Alliance of Shadows: NEIL

Morning Regrets

When I finally came to a few hours later, the only sounds I could make out were Izaria’s breathing and the chirping of various breeds of bird life. No longer feeling her soft figure by my side, my eyes flew open as I propped myself up on my elbows only to see her sitting on the edge of the bed with something in her hands.

On closer inspection, it my cell phone.

Moving behind her, I read the message over her shoulder only to growl in frustration. Unfortunately, it was about that stupid bet I made with my “friend” John. Yes, the same guy that caused me a world of trouble in high school. Except, we weren’t in high school anymore, and she wasn’t the adult girl I was initially expecting to have move in.

Apparently, though I had forgotten it, brushing it off once I knew her actual age, he had not. Groaning, I knew that any chances I had with her likely ended because of a single text.

The smell of her tears made my heart ache fiercely. Then, she muttered, “I should have known I was nothing more than a stupid conquest. I thought that, just maybe, I could trust someone for once. That I could trust you, but I guess I was wrong.”

I grabbed the phone from her hands, forcing her to the bed in a sorry attempt to make her listen to me. “Izaria, stop. Let me explain.”

She struggled, but I was a lot stronger than her, even on my worst day. She could have screamed, but a quick look at the clock made me realize my father and Clara were already gone to their respective workplaces. On top of that, we lived so far out in the country our nearest neighbour was almost four kilometres away. She stared up at me with those big blue eyes of hers. Her chest was rising and falling with each breath she took. “Let. Go.”

“Would you please just listen to me?” I pleaded. Man, I hated begging, but I needed her to understand. I needed her to hear me out before this crap got too out of hand.

Shocked, my eyes widened as a sound similar to a growl escaped her clenched teeth. I wanted to laugh, but I wanted to be angry at the same time. I wanted to make her…

What? Pay for an imaginary crime she didn’t commit? Oh wait, invasion of privacy was a crime, wasn’t it? Maybe I should be more reasonable about this. I needed to come clean, or I'd lose her. Goddess, why was my life so cursed?

My train of thought derailed right then and there as I pinned her arms above her head. The action had caused her tank top to ride up, exposing her stomach. Looking down, I licked my dry lips as I willed my saliva to dampen my now dry-as-a-bone throat. Hardening at the sight of the bared flesh that I had touched and tasted the night before. She still carried the faint scent of strawberries and cream body wash from the bath she had after we’d slept together.

She gasped, her entire body tensing as my free hand moved slightly, my fingertips lightly brushing against the soft skin of her belly. I found myself suddenly becoming hyper-aware of her on a more intimate level. My eyes darkened slightly as her lips parted enough that she could suck in a hiss of breath through her teeth as my hand on her stomach travelled to caress her hip. She wasn’t just beautiful.

Everything about her screamed au naturelle from the crown of her mahogany curls to the tips of her unpainted toenails, too. I had never seen her wear make-up or use expensive beauty products like the other girls her age. Hell, I didn’t even know if she owned any. She had well-rounded hips, and I knew her backside was firm from the way I grabbed it the night before. Her thighs touched at the top, near the juncture of her core rather than the Barbie doll look most went for, and her legs tapered off into a set of delicate ankles and dainty feet. Absently wondering what her shoe size was, I let my gaze travel the length of her body before lowering my head to her neck. Inhaling her scent, I committed it to memory.

She started to tremble, and it was not from pleasure.

I lifted my head to look at her. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears that made them look like twin pools of liquid sapphire. Fear had replaced the fleeting moment of courage she’d tried to hold onto, now doused by my reaction to her earlier words. “Izaria?”

“Please, don’t,” She whispered, her breathing turning to short, sharp gasps as she made a desperate attempt to keep herself calm. “I won’t touch your things again. I swear.”

My entire world stopped as her words sunk in. The power of that one statement snapped me back to reality, and I put myself in her place for just a second. She had been unforgivably hurt in the past. Especially for her to think I was that level of evil. I looked down at her and grimaced at the tears that glistened on her now ghostly pale cheeks. Mentally cursing myself for scaring her, I relaxed the grip I had on her wrists. Slipping my arms under her as I dropped to the bed, I pulled her to my chest.

“No, don’t think like that. I would never take anything from you without your consent. I promise,” I said. Encircling her waist with one arm, I buried one hand in her mahogany locks and held her head to my chest. What the hell was I thinking, pinning her down like that? Having just woken up was no excuse for my screwed-up behaviour.

I forced her to look at me as I gently wiped away the few tears that leaked from the corners of her eyes, trailing over her cheeks. “I’m mad that you went through my phone, yes, but I need you to let me explain what’s going on before you blow up at me.”

I waited patiently for her reply, for anything to let me know she was willing to listen to my side of the story instead of what the text told her was going on. Then, after a few minutes, she nodded for me to go on.

My mistake had cost me, but I was ready to take responsibility for it. I admitted to my wrongdoing. Explaining everything as best as I could. “It’s not what you think. That stupid bet was made before I knew how old you were. I assumed, without bothering to find out, that you would have been around eighteen. It slipped my mind to let him know the bet was off when I found out you were only sixteen when you moved in.”

She pleaded with me between sobs, begging me not to tell him anything that happened between us the night before. “God, my aunt’s reputation would be shredded! Please, Neil, you can’t tell him. I didn’t mean to cause trouble for Aunt Clara.”

“You won’t, because I’ll lie, Izaria. I’ll tell him I couldn’t do it,” I whispered. The lingering feeling of regret was giving me a good run for my money. “I… I never meant to let it go that far last night. Should have stopped myself, really, but I… I was stupid.”

Izaria stopped. Everything was suddenly too still, too quiet. Her soft sniffle broke the tense silence, “You would do that for me?”

“Yeah,” I murmured against her hair. “I would. Besides, no one would think twice about putting me down to protect you. I need to atone for last evening, anyway.”

“But I played a part in that,” she said breathlessly. Grappling with her version of the truth, she searched my face. “N-Neil?”

My jaw clenched, “Izaria, I’m older. Had I used an iota of common sense, I would have walked after you kissed me, but I didn’t. Society kind of frowns on things like an emotionally wrecked girl sleeping with a guy a few months shy of four years older.”

Her brows furrowed, “I… I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you get?” I asked, temporarily amused by her confusion. What? Not in a heartless way, of course. She was acting cute, and it was, well, amusing.

“Why protect me?” She asked, a mix of resignation and curiosity lending light to her eyes.

I breathed a short laugh. “Look, I’ve had a lot happen to me in a short time, and you got tossed into the mix without warning. I didn’t actually want to get close to you. I wanted to keep my distance and just let the void between us grow. I really did visit you last night to say I was sorry for treating you like a pariah, and everything that happened after I did that falls squarely on me.”

“But…”

“Izaria,” I murmured, cutting her off. “I’m the adult here. I should have been the one to pull back, to stop before it got too far, but I didn’t. Not even my father would blame you for my mistake.”

A light pink tint coloured her unblemished face. Her upper teeth bit down on her lip, trapping and rolling it between the sets of pearly whites. “Henry’s kind of scary.”

“Nah, Dad’s only a hardass with me cause I never really listen to him,” I answered, relaxing when she giggled softly. “Everyone else get’s the nice guy, while I’m stuck in a trap of my own making and getting clipped up side the head every time I screw up.”