The Distinct BloodBorne

BloodBorne: 8

HOURS have passed since the party has started. I couldn't bring myself near Araya since I am so scared to tell her what I want. I know this is so hard for me, and I also know that Araya will be furious once she finds out I want to leave our home.

I changed my gaze and looked at Az. She moved her head in my Mother's direction.

"What do you want me to do?" I mouthed and looked at my Mom, who is busy talking with the other beasts, "I can't. I am scared."

Az looked at me with disbelief. She couldn't believe my actions, I know, I have been talking about this today, and I was really confident about this, but now that my Mom is near me, I am getting chills.

Az marched towards me and held my hand, "What are you waiting for? Go on and talk to your Mother," she said and sighed, "I know you are worried about her, not letting you go, but you have to be brave."

I looked at my Mom again, and my heart started to beat really fast. I can't do this, no matter what I do. I know I can't face my Mom and tell her that I want to go. It is my birthday, and Mom looks so happy and proud. I don't want to ruin this day for her; she is having fun.

"I know. I am a coward again," I said.

"At least, you knew," Az said and rolled her eyes, "You can never tell what will happen unless you try. I know that Araya will understand. She loves you."

That's the whole point, Araya loves me so much that she does not want me to go anywhere far from her. I tried to venture out to the forest, and I got home almost midnight, and that is the first time I saw Araya got mad.

I'm not too fond of it when she is mad.

No one can control her, even my Dad.

I inhaled deeply and looked at Az. She smiled at me proudly before she walks closely, "I understand how you feel, and I know that this isn't easy for you. However, if you really want to do this, be brave. No one can ask this, not even me. You are the only one who can do this."

I think she is right. I should be brave. If Araya doesn't want me to venture out of the forest, how will I grow? How will I know how the outside world looks like?

I want to know.

I want to see it.

I want to find those kinds who look like me.

I looked around, and suddenly I feel sad. These beasts love me so much, these beasts protect me like I am one of them, and I can't stay in this place forever. I also need to find myself, and I want to discover new things, not just in this forest.

"Thank you," I said to Az and looked at her, "You have been such a good friend to me. You are the best and forever will be the best friend I ever had."

"Of course, I know that already. We don't need to do some drama here, right? I wouldn't say I like this kind of stuff. Too cheesy for me," she said and rolled her eyes.

"Az!"

Az and I looked at the girl who called her. It's her Mom, Jic.

"What!" She shouted. Az's Mom furrowed.

"I think that was a bad idea, Az," I said and giggled.

"Yah! Don't laugh at me, help me!" She pleaded and looked me in the eyes, "I am sure that I will be dead."

"Well, It is your fault. You shouted at her," I replied.

"Whatever. I have to go. You should tell me what happens to your conversation with your Mother, alright?" Jic said before she waved her goodbye.

I nodded as a response and waved at her as well. While I was busy looking at Az's back, someone pushed me from behind, which causes me to turn around.

"Mom?" I said.

"What are you doing?" She asked, "Aren't you having fun?"

Suddenly, sadness flashed through her eyes. She may be worried that I am not enjoying the surprise.

"I am," I said and smiled at her.

"Then why do you look so worried and sad?" She asked and sat beside me.

The other beasts are so busy with their businesses. Some are busy eating, and some of them are just talking to each other.

"Am I?" I asked, "I am sorry, Mother."

She looked at me in the eyes and placed her head on my lap, "Is something bothering you? What is wrong? You can tell, Mom."

Should I tell her? Should I tell her everything that I want? Should I tell her that I want to venture out of this forest? Or should I just keep quiet?

I don't know. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. What I want is something that I know Mom could never agree on.

"Honey," she called, "If there is anything you want to tell me, please, be open. I will try my best to understand."

I can't help myself but smile. Maybe, it is the right thing to do. Maybe, telling her would be the better choice for us. If she will agree, then that's nice. If not, then it is over.

"I—I actually want to ask something for my birthday," I said and sighed heavily.

"What is it? Do you need anything? Name it?" She replied and sat down.

"I know that you will never agree on this, and I understand. However, I want to take a shot. I want to know if this is okay with you. I can't keep this anymore," I explained, "What I want for my birthday is to have your permission."

"Permission to what?" She asked.

She looked at me with confusion while titled her head to the side. Araya is curious.

"To let me go out in the forest and venture on my own," I replied.

After what I have said, an awkward silence passed between us. I can't see any reactions from her eyes. It seems like she has been expecting this.

Minutes have passed, but she didn't respond at all. She just looked at me, and after a while, she turned around and left me dumbfounded.

"Mom?" I called her name, but she didn't respond. Instead, she walked as if nothing happened, and we didn't talk.

I guess that was the answer to my question. There is no chance to be out of this forest. Maybe I will stay in this place forever, with my Mother and Father.

"How was it?"

I turned around to see Az. She looked at me with excitement in her eyes. I didn't notice, a tear from my eye fell.

"O my goddesses," Az said and walked closely, "She didn't allow you, did she?"

"I really think that going out in this forest is a big joke. I thought, if I am already 18 I will have the right to leave this place and discover new things but I think it is really impossible," I turned my back at her and walks towards the direction to my house.

I don't want to stay at the party anymore. I have no energy to do so. They can have fun without me, I guess it would be the best idea if I just go to bed early.

"Why do I keep crying?" I asked myself while wiping the tears that keeps falling down my cheeks, "Quit it! We can't do anything about it anymore. Mother doesn't want me to go out, and we don't have a choice."

I looked up in the sky and a shooting star passed by.

If only that wishing stars were true, my wish should have been granted by now. This is nothing but a mere imaginary.

I ran towards my house as fast as I could. When I arrived, I immediately went to my bed and curled up.

Why can't I go out? Why?