The August 8th Dinner

Jackie’s Memory Vortex (2)

I lived my days with Rogie filled with love, literally in love. How could I not? We worked in the same office, went home together, lived in the same place (I temporarily stayed in Roger's apartment until we could afford a minimalist house), and then spent our downtime together. No, not yet, we haven't gotten bored yet with each other, after all, we're newlyweds. I'm starting to learn new things about Roger's habits that I hadn't known before, because we'd intended to live together only after we were married. I'm sure Roger is learning a lot about me, too.

We each had quite a bit of savings before we created the joint account, so it only took a few months for us to make our dream of a new home a reality. We've already signed the purchase agreement for the house and car, which we'll officially move into and own on May 2nd. For the past two months, we had been making small payments on our belongings. Perhaps more accurately, I was helping Rogie packing all his stuff, since mine were not much.

"Let me carry this," Roger offered his help as I struggled to carry a box full of his clothes. "You're so stubborn"

"Why stubborn?" I asked, pretending to challenge him back.

"I told you many times, I'll handle the lifting. You just help tidy up or tape the boxes shut."

"Hehe. But I like being stubborn."

"Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do!”

Roger just looked at me lovingly without saying anything else. We were both preoccupied with the things that were still scattered around.

"Uh... Jackie?" Roger called hesitantly. His hand was holding a small box. "Is this your stuff?"

"Oh, right," I said gratefully, taking the box from my husband. "Gosh, I've been looking for it for days, and it's here."

"What is it?"

"Just a flash drive," I replied lightly while looking away. But Roger's confused silence seemed to demand more from me.

“Well,” I continued sheepishly, “I’ve actually been working on small projects for the past month. Not for an outside client, but my personal ones that I might be able to continue when I become a full-time housewife.”

“What kind of projects are they?”

I grinned automatically. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Not now?”

“Not now.”

Roger pouted in disappointment, pretending to pout. I chuckled at his expression.

“We still have plenty of time to discuss it, Rogie, don’t pout like that. When I actually resign and have more time at home, you’ll see me spending a lot of time working on the projects.”

Roger hesitated for a moment. “But why prepare now? You can start later, when we really want a child. You’ll only resign once we’ve planned a pregnancy program, right?”

My face flushed without warning. “Yes, that’s right. Just… maybe… the program will happen sooner? Who knows, right?”

The brown-haired man in front of me smiled cheekily.

“Then, how about we plan our child program now?”

I was surprised, flustered. “N… now?”

“Don’t be so shocked. Having a child is a process, too, Dear. What we’re doing now is planning, which also takes time.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I can see from the sparkle in your eyes, and from your little projects, that you want it too. Right?”

I didn’t answer, but my awkwardness must have been evident in the increasingly rapid movements of my hands as I packed my things. Roger burst out laughing and continued.

“I want you to be healthy, stress-free, and eat nutritious food, so that we can have healthy children. After we move, you can submit your resignation letter, okay? Or maybe in a month… April. But there’s no pressure. You can think it over carefully. What do you think?”

I looked up and found Roger studying my face, as if he easily saw through my repressed feelings. And indeed, Roger was right.

Yeah, there's no problem, right, if we just speed things up? After all, Roger has demonstrated good responsibility as a husband throughout our marriage. I'm sure he'll be a good father and is willing to learn to do so.

"But as far as I know, it's not just about a healthy mother. A father needs to be healthy too so the baby will be born healthy," I said, joining in the judgment.

Roger kissed the top of my head. "Of course, Jackie, dear, don't worry. I'll sign up for a gym if you let me. Maybe consulting a nutritionist too? I also promise not to bring work matters home. Maybe we can start visiting a doctor in a few days. What do you think?"

I really couldn't shake the burning desire in my heart that Roger kept fanning, no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

"Okay, Rogie."

***

It seems what people often say is true: time flies when we're with the people we love. In about a month, we'll be celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary. Our life is quite successful for a young couple by today's standards: we have our own house, car, and on September 4th, I would be three weeks pregnant. For the past few days, Louisa, a sweet twenty-two-years-old, has been keeping me company at home and helping with the housework. Roger and I had planned to hire a housekeeper when I first became pregnant, and Louisa's presence has been a huge help. Louisa is versatile and a quick learner. She's also diligent, cheerful, and has quickly become close to Roger and me.

"Ma’am," Louisa called out while we were in the kitchen. While pregnant, I requested Roger to stay cooking, while Louisa did the rest of chores. This afternoon, I'll be making fried chicken with garlic and barbecue sauce, scrambled eggs, and salad for dinner, while Louisa helped me preparing the ingredients.

"Yes, what is it, Lou?" I asked back, my attention still focused on the chicken I was marinating in flour and spices.

"I noticed, Mr. Roger seems to really care for you," Lou said appreciatively. She transferred the cucumber she had just cut into a bowl.

I smiled happily, though Lou couldn't see it directly. "Yes, because we love each other, obviously? I'm sure your boyfriend loves you as much as Roger does me."

Lou giggled. "I... don't have a boyfriend, Ma'am," she said casually. "I started working when I was nineteen, and I was busy with my job. I was also focused on saving money, so sometimes I asked my employer for extra work to help my savings grow faster. So... I didn't have much time to think about having a boyfriend."

"But there must be someone approaching you, right?"

"Hmm, there is," Loe replied shyly. "But, but, he's a rude man, Ma'am. When he's short of money, he often got angry with me."

I turned to Lou seriously. "Well, then stay away from him! You deserve a better man."

Lou blushed again. "But, as I said, Ma'am, I'm not interested in romance right now."

I studied Lou for a moment. With looks like that, firm, youthful skin, and a slim yet curvaceous figure, Lou would easily win over any man. Furthermore, Lou's sweet way of speaking and easygoing nature would surely win over their weak points. It only took a little coaxing and a touch.

"Even though you're single now, I'm sure you've had some of ex-boyfriends in the past," I joked. "Because you're beautiful and sweet girl."

"Ah, Madam, that's too much compliment for me."

“Anyway, you’ve had three previous employers, right? Did you change empliyers every year? What was the reason?”

“Not exactly every year, ma’am. Some were shorter than that. Ah, here are the vegetables I’ve chopped, Ma’am.”

I took the bowl of vegetables with a nod. Lou continued, “My first employer gave me far more work than I was paid, ma’am. But I stayed for a year so she could give me a proper letter of recommendation. After a year and two months, I quit and moved to a second employer. This second employer…” Lou seemed to be staring off into the distance, her eyes filled with disappointment. “…She falsely accused me of stealing family belongings, Madam, so I quit after two months. My placement as an assistant was also delayed because of this case. Fortunately, my agent from maid distributor insisted on a thorough investigation, and it was discovered that I wasn't the thief, but my employer's own son. The agent sued for damages for defamation, and they were required to write me a letter of recommendation detailing their accusations against me. It was quite a drama.” Lou's voice was punctuated by the sound of hot oil sputtering from Jackie's pan frying chicken.

“I was very lucky. My third employer accepted me for who I was and understood my situation with my previous employer. The placement agent also helped explain things to this third employer. He was a good person, just like my first.”

“Then why did you quit working with him?”

Lou grinned, showing off his teeth, an awkward smile. “Because I was just a temporary replacement, Madam. My third employer already had a maid already, but he had an urgent family matter that required her to be absent from work for six or seven months. My employer didn’t want to lay her off, so he only gave him unpaid leave. So for those six months, she was replaced by a temporary maid, that was me.”

I nodded slightly, my eyes still focused on the frying pan. “So, what are you going to do now? Do you intend to stay and continue working with us?”

My question was a trap. But Lou answered it skillfully. “Well, I can’t decide that right away, Madam. I’ve only been here a few days, haven’t I? Just like your assessment of me is still biased, since I’ve only been here a few days, too. We’ll only get to know each other and assess each other after a few months.”

I laughed as I flipped the chicken in the pan. “Okay.”

One thing I learned from that brief conversation that afternoon was this: Louisa is not only graceful and charming, but also intelligent.

***

For a moment, I felt like I vaguely saw the execution room again amidst the hazy blur of memories. That short memories swirled in my head, and for some reason, I was so determined to relive the entire replay. I fought with all my might against the drowsiness from the first injection. Fighting the anesthesia that had already permeated every inch of my internal organs.

Jackie's body felt weak and comfortable…

My eyelids began to close just as I felt a gentle touch once again on my inner arm. This meant the medic was about to administer the second injection: the paralysis shot.