Loving our scared Hearts

Chapter 1

Episode one

SARA'S POV 

" You are out of your mind, Sara. "Staying outside the country does not make you better than the rest of us" Jay burst from the other end of the phone and I listened calmly with my hand tucked in the pocket of my formal pants.

" Are you done Jay ? " I asked, and he scoffed from the other end. I can imagine him frowning in annoyance.

" Tell your mother that I am not coming home this month. "I have nothing to do there, my schedule is tight" I muttered under my breath as my eyes scanned the files I had on my desk.

"We want money for our mother's treatment." Sara, is it when she dies you will learn to move past the things that have already happened? He asked and I chuckled bitterly.

" Why does the money need to come from my pocket, Jay?"" I thought you were the ideal son ? "Whatever happened to her husband ? " I asked sarcastically.

" Sara , he muttered under his breath in frustration.  Jay ""I called back and he sighed. I heard the beep sound from my phone and I realized he had ended the call. Sitting down in my armchair, I slowly loosened my tie from my neck. My mind went over to the conversation I just had with my older brother and I chuckled bitterly.

Mother ?

A mother is the female parent of a child. The one who carries the child for nine months in her womb, loves and nutures the child into adulthood. A mother is someone who is ready to sacrifice for the happiness of her children. But I guess my mother did not know the definition of motherhood before entering into it.

I am Sara Shebly, twenty-six-year-old, Female CEO of the year. One of the top ten most successful business people. I was fondly called wedding magic by my clients due to my ability to plan any wedding to perfection even at short notice.

I'm a perfectionist, and a neatness freak. I'm not the relationship type. I'm in for the fun and when things try to get serious I'm out. I mean, why can't two mature adults enjoy each other's company ? Why does marriage have to come into the equation?

Marriage and serious commitments do nothing to a man and a woman other than to complicate things. If not for s*x, why do I even need a man in my life? People might find it ironic that I am a wedding planner, yet I don't believe in marriage.

How can I believe in the union of marriage? When I watched my parents show me every day how terrible it was to get married, I rubbed my neck at the feeling of hurt that spread through my chest.

I am a British girl. I grew up in a family of four in the ghettos in summerhouse.

The ghettos are not a place to be. I grew up in the midst of chaos, bloodshed and pain. My dad was an irresponsible man and my mom followed suit. They will spend their days fighting without a thought of the effect that will have on their children. 

" You can go ahead and spend your nights at Madam Bose. "Go and drink yourself to stupor Ethan ! " Mom spat angrily as she walked out of the room, adjusting the piece of clothing around her slender waist.

" Yes Caro . I would drink myself to stupor. "After all, it's better than seeing your stupid face !" Dad spat angrily and, just like that, another episode began. Sometimes the arguments ended in fights that involved the neighbors. 

No one cared about the kids. No one cared about the fact that Jay and I had to go to school, or the fact that they had obligations in our lives to fulfill as parents. I started seeing myself through school at an age where other children were still enjoying the benefits that came with being independent. 

Dad died while I was still in my junior year in high school. I came back home from school, just to see the neighbors at our house. Mom was crying dramatically as the neighbors consoled her. I stared at the crowd, wondering what had happened in my absence.

" Ethan ! Mom screamed his name with both hands akimbo. Jay walked over to me and engulfed me in a hug.

" What happened, Jay ? Where's Dad ? " Why are the neighbors gathered here ? " I asked, and I could feel Jay break down as he pulled me closer.

" Dad is dead, Sara. "He was involved in a street fight and got murdered in the process," Jay said, and his words echoed in my ears as I felt numb. I wanted to cry, scream or feel something, but it was of no use, because I felt empty.

“Hmmm ummm” she cleared her throat, "this is your Uncle Dan. " Mom introduced us to an ugly man with an athletic body. I turned to Jay, who stared at the man, then back at me.

Uncle ? How is he our uncle ? I stared at mom in question. It was barely a month since Dad passed away and here she is with a new lover. Dan was nothing like my Dad at first. He would help with the house chores and provide for the family . Something that made me want to understand the reason why mom moved on so early.

But then it was all a facade. Barely two months later, I heard him raising his voice at mom, and it wasn't long before things turned abusive. It got to the point where Jay and I became subject to his physical abuse. He would hit us and then treat us himself, yet mom refused to send him away.

" Stop being a nuisance, Sara. " It is normal for a man to hit his woman. " One day you will grow up and understand, ""Mom said, and I stared at her in disbelief." It's not normal mom, Dan hits Jay and me. That is called physical abuse. " Why can't you protect us for once? ""I asked as my voice shook with hurt. 

All attempts to make Mom leave Mr Dan failed. In fact, we only fueled their desire to remain in that relationship. I was not a fan of Dan. I hated the lustful looks he threw at me even when my breasts had not rounded. I was supposed to be his daughter. Why then did he always grab my backside and lick his lips when my mom wasn't looking?

" Mom, I don't like the way Mr Dan grabs my backside. I reported to my mother in Mr Dan’s absence. 

" What is the problem with you? ""Child, Sara! "" Do you want to end my marriage before it even begins properly? ""Dan is your father, he is not that kind of man and would never think of taking advantage of you. "" She spat, and I stared at her in shock.

" You better not say this to anyone. ""Not even Jay, not Sara! ""She said at the top of her voice.

And just like that, I never spoke about it again. Not when Dan bared his weight on me, I tried to fight for myself and mom sent me away to a rich friend.

Madam Rosa was an event planner with a bad mind. She would pick offense at the slightest mistakes and make my life a living hell. Her husband was a rich businessman who liked anything under skirt.

I was done being a good girl. I stopped being a good girl when everyone I trusted failed me. I played my game nicely and saw myself through university and even did my masters in South Africa. Building myself from the dust, I have become hard towards life.

And now mom and Jay think I should be merciful towards them. I have always been alone in a one-man squad. Why should I even help her ? I scoffed in annoyance.

My best friends are the closest I have to a family right now. I live my life on my own terms. Work and more work, that's all I care about right now. Time is too precious, time is money. Money is power.

"Good morning Miss Shelby," my personal assistant said as he stared at his feet nervously.

" Good morning Andie, have you heard anything from Mr Lyon's assistant ? I asked in annoyance.

""They have not replied to the emails yet, ma'am. ""But I promise to report to you immediately when I get a reply. ""He said and I frowned.

My best friend Imani Lerato is getting married to the love of her life, Leonardo Delgado. And I'm the wedding planner. Of course, the problem here is the fact that the chef that is supposed to take over everything concerning the foods at the event, has decided to give me a hard time.

Leonardo recommended one of his best friends, who is a chef. He wants no one but his friend. If he wasn't connected to the groom, I would scrap him out of my event immediately, I thought in annoyance.

""What is he feeling like ? ""I muttered under my breath in annoyance.

""Ma'am, have you tried contacting him yourself ? Andie asked and I looked away in frustration.

" That man is an arrogant peacock Andie. Whatever his reasons were for not showing up for our meeting. "He could have at least called to apologize," I said angrily.

"Maybe he was busy" Andie said, and shut up immediately his eyes met mine.

" It was a slip of the tongue ma'am," he said in horror.

" The next time your tongue goes in the wrong direction, you will see yourself jobless "I said angrily.

I stormed out of the office.