Beyond Her Beauty

CHAPTER 5 (Plan ✓)

“Lady Selena, are you saying that the number of male taken in the next draft should be raised? In short — the quantities are very sufficient?”

Sally Crane — she was the moderator of discussions on the Milléa Capital Report and the only moderator who ever interviewed the royals.

Elite debates on reports were actually tested, and we knew it. Even the Prince knew that we didn't have a timeline. The public was hungry for the narrow field;and I sensed Kaden's dear King and Queen felt it too.

If we wanted to stay here — we had to perform, we needed to follow them. I was glad I’d made it through that awful report about the soldiers. I remembered some of the statistics, so I stood a decent chance of making a good impression tonight.

“Exactly, Sally. The war in Asian has been going on for years. We need to find a solution before it's too late.”

I really couldn’t stand when Selena’s around. She’d made one of the girls kick out, ruined Kriesha’s 19th birthday last week, and literally tried to rip my soft thin dress off my back. She literally pain for me. And the fact that I felt she was one of my struggles. To be honest, I didn’t have an opinion about the number of soldiers Milléa had before.

But for now that I knew Selena’s, I was unwaveringly opposed.

“I disagree, Sally Crane,” I said in a soft tone like a normal novel. Selena turned my way, her dark plain hair whipping over her shoulder, bouncing and waving a little. With her back to the camera, she felt perfectly comfortable blatantly glaring at me since she seemed to cam with that position.

“Oh, Lady Lily, you think increasing the numbers is a bad idea? Hmmm?” Sally asked me.

I felt the heat of a blush on my cheeks expose. “Twos can afford to pay their way out of the draft, so I’m sure Lady Selena has never seen what it does when families lose their only sons. Taking more would be devastating, particularly for the lowest castes, who tend to have larger families and need every member to work in order to survive.”

My sister beside me, gave me a friendly nudge. I felt her cheering.

Selena took over. “Well, then what should we do? Certainly you aren’t suggesting that we sit back and let these wars drag on? Do you think it's just too easy to do that? Oh, Lily, fiction painting never exists in real life, just like the way you explain. In short, imposible. ”

“No, no. Of course I want Milléa to be done with the war.” I paused to gather my thoughts and looked across at Kaden for some sort of support. Next to him, the king looked peeved. Oh gosh, now I need to be concrete.

I needed to switch directions, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “What if it was voluntary?”

“Voluntary?” Sally repeated what I said.

Selena and Natalie chuckled, which made it worse. But then I thought about it. Was it such a terrible idea? But I'm confident with my answer.

“Yes. I’m sure there would need to be certain requirements, but perhaps we’d get more out of an army of men who wanted to be soldiers as opposed to boys who were only doing what it took to stay alive and get back to the life they left behind.”

A hush of consideration fell on the studio. Apparently, I’d made a point. They might have laughed at my explanation but I delivered it properly. Now it depends on them how they understand it.

“That’s a good idea,” Elise chimed in. “Then we’d also be sending out new soldiers every month or two as people sign up. It might be invigorating to the men who’ve been serving awhile.”

“I agree,” Liezel added, which was usually the extent of her comments. She clearly wasn’t comfortable in debate situations but we have to be ready for this war if ever.

“Well, I know this might sound a little modern, but what if it was open to women?” Kriesha commented.

Selena loud sarcastically. “Who do you think would sign up? Would you be heading into the battlefield?” Her voice dripped with an insulting disbelief.

Kriesha kept her head together. “No, I’m not soldier material. But,” she continued, to Sally, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being in the Selection, it’s that some girls have a frightening killer instinct. Don’t let the ball gowns fool you,” she finished with a smile.

Back in my room, I allowed my maids to stay a little later than usual to help me get the pile of pins out of my hair.

“I liked your idea of the army being voluntary,” Mary said, her nimble fingers hard at work.

“Me, too,” Lucy added. “I remember watching my neighbors struggle when their oldest sons were taken. It was almost unbearable when so many didn’t come home.” I could see a dozen memories flash before her eyes. I had some of my own.

I delivered well. Yes.

“I know,” I said to Lucy’s reflection.

“I thought Kriesha went a bit too far,” Marie commented. “Women in battle sounds like a terrible idea.”

I smiled at her prim face as she focused intently on my hair. “According to my dad, women used to—”

A short burst of knocks came at the door, startling all of us.

“I had a thought,” Kaden announced, walking in without waiting for an answer. It appeared we had a standing date Friday nights after the Report.

“Your Majesty,” they said together, Mary dropping pins as she sank into her curtsy.

“Let me help you,” Kaden offered, coming to Mary’s aid.

“It’s all right,” she insisted, blushing fiercely and backing out of the room. Far less subtly than I’m sure she intended, she made wide eyes at Lucy and Marie, begging them to leave with her.

“Oh, um, goodnight, miss,” Lucy said, tugging on the hem of Marie’s uniform to get her to follow.

Once they were gone, Kaden and I both broke down into laughter. I turned to the mirror and continued to work the pins out of my hair.

“They’re a funny lot,” Kaden commented.

“It’s just that they admire you so much, I mean who doesn't?”

Modestly, he waved the compliment away. “Sorry I interrupted,” he said to my reflection.

“It’s fine,” I answered, tugging out the last pin. I ran my fingers through my hair and draped it over my shoulder. “Do I look okay?”

My hair is messy without the pin.

Kaden nodded, staring a little longer than necessary. He came to his senses and spoke. “Anyway, this idea …”

“Do tell.”

“You remember that Halloween thing?”

“Yes. Oh, I still haven’t read the diary. It’s well hidden though,” I promised.

“It’s fine. No one’s looking for it. Anyway, I was thinking. All those books said it fell in October, right?”

“Uhm, a November,”I corrected him.

“Oh, I see, Why don’t we have a Halloween party?”

I spun around. “Really? Oh, Kaden, could we?”

“Would you like that?”

“I would love it!”

“I figure all the Selected girls could have costumes made. The off-duty guards could be spare dance partners since there’s only one of me and it would be unfair to make everyone stand around waiting for a turn. And we could do dancing lessons over the next week or two. You did say there wasn’t much to do during the days sometimes. And candy! We’ll have the best candies made and imported. You, my dear, will be stuffed by the end of the night. We’ll have to roll you off the floor.”

I was mesmerized.

“And we’ll make an announcement, tell the entire country to celebrate. Let the children dress up and go door-to-door doing tricks, like they used to. Your sister will love that, yes?”

Prince Kaden was talking about my youngest sister — Lolita. A 10-year-old kid.

I'm excited.

“Of course she will! Everyone will!”

He deliberated a moment, pursing his lips. “How do you think she would like celebrating here, at the palace?”

I was stunned. “What?”

“At some point in the competition, I’m supposed to meet the parents of the Elite. Might as well have siblings come and do this around a festive time as opposed to waiting—”

His words were cut off by me barreling into his arms. I was so elated by the possibility of seeing May and my parents, I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. He wrapped his arms around my waist and stared into my eyes, his own glittering with delight.

“Do you mean it? Can they really come?”

“Of course,” he answered. “I’ve been longing to meet them, and it’s part of the competition. Anyway, I think it would do all of you good to see your families.”

Once I was sure I wouldn’t cry, I whispered back, “Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome …. I know you love them.”

“I do.”

He chuckled. “And it’s clear you’d do practically anything for them. After all, you stayed in the Selection for them.”

I jerked back, putting space between us so I could see his eyes. There was no judgment there, only shock at my abrupt movement. I couldn’t let this pass though. I had to be absolutely clear.

“Kaden, they were part of the reason I stayed in the beginning, but they’re not why I’m here now. You know that, right? I’m here because …”

“Because?”

I looked at Kaden, his adoring face so hopeful. Say it, Lily. Just tell him.

“Because?” he asked again, this time with an impish smile coming to his lips, which made me soften even more.

I thought about my conversation with Liezel and the way I’d felt the other day when we talked about the Selection. It was hard to think of Kaden as my boyfriend when there were other girls dating him, but he wasn’t just my friend. That hopeful feeling hit me again, the wonder that we might be something special. Kaden was more to me than I’d let myself believe.

I gave him a flirtatious smile before I kissed from the tips of his nose, and started walking toward the door.

“Lily Singer, you get back here.” He ran in front of me, wrapping an arm around my waist as we stood, chest to chest. “Tell me,” he whispered.

I pinched my lips together.

“Fine, then I shall have to rely on other means of communication.”

Without any warning, he kissed me. I felt myself dip backward a bit, completely supported by his arms. I placed my hands on his neck, wanting to hold him to me … and something shifted in my head. The electricity from my body turned on.

Usually when we were alone together, I could block out the other girls. But tonight I thought about the possibility of someone else in my place. Just imagining it: someone else in Kaden’s arms, making him laugh, marrying him … It broke my heart. I couldn’t help it; I started to cry.

“Lily, what’s wrong?”

Such a sweet person.

Lily? The word, so tender and personal, enveloped me. In that moment, any desire I had to fight my feelings for Kaden disappeared. I wanted to be his dear, his darling. I wanted to be Kaden’s alone.

It might mean welcoming a future I never thought I would and saying good-bye to things I never intended to, but the thought of leaving him now wasn’t something I could handle.

It was true that I wasn’t the best candidate for the crown, but I didn’t deserve to be in the running at all if I couldn’t at least be brave enough to confess how I felt.

I sighed, trying to keep my voice steady. “I don’t want to leave all this.”

“If I remember correctly, the first time we met, you said it was like a cage.” He smiled. “It does grow on you, though, doesn’t it?”

I gave my head a small shake. “Sometimes you can be so stupid.” A weak laugh pushed through my choked-up throat.

Kaden let me pull away just enough so I could look into his brown eyes.

“Not the palace, Kaden. I could care less about the clothes or my bed or, believe it or not, the food.”

Kaden laughed. It was no secret how excited I had been about the extravagant meals here.

“It’s you,” I said. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Me?”

I nodded.

“You want me?”

I giggled at his bewildered expression. “That’s what I’m saying.”

He paused a moment. “How—But—What did I do?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I just think that we’d be a good us.”

He smiled slowly. “We’d be a wonderful us.”

Kaden pulled me in, roughly by his standards, and kissed me again. I felt his lips next to mine.

“Are you sure?” he asked, holding me at arm’s length, staring intently at me. “Are you absolutely positive?”

“If you’re sure, I’m sure.”

For a flicker of a second, something changed in his expression. But it passed so quickly, I wondered if it—whatever it was—was even real.

In the very next moment, he led me over to the bed, and we perched on the edge together, holding hands as my head rested on his shoulder. I was expecting him to say something. After all, wasn’t this what he had been waiting for? But there were no words. Every once in a while he’d let out a long sigh, and in that sound alone I could hear how happy he was. That helped me not to feel so anxious.

After a while—perhaps because neither of us knew what to say—Kaden sat up straighter. “I should probably go. If we’re going to add all the families to the celebration, I need to make extra plans.”

I pulled back and smiled, still giddy that I was going to get to hug my mom, dad, and May soon. “Thank you again.”

We stood together, walking toward the door. I held on to his hand tightly. For some reason, I dreaded letting it go. It felt like this whole moment was fragile somehow, and if it shifted too much it might break.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he promised in a whisper, his nose millimeters away from mine. He looked upon me with such adoration that I felt silly for worrying. “You’re astonishing.”

Once he was gone, I closed my eyes and pulled in everything from our short time together: the way he stared at me, the playful smiles, the sweet kisses. I thought about them over and over as I got ready for bed, wondering if Kaden was doing the same thing to them. OVERTHINKING ON.