at the passage opened directly to it, just a square space that holds everything carefully arranged to look bigger than it is. I had forgotten to knock. My mom was sitting on one of the sofas, peeling potatoes. She looked up to me,
“Jane..,” I must have been the person she least expected in her home. But in an instant, I ran to her, folded my hands round her shoulder and rested my head in it, bursting out all the tears I have held for so long.
“Heyyy,” she said, dropping the tray of potatoes she was peeling before I entered, “You look worried. Where is your son?” She asked.
But where do I start from? How do I explain to her that the man I love deeply just betrayed my love?
“Tell me Jane” mom said again, sounding impatient.
“He doesn't want to marry me,” I spilled. My mom's eyes shone,
“Was it not a love relationship? You said that yourself right?” She inquired. I had indeed said that myself, but can I still defend it?
“He didn't give me a valid reason for why we can't get married, and still wants custody of her son.” I sobered.
My mom went quiet, then spoke. “Okay… marriage or not, that’s between the both of you, but a child has to be nurtured and raised by its mom, no one else.” I could feel the annoyance and heaviness in her tone, and for a moment, it felt like I made a very wrong decision, even if I was not ready to admit that, everything still felt like a prank.
“He has luxury mom, influence, a lot to squander, we have none of this. His reason why I can't be with my child.”
My mom shrugged her shoulder off my head, making me sit upright,
“I don't care about other things, but you have my full support in fighting for your son's custody.”
I never expected that. And as if consumed by something mighty, I became more desperate to have my child, and willing to do anything for that to happen, I have my greatest support, my mom.