Beyond Her Beauty

CHAPTER 61(Love√)

“Are you implying that we don’t CARE for him?” Selena barked.

“I know that you don’t Selena.” I honestly said.

“How dare you?” her right eyebrow rose.

“Look, it’s no secret that you want someone with powerful rights. I’m willing to bet you like Kaden well enough, but you’re not totally in love with him. You’re shooting for the crown not for him.”

Without denying it, she turned on Elise. “What about this one? I’ve never seen a speck of emotion out of you?! Perhaps you're asian. How can I tell if you really love him? Show some emotion. Tsk!”

“I’m reserved. You should try it sometime,” Elise fired back quickly. Seeing a spark of anger in Elise made me like her more. “In my family, all marriages are arranged so expect me to show blank emotion since I need more time for him to understand. But whatever it is, I'm claiming the crown if I'm gonna be the new Princess.”

Sympathetically, Kriesha spoke. “That actually sounds kind of sad, Elise. So having this fixed marriage is like a prison for you?”

“It’s not. There are bigger things that I value more than love.” she honestly said.

We stared at Elise, her words echoing.My family is made up of love even though we simply live in the mellow woods. There are things I can’t explain yet and no matter what it is I'm willing to know that. Still, what if there was something more important here than that?

“Well, I’ll say it: I love him,” Kriesha blurted.

I knew it. Kriesha love’s Kaden, she is the only girl with pure intentions. That's my biggest weakness here. I have a secret and Kriesha doesn't. She loves Kaden too. I got pissed when I saw Kaden and Selena flirting before. How can I tell if it's love or not? This is the most hard discussion we made.

“I love him, and I want him to marry me.” she bravely said.

Snapped back into the discussion at hand, I ached to melt into the carpet. What had I started?

“All right, Lily, fess up,” Selena demanded.

I froze, breathing shallowly. It took me a moment to find the right words.

“Kaden knows how I feel, and that’s all that matters.”

She rolled her eyes at my answer but didn’t press any further. No doubt she was worried I would do the same to her if she did.

We stood there, looking at one another. The Selection had been going on for months, and now we could finally see the real lines of competition. We’d all gotten a peek into everyone else’s relationship with Kaden—at least one aspect of it—and could look at them side by side.

Moments later the queen walked in, wishing us a good morning. After curtsying to her, we all retreated. Into corners, into ourselves. Maybe it was always supposed to come to this. There were four girls and one prince, and three of us would be leaving soon with little more than an interesting story of how we spent our fall.

…..

I WAS WRINGING MY HANDS as I paced the downstairs library, trying to put the words together in my head. I knew I needed to explain what had just happened to Kaden before he heard about it from the other girls, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to the conversation.

“Knock, knock,” he said, coming in. He took in my worried expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t get mad,” I warned as he approached.

His pace slowed, and the concerned look on his face became guarded instead. “I’ll try.”

“The girls know I saw you without your shirt on.” I saw the question coming to his lips. “I didn’t say anything about your back,” I vowed. “I wanted to, because now they just think we were in the middle of some big make-out fest that actually we don't.”

He smiled. “It did end up that way right?”

“Don’t joke, Kaden! They hate me right now.”

“They think I'm…. I'm easy to get just for the title… for.. for the honor.”

The light didn’t leave his eyes as he hugged me. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not mad. So long as you kept my secret it's okay, I don’t mind. Though I am a little shocked you told them.”

“Wait… how did it even come up?”

I buried my head in his chest. “I don’t think I can tell you now.”

“Hmm.” His thumb rubbed up and down my back. “I thought we were supposed to be working on our trust.”

“I trust you Lily, and you should do the same. I know it's hard having a bunch of girls here. But can you trust me?”

“We are. I’m asking you to trust that this will only get worse if I tell you.” Maybe I was wrong, but I was pretty sure confessing to Kaden that we were checking out half-dressed, sweaty guards would get us all into some kind of trouble. I just want to stay away from trouble now. King didn't want me, people didn't even vote for me. And now, elite’s hate me.

“Okay,” he finally said. “The girls know you’ve seen me partly undressed. Anything else?”

I hesitated. “They know I was your first kiss. And I know everything you have and haven’t done with them.”

He pulled back. “What?”

“After I let the whole shirtless thong slip, there was a lot of finger-pointing, and everyone came clean. I know you’ve spent plenty of time kissing Selena and that you would have kissed Kriesha long before now if she would have let you. It all came out. Everything came out.” I bowed my head trying to hide my emotion.

He wiped his hand over his face, taking a few paces as he processed this. “So I have absolutely no privacy anymore? None? Because the four of you had to check scores with each other? This is unfair Lily.” His frustration was clear.

Now, he's mad. Oh Lily? What are you even doing?

“I’m sorry, I… I should shut my mouth.” but I try to speak for myself as well. “You know, for someone concerned with honesty, you ought to be grateful.”

He stopped and stared. “I beg your pardon?”

“Everything is out in the open now. We all have a pretty good idea of where we stand, and I, for one, am thankful.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thankful for?”

“If you had told me that Selena and I were at about the same point with you physically, I would never have tried to come on to you like I did last night. Do you know how humiliated I was PRINCE KADEN? ”

He scoffed and started pacing again. “Oh come on Lily, you’ve said and done so many foolish things, I’m surprised you can even be embarrassed anymore…”

Maybe it was because I had been raised with less of an articulate education, but it took a second for the full impact of his words to hit me. Kaden had always liked me, or so he’d said. I knew it was against the better judgment of other people. Was it also against his? I grew up in the Mellow woods. Self study happened to me when I was a child. Mom taught me to read, write, sing. I went to university in high school because I kept a secret. A secret I should keep.

“I’ll go then,” I said quietly, unable to look him in the eye. “Sorry I let the whole shirt thing out.” I started walking away, feeling so small I wondered if he even noticed. I… I just want to cry.

“Come on, Lily. I didn’t mean it like that—”

“No, it’s fine,” I mumbled. “I’ll watch my words better.”

“I won't trouble you anymore.” I smiled. “Promise.”

I made my way upstairs, unsure of whether I wanted Kaden to come after me or not. He didn’t. Of course he didn't. I felt my chest tightness.

When I got to my room, Marie, Mary, and Lucy were in there, changing my sheets and dusting the shelves. But the truth is that those shelves have never been dusted.

“Hello, my lady,” Marie greeted. “Would you like some chamomile tea?”

“No, I’m just going to sit on the balcony for a moment. If any visitors come, tell them I’m resting.” I said in a hurry.