Alliance of Shadows: NEIL

Persistence's Pay-Off

Izzy pushed back her chair, and I realized that she’d somehow managed more than half of the food from her plate. Dabbing her mouth with a napkin, she said, “I need to clean my room.”

Smiling with pride, I excused myself to make sure she didn’t decide to go throw everything up again. I couldn’t risk letting three days of consistently hard work end in a moment. Not when I held the power to stop her, to help her see reason and reality for what they were.

When I got to her room, I let myself in with the key she’d gifted me the day before. I found her lying on her side in bed, the strong smell her tears hanging in the air, but there was no scent revisited supper. I gently pulled her into my lap, cradling her in my arms as I asked, “What’s wrong? Talk to me. Let me help you figure it out, Izaria.”

She said nothing. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she cried. When she finally calmed down enough to talk, she said, “It hurts so much. I know that they can't hurt me anymore, and I’m trying to be strong, but it stings, Neil. I don’t know how to handle anyone being nice to me, and it scares me that you might turn on me, too. I just… I’m scared.”

My heart constricted with anger, but it wasn't directed at her. I forced myself to stay as calm as I could as I nodded. She was opening up to me, and that was huge for her considering she only lived with us for a year at that point. Hell, she'd only known me for a few days, if I was being honest. “When you dropped the beer this evening, did that trigger a memory?”

She nodded. "I don't mean to be a burden. I feel like I can’t do anything right at all. I’m just waiting for the day that Henry and Aunt Clara tell me to ship out."

"You're not a burden, Izzy," I told her, my heart breaking a little more for the child in her that never knew true parental love after her father’s death. Her fear of rejection was real, and so was mine. "I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again. Dad and Clara would never turn you out for no reason, either."

An idea suddenly hit me, and I scanned her room for a mirror. I resorted to growling when I didn't see one. What kind of girl doesn't own a damn mirror? Pulling her into my en suite bathroom, I forced her to look at her reflection. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Tell me what you see.”

She glared at her image, and it made me understand why she didn’t have a mirror. It would have just been one more thing for her to fight against. “I see a stupid, fat, and ugly freak that can't do anything right and will forever be alone.”

Her response broke my heart. For a fleeting moment in time, I felt like I had failed her. I shook my head to clear the dark thoughts that invaded my mind. As long as I felt like I was being useful and good, the darkness inside me stayed away. As long as I finally had my precious Mate, I would try to find a way to always look on the bright side now. I would try harder, especially with my training. She needed me at my best. At my sharpest, and I couldn’t do that thinking life was against me from day one.

‘Everything in our world happens because of the will of beings beyond our power.’ The words Rowan Cage once said to me a long time ago echoed in my mind. Words said when I was trying to reconcile my mother’s death. ‘When they take things away, it isn’t to hurt us, but to teach us to live with grief.’

I needed to touch base with everyone. My friends I’d forgotten in the chaos of my life had never forgotten me. They just gave me the room I needed to grow up and see where I stood: a half step from ending everything.

“That’s where you're wrong,” I said as I stood behind her. "I don't see any of those things. What I see is a graceful, beautiful, sexy young woman. I see is the girl who stole my heart from the first time she smiled at me, and an amazingly talented cook. You are a precious gift to be cherished and loved for the rest of your life. You're not any of the things they made you believe."

She sobbed, shaking as I kissed her shoulder.

"You're strong, spiteful, and sassy. I love how caring you are, and your cooking skills are impressive. I will keep telling you these things until you believe them, Izaria. They didn't see the angel that you are, they never saw or appreciated you or what you can do, and I'm sorry that you suffered, but I'm here now. I am going to protect you, Izzy. I promise.” I could see the conflict in her eyes as she struggled to see what I did.

Planting more kisses on her shoulder, I looped my arms around her waist. She moaned, leaning on me as I tipped her face upwards so I could capture her quivering lips in a tender kiss. Taking her back to the main room, I sat on the bed and pulled her with me.

She curled into my chest, sobbing quietly. "Did you mean it, Neil?"

"Every word," I replied. It surprised me how easily I told her the truth. It shocked the hell out of me when I opened up like it wasn't the absolute hardest thing on the planet to do. Huffing a laugh, I whispered, "You know, we never did get that ice cream you wanted. Granted, it might have been a lie, but would you like to go grab some now? Just the two of us."

She fell quiet for a moment before a shy smile spread across her face. "I'd like that. Are you sure this is okay? I… I don’t want you to suffer."

Goddess she was the sweetest thing I’d ever held. Her supposedly innate qualities and abilities had been noticed by the pack members who had remained after my father ordered the dispersal during my own battle with depression. They all saw what I was late to catch; that my Mate was a compassionate, helpful, caring person. She was True Luna material, and it made loving her that much easier. Despite the glaring difference in our ages, she was relying on me to help her through the murky waters of despair, and I didn’t want to fail her.

Nodding, I released her from my hold and watched her walk into her room. Someone had sent me an angel, and, though she may have had broken wings and a fractured mentality, I would be damned if I let her get hurt ever again. I suddenly remembered the forecast and called out for her to dress warm for our outing. I would be fine, but she didn't have the benefit of a Werewolf's body temp.

Wrestling with the decision to talk to Clara, I grabbed my jacket and made my way to her office. When I got there, she motioned for me to sit down while she snapped at someone on the phone. Nodding quietly, I sat across from her as she reamed some unknown over the phone. Her legal jargon tended to make others feel inadequate.

"My niece has all the requirements, regardless of what the board wants or thinks is best for her. She just lost her mother and is going through a lot right now. I would appreciate some understanding. As I see it, you have two options: One, allow her to take the exams, or two, I will take this case to the Supreme Court." She paused, listening. I could hear the man on the other end frantically making excuses. "Oh, good, you can see reason. Give me two or three months to get her up to par with her physical and mental state. I will call you when she's ready."

Hanging up, she grinned at me. "Don't you just love the fact that I'm your stepmom?"

"As long as you never prosecute me, I'm sure we'll be fine," I replied. My smile fell from my face, and I stared at her. Taking a breath, I braced myself to open up to her for the first time even. "Clara, I wasn't kidding when I said I loved her. However, I need to confess something."

The woman across from me scowled but said nothing as she nodded for me to continue.

"I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I wanted to be absolutely sure that what I felt was real. She's my Mate, Clara," I explained.

“Sorry?” She stared at me, her face a mask of confusion and shock.

"I wasn't sure at first, but I am now. Rejecting her is not an option because it would hurt too damn much to give up what I've been waiting years for. Given her past, I know I have to take my time, but I wouldn't have it any other way." I said.

Her face contorted into one of sympathy. Not the fake stuff, but real, genuine sympathy for my predicament. "Neil, I know how you feel, but you've got to play this by ear. No pressuring her, alright?"

I swallowed, "So, I have the green light?"

She nodded toward the door, "Go, take her out and tread cautiously. She needs to heal, and the bond may help that. When she's well enough, show her your wolf. We take baby steps with my niece, Neil. Baby steps."

"Thank you so much, Clara. You have no idea how happy that makes me," Breathing a sigh of relief, I left the office.