Shattered Window

Chapter 22: A Wingman Appears and Pierces the Ambiguous Bubble

After Qian Liang's meal, Lin Yuanzhou was depressed for two days. It wasn't the kind of depression where he gave up — it was the kind where he shoved all his emotions down and went through the motions. Cook noodles in the morning, deliver orders in the evening, come home and draw, exchange no more than ten words with Shen Zhi. Shen Zhi didn't ask many questions either. The two of them just endured each other blandly.

Saturday afternoon, Tina came.

When she pushed open the bookstore door, Yuanzhou happened to be downstairs taking out the trash. They ran into each other. Tina looked him up and down.

"You've lost weight, huh?" she asked.

"Have I?"

"Yeah, your eye sockets are hollow." Tina leaned in closer. "Did you and Zhizhi have a fight?"

"No."

"Then you're both sick." With that, Tina clomped upstairs.

Yuanzhou followed her. Shen Zhi was sitting in the living room reading. When she saw Tina come up, her brow furrowed.

"Why are you here again?" Shen Zhi asked.

"To see if you're dead yet." Tina plopped down on the sofa and noticed the two glasses of water on the coffee table — one Shen Zhi's, one Yuanzhou's, sitting side by side. Her eyes lit up, but she didn't say anything.

Yuanzhou sat at the other end of the sofa, picked up his notebook, and started drawing. Tina looked at him, then at Shen Zhi, and a slow smile spread across her face.

"So, is this how you two usually hang out?"

"What else would we do?" Shen Zhi turned a page.

"Not talk?"

"We talk. You just got here — you didn't hear it."

Tina rolled her eyes. She stood up, walked to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. "Your fridge is empty, you know that? Eggs, noodles, soy sauce — that's it? Are you two living together or serving a prison sentence?"

"Enough to get by," Yuanzhou said without looking up.

"That won't do." Tina closed the fridge and turned to face them both. "I'm cooking tonight. Neither of you is allowed to say no."

Shen Zhi put down her book. "You can cook?"

"No. But I can buy groceries. I'll buy groceries, and then you'll cook." Tina pointed at Yuanzhou.

Yuanzhou blinked. "Why me?"

"Because you like Zhizhi, and you want to show off." Tina said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The living room went quiet. Shen Zhi's fingers stopped on her book page. Yuanzhou's pen stopped too.

"What are you talking about?" Shen Zhi was the first to speak, her voice a little tight.

"Just speaking the truth." Tina looked innocent. "Aren't you two tired of holding back all the time? One buys knee pads, the other buys soy sauce. One builds a bookshelf, the other treats to Thai food. One says 'don't go,' the other says 'there will be a way.' I'm exhausted for you."

Yuanzhou glanced at Shen Zhi. Shen Zhi wasn't looking at him — she was staring at Tina with a look that could kill.

"Are you leaving or not?" Shen Zhi said.

"No. Not until we eat." Tina leaned back on the sofa and stayed put.

Yuanzhou looked back down at his drawing, but his ears were pricked up, and his heart was beating faster than usual. Shen Zhi stopped talking too. The living room fell silent except for Tina's constant chatter.

"Zhizhi, who made this bookshelf?" Tina asked, already knowing the answer.

"He did." Shen Zhi didn't look up.

"Pretty. Curved. Why didn't you ask me to make it?"

"Do you know how?"

"No. But I know how to compliment." Tina stood up, walked to the bookshelf, and touched it. "Lin Yuanzhou, your craftsmanship is pretty good. Even if you can't be an architect, you can be a carpenter. You won't starve."

Yuanzhou didn't respond.

"Do you two have any plans for the weekend?" Tina asked again.

"No." Both of them answered at almost the same time.

Tina laughed. "Perfect. The weather's supposed to be nice tomorrow. Let's go to Alki Beach? Seattle doesn't get many sunny days — don't waste it."

"I'm not going," Shen Zhi said.

"I wasn't asking you." Tina looked at Yuanzhou. "Are you going?"

Yuanzhou glanced at Shen Zhi. Shen Zhi was looking down, the tips of her ears a little red. He hesitated. "If she's not going, I'm not going."

"Then don't go," Shen Zhi looked up. "We're not attached at the hip."

"See, see, here you go again." Tina slapped her thigh. "When are you two going to stop being so awkward? You both clearly want to be together, but you pretend to be just roommates. Is this how roommates act? Staying up all night by someone with a fever? Spending seventy dollars on knee pads? Doing—"

"Tina." Shen Zhi interrupted her. Not loud, but very cold.

Tina shut her mouth. She looked at Shen Zhi's expression and sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll stop. Keep holding back if you want. Hold back until Lin Yuanzhou's visa expires, until he goes back to China, and then you'll both be comfortable."

Those words were like a bucket of ice water. The living room went quiet again.

Shen Zhi's fingers began to tremble, but she raised her book higher to hide her face. Yuanzhou stared at his notebook, unable to draw another stroke.

Tina stood there for a while, then softened her tone. "I'm not trying to poke at you. I just think... you two finally found each other. Don't let it slip away just because neither of you wants to speak first."

She picked up her bag. "I'm going to buy groceries. You two wait here. Tonight I'll make Lin Yuanzhou cook, and you'll have a good meal."

Then she was gone. The wind chime rang once. Then silence.

Lin Yuanzhou and Shen Zhi sat in the living room, a few meters apart. Neither spoke.

After a long time, Shen Zhi spoke first. "Don't listen to her. She talks too much, and she says whatever comes into her head."

"Yeah."

"That beach... do you want to go?"

Yuanzhou looked up. Shen Zhi's eyes were still on her book, but the book was upside down.

"Do you want to go?" he asked back.

Shen Zhi was quiet for a few seconds. "Whatever."

"Whatever" again. But this time it wasn't "leave me alone." It was "I want to go but I can't say it."

"Then let's go," Yuanzhou said.

Shen Zhi turned her book right side up — finally realizing it had been upside down. She said "yeah," stood up, and went back to her room. The door closed, but not all the way — a crack remained.

Yuanzhou leaned back on the sofa, the corner of his mouth slowly lifting.

—

When Tina came back from buying groceries, she was carrying five or six bags. Yuanzhou went to the kitchen to look — pork ribs, fish, tofu, vegetables, eggs, ginger, garlic, scallions, and even a bag of rice.

"Is this a dinner party or New Year's Eve?" Yuanzhou asked.

"Just improving your diet." Tina tossed him an apron. "You cook. I'll be your sous‑chef."

Shen Zhi came out of her room too and stood in the kitchen doorway watching them bustle around. Tina turned and yelled at her, "Don't just stand there — come peel garlic."

"I don't want garlic."

"Then just stand there and watch. Watch your man cook for you."

"Tina!" Shen Zhi's face turned red.

Yuanzhou kept his back to them, pretending not to hear, but the knife in his hand nearly slipped and cut his finger.

—

When the food was ready, it was already dark outside. The three of them sat around the coffee table — the ribs were tender, the fish was perfectly steamed, the greens were crisp. Tina tasted each dish and gave a thumbs up.

"Lin Yuanzhou, you should just open a restaurant. Better than delivering food."

"He's not a cook," Shen Zhi said quietly, picking up a rib.

"Then what is he?" Tina pressed.

Shen Zhi didn't answer. She ate in silence.

Tina looked at her, then at Yuanzhou, and raised her water glass. "Cheers. Wishing you two a fun time at the beach tomorrow."

"I didn't say I was going," Shen Zhi said.

"You did. 'Whatever' means yes." Tina winked.

Shen Zhi didn't argue. She raised her glass and clinked it against Tina's. Yuanzhou raised his too. The three of them clinked, splashing a little water.

After the meal, Tina insisted on washing the dishes, then grabbed her bag and headed for the door. At the door, she turned back and looked at them.

"Take care of yourselves, you two. Lin Yuanzhou, about your visa — find someone to help you, don't tough it out alone. Zhizhi, stop holding back. Speak up when you need to." She smiled. "I'm going now. Don't see me out tomorrow."

The wind chime rang. She was gone.

The living room was left with just the two of them.

Yuanzhou sat on the sofa. Shen Zhi sat at the other end. Their water glasses still stood side by side on the coffee table, both half‑drunk.

"What time tomorrow?" Yuanzhou asked.

"What time for what?"

"The beach."

Shen Zhi was silent for two seconds. "Ten. Too late and it gets crowded."

"Okay."

The two of them fell silent again. But this silence wasn't cold, wasn't awkward. It was the kind where — they both knew the other had something on their mind, but neither was in a hurry to say it.

Yuanzhou picked up his notebook, flipped to the last page, and wrote: "Tina came by today and broke the paper barrier. She said we're both holding back. She said 'you finally found each other, don't let it slip away.' Tomorrow I'm going to Alki Beach with Shen Zhi. Seattle is supposed to be sunny."

He closed the notebook and looked at Shen Zhi. She was still sitting on the sofa, holding that upside‑down book — now right‑side up, but she hadn't turned a single page.

"Did you finish it?" Yuanzhou asked.

"Finish what?"

"That page. You've been staring at it for a long time."

Shen Zhi closed the book. "Yes."

"What's it about?"

"Not telling you."

She stood up, took her water glass, and went back to her room. The door closed — but differently from before. This time it closed softly, as if afraid of disturbing something.

Yuanzhou sat on the sofa, smiling.

Outside, the rain had finally stopped. A crack opened in Seattle's sky, and moonlight seeped through, thin as a layer of gauze. He stood up, walked to the window, and looked out at the wet streets.

Tomorrow would be sunny.

He thought: he'd been in Seattle this long and had never seen the ocean in sunlight.