Their traded family

5. Fight

Hope's P.O.V

I felt like I was going to vomit.

The thought of a wolf of high rank, an influential wolf, more likely than not, one that had power over others, forcing himself on my birth mother made me want to both vomit and scream.

Had he done it to others? Had he used his rank and the strength it brought him to hurt her? To hurt other females?

Quickly sinking my head underwater, I stayed down until I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, then, with my family's stares on my back and despite my initial exhaustion, I ran.

I ran until my lungs heaved and my entire body shook with anger and disappointment, with questions that would most likely remain unanswered, with pain for the female whom I'd never met but was supposed to have been my world.

I didn't allow myself to wonder what I would've been like had Alana raised me and not Mom and Dad. I'd never let myself think those thoughts, because what good would they do? I loved my parents, my family, and my imagination, as beautiful as it could be, could also cause a world of pain not only for myself but for my parents, too. So I lived in the real world, in the right now, until now.

Now I could no longer keep my head above the water. I could no longer pretend I didn't wonder what life would've been like had Alana remained alive long enough to raise me.

Would my biological father, would that monster have tormented us? Tormented her? Was it better that she had gone because of me and not because of his torture?

Or would we have been happy - just my mom and I?

The monster would've gotten what he deserved, and she would've been free to raise me, assuming she even wanted to in the first place. Maybe, if the stories Aunt Dali had told me about Alana and how much she'd adored nature and animals were true, she would've jumped barefoot in streams with me, and she would've taken me to pick wildflowers and to look at insects.

My body had finally had enough by the time I found myself at the front entrance of the pack house, where I lived along with my family, being the ranked members and all, and some families and warriors who'd chosen to stay instead of getting their own place.

I collapsed near the door, breathing harshly as the gravel and rocks of the stairs dug into Hadley's underbelly.

She'd remained quiet after the thoughts became louder. She'd let me process them on my own, and even then, I didn't feel lonely. There was someone who would always share my secrets now, and it wouldn't be a burden, there was nothing more I could ask for.

Nudging my side with her snout, I realized my mom had followed me, through a distance, I hoped, or else my instincts would've been way down tonight, and although our territory was safe thanks to Uncle Knox and Aunt Dali, us young wolves had been taught never to let our guard down completely.

"Tired, pumpkin? You did quite the run for a first shift!" I huffed in confirmation, wanting to avoid further discussion but knowing I wouldn't be able to. I needed to speak to her before I left for Silver Claws no matter how many secrets she'd kept from me. "Hold up." I waited as mom went behind a tree to shift, then brought out clothes for me to do the same. "It won't be as bad as the first time," Mom murmured, stroking her hand through Hadley's soft fur as she spoke, "your muscles will be sore, but you'll be okay, I promise."

I didn't trust that. Not after how excruciating the pain of the first shift had been, but I had no choice. I couldn't live out the rest of my life in wolf form, not if I wanted to remain sane, anyway, so I took a deep breath, and like I'd been taught, exhaled slowly as I pictured my human self coming forward. Soon enough, my bones began to re-break and extend, my claws retreated to make space for fingernails and the red fur slowly disappeared. The pain wasn't bad, but it was there anyway. Still, I managed with a few whimpers only, which I took as a win.

Once shifted, my shaking hand extended towards Mom, who instead of letting me dress myself, which honestly would've been slow with how weak my muscles felt, slipped a large T-shirt over my head, smoothing hair out of my face.

That thing was as wild as Ruby herself, and very few things were. Animals, mostly.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Mom took my arm, wanting to guide me upstairs before I pulled away. "My independent girl," she shook her head, "always wanting to do everything herself." I didn't say anything as I walked to our suite, to my room, Mom walking behind me the whole time, much to my dismay.

I really needed some space away from her tonight. I was stubborn and so was she, and the last thing I wanted was for either of us to say something we didn't mean. I did need to talk to her, I just didn't plan on it being tonight.

I walked inside my room, intending to call it a night and just speak to her and Dad together in the morning, but she walked inside before I could.

"Mom," I finally turned to face her, "I'm not five, I can take myself to bed."

"I know," she smiled softly, so softly that it was hard to stay angry, "I just, I'm proud of the female you're growing into, but I wish you'd stayed little for a while longer." I didn't reply. I couldn't. Not with the thick lump stuck in my throat and demanding I let the tears I'd held loose all evening be spilled.

I gulped as I slipped under the covers, nearly gasping at how good it felt to finally rest. Mom pulled the blankets over to my chin just like when I was a little girl, then rubbed her hands over my arms to warm me up and kissed each of my cheeks.

"Hope, what's wrong, pumpkin?" She asked once I made no move to kiss her back. I usually did, and then it almost always ended up with her staying with me and us talking until Dad dragged her away so both of us could get some sleep. It was clear she'd wanted to stay now with my first shift, my birthday and not finding my mate. I'd been excited about that before overhearing the conversation that I technically shouldn't have.

I shrugged, avoiding the question. I was tired; so, so tired. And the look in her eyes...

"Tell me, baby! Did you not like your party? Is it because you didn't meet your mate?" I shook my head, but Mom kept rambling regardless. "You know that it doesn't happen immediately for everyone. You'll find him, pumpkin, I know you will, and then your dad and I will-"

"Mom!" I cut her off, sighing as my head fell into the pillow once more, my neck too sore to keep my head upright. "Stop. It's none of that." Worry crossed her features for a single moment, but it was a moment too long judging by the sigh of disappointment she let out. I hadn't meant to give her a look, to do anything, really, but I could hardly control myself anymore.

"You-"

“Heard? Yeah, I did." Mom got up as if my mattress was made of needles, reaching for the door. "You don't get to leave now!" I shouted. "You wanted to speak, so speak!" She turned slowly, fear so prominent in her features that I nearly ran into her arms, the limbs twitching to comfort her.

She was my mom, a fact I unfortunately always had at the back of my head, not allowing me to get properly angry even now.

"There's nothing to say, pumpkin," She murmured, leaning her back on the door and clutching the knob until her knuckles turned white.

"Nothing," a humorless chuckle escaped my lips, "it didn't seem like nothing when you and Dad were yelling about it."

"That conversation was between me and him, Hope, you had no right to listen in. If it was something either of us thought you should know, then you would've."

"Dad wanted me to know!" I shouted again, breathing hard to fight against the rage brewing within me.

Acquiring a wolf meant acquiring intensified emotions, but mine seemed like they would do just fine on their own.

"You know what," I muttered with a glare, knowing we'd get nowhere. I knew when my mother wasn't going to give out any more information, when she wouldn't budge, and this was one of those times. "Fine. I'm going to Silver Claws with Uncle Zane and Aunt Sofia tomorrow."

"No," Mom declared, "I have not taught you to run from arguments."

"Arguments are two-sided conversations, and you're not willing to communicate. Also, I wasn't asking. I need to clear my head and that won't happen here. If you ever want me to forgive you for keeping secrets about my life from me, you'll let me go." She shook her head.

"I am your mother, Hope! Me! And my mate is your father! Nothing else matters!" I winced as if slapped. That's all she had to say? Not the usual monologue of 'your parents loved you, and they would've been so proud of you' or 'If there is any new information, you'll be the first to know'.

Had that all been a lie?

"Think of your aunt, pumpkin," she pleaded, the change in emotion making my head spin, "you don't want to hurt her, do you?" I shook my head and gestured toward the door.

"Do not use my aunt against me! And, Mom, if you're keeping anything else from me, I will find out, and this time, I won't forgive you." She sucked in a sharp breath before the anger slipped back onto her face.

"Because of what? A detail I kept to keep you safe? Happy? Because you wished you would've been raised by Alana and not me?" I shook my head, baffled by her words.

My mom had always been protective, but she'd never spoken of my birth mother with such... hatred. She'd never mentioned her with anything other than respect. She'd never tried to manipulate me by using her, certainly.

Dad slipped into the room, confusion etched on his features as he glanced from Mom to me, my cheeks red from anger and her heartbeat raging.

"What's going on here?" He asked.

"Dad, take Mom out of my room, I don't want to speak to her. Or you, for that matter," I declared. "Tomorrow I'll go to Silver Claws for a while."

"Why?" He asked, even more confused than before.

"Because she heard us," Mom stated, "and now..." Dad didn't let her finish her sentence, but all three of us knew what she'd wanted to say.

I was going to dig around and find the truth about my birth mother and father.

Apparently, mom was against it, for reasons I couldn't quite grasp. But it didn't matter, not anymore. Not when I wasn't sure any words coming out of her mouth weren't blatant lies.

"I'll speak to your uncle and arrange for your studies to be transferred online." Dad held Mom as she trashed against him, glaring up at his face she usually adored with glistening tears.

"She's not going out of our sight! She's our pup!"

Turning around and burying my head under the covers as my own tears finally slipped down my cheeks, Dad finally dragged Mom out of the room. I was still mad at him, but the anger was lessening by the second, because, after all, he was on my side now, even if sixteen years too late.

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Whose side are you on - Hope's or Paisley's?