Of Fate and Freedom

Chapter Nine

I wake up startled and on edge the next morning. I'd fallen asleep effortlessly after my time in the training facility with Isleen, but sleep itself didn't offer me much relief from my day.

The same dream I've been having for months crept back into my subconscious not long after I'd drifted off, but it was a bit different this time. When I'd reached the peak of the hill near the end of my dream, there were two mangled figures at the top that looked like a grotesque and unnatural entanglement of human and wolf body parts. And the sinister eyes I'd seen were still just as chilling, but this time they were only red in the center, giving way to a rich brown color...

I shake the dream from my head and focus on my surroundings. A very dim light filters through my sheer curtains, the glow itself a result of the sconces on the outside walls shining down on the freshly fallen snow. Still not fully awake, I go through the motions of my usual morning routine and prepare for my run, thankful that I’d set out my training uniform so that I didn’t have to search for it this morning, but something feels... different.

Orrin yawns silently and gets up from his bed, stretching dramatically before ambling towards my spot on the floor to lazily to press his nose to my cheek. "Morning, boy," I murmur lovingly, pausing from putting on my shoes to scratch him in his favorite spot at the base of his left ear. I hoist myself up and stride towards my nightstand to grab my phone and AirPods.

When I disconnect my phone from the charger, the screen lights up automatically, blindingly flashing the time at me. 4:49 am it reads, telling me that I slept about a half hour less than I did the night before. I shut the screen back off almost immediately, allowing my pupils to relax and readjust to the dimly lit room for a few seconds before heading out to grab Orrin's harness near the front door.

"Yer up early." Father's voice — mixed with the shock of entering the hallway that was much different from mine and Moira's house in Cape Denia — wakes me up completely, and realization slams into me as all the events of the day before come rushing back. I had briefly forgotten where I was before now, fooled by the base’s perfect replica of my room that I'd woken up in.

I blink a few times, adjusting to the soft lights in the corridor and attempting to slow my heart rate as I look around to see where his voice is coming from. "Yeah... been happening a lot recently," I finally manage, locating him on the opposite end of the hall.

"Sorry, pet. Didn't mean to frighten yeh," he chuckles, quickly closing the distance between us and giving me a sidelong hug and a quick peck on the forehead. "Anything yeh want to talk about?"

"No, not really. Just nightmares. I usually go on a run to clear them from my head."

"Ahh. Well, yer welcome to join me if yeh like, pet. I'm headed out fer a perimeter run," he offers, his highland accent heavier than usual, probably from grogginess.

"Let's go," I smile up at him, nodding in agreement. He leads the way out of our wing, stopping briefly to allow me to grab Orrin's leash and harness from the mud room.

If I wasn't awake before, I definitely am the second we step out of the front door. A sharp wind hits me head on, causing my eyes to water a bit. Nonetheless, I adjust swiftly as we break out into a light run down the main drive towards the base entrance.

I seamlessly fall in step with Father, our cadenced footfalls echoing across the smooth asphalt, wind whistling by my ears while Orrin trots inaudibly ahead. I always enjoy running with Father — truthfully, I enjoy doing just about anything by his side. We're kindred spirits in a lot of ways, and I never feel the need to be careful or poised around him the way I do with Mother. I don't blame her, of course; she only wants to prepare me for my future, but that doesn't make her any less intimidating to be around.

Father, on the other hand, is her complete opposite in almost every way. Where she's stoic, he's emotive; when she's irate, he's her steady voice of reason... or the cause of her indignation. Regardless, I've always admired their bond, especially considering their differences. When they mated, it was really hard on him. He'd never planned on having to leave his home in the Ceallach highlands, let alone be mated to anyone other than his first love.

He and Sloane shared a real connection; that was something he never withheld when he talked about moving here. Mother never seemed bothered by his admission though; that's simply how it is among Alpha matings. It's exceedingly rare that an Alpha knows her mate before they bond, and rarer still that they're in a relationship before the bond can be forged. Sloane was sure she and my father would beat the odds, though, so her devastation hit her pretty hard when Father mated before she had the chance to. His mating to Mother was particularly unusual, however, because Alpha mates usually came from other Alpha — or the occasional Beta — bloodlines. Father's family had been average conroicht for as far back as he could trace them.

Regardless of the circumstances, they ended up becoming one of the strongest Alpha matings in Ossory. Mother had admitted to me once that she was worried when they first mated; he moved to the Róisín base only two days after they had met, bringing along with him his broken heart.

Unfortunately, our mating bonds have no effects on our feelings; they just bind us together. Most Alpha matings were similar to that of royal human marriages from the Middle Ages: a move to strengthen their people and sometimes forge alliances. Neither of my parents wanted a loveless marriage, though, so they agreed to work at it. It took them quite a bit of time, but Mother’s ingrained patient demeanor definitely played a part in it all. She understood that he needed time to heal and adjust, and he began to love her for that, which led to them building the relationship they have today. Of course, that only made Sloane more bitter. She resented Father for moving on from her (never mind that he had to), and despised Mother for getting the man she loved.

Father and I have been running in silence for the past fifteen minutes or so by now, something not uncommon for our runs together, but I slow to a purposeful walk as a question crosses my mind, burning me to ask him.

Noticing my slowed pace, he relaxes his own to match mine, regarding me quizzically. “Everything alright?” he asks, barely out of breath.

I furrow my brow, still a bit lost in thought. “How much do you know about Niall Kane?”

Father raises his eyebrows briefly before his usual pleasant demeanor reappears across his face. “Quite a bit, actually. He’s Ceallach’s Leifteanant, same as I was ‘fore I left. We cross paths along the northern border a rather fair amount. Why d’yeh ask?”

I relay to him the events of the previous evening as we walk along the perimeter. We'd veered off the pavement a while ago, so the fresh snow crunches under our shoes as we walk. Orrin starts tugging at his leash, so I pull him back to me to unhook him from his harness. I watch as he bounds through the snow, tail wagging ecstatically. Turning my attention back to Father, I resume our conversation.

"Can he be trusted?" I ask after I've caught him up to speed. "I don't know, I get this strange vibe from him. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with him on our grounds. I feel like he has ulterior motives for being here."

“And what would those be?”

“I… I’m not sure,” I admit wholeheartedly. “Like I said, it’s just a feeling.”

“Well,” he begins, tipping his head to the side and scratching it thoughtfully, “I s’pose there’s some unease that’ll always be there, what with the history b’tween yer mothers. But he’s a Ceallach, same as I, pet. I’ve no reason to distrust the lad, pers’nally. But we highlanders get a bad rap, bein’ so reclusive ‘n all. Comes with the territory.”

“But you’re not like them. You’re open and happy all the time, not cold and conniving like the Kanes. Not to mention their grudges overpower any respect for tradition that they might have. No doubt the rest of the clan is the same.”

He gives me a stern glance. “Ye’d be wise to mind yer tongue, pet. I’m as much a Ceallach as I am a Róisín. And yer grandparents are, too. Most of the clan is a lot like yer old man, if ye’d believe it. I s’pose yeh wouldn’t know, though, seein’ as yeh haven’t been there since yeh were but a wee lass. Far as the Kanes go… well, Sloane has her grievances. No doubt she always will, but she’s a sweet gal if you get the chance to know her. Niall and his father, Athol, though, they don’t really feed into the drama all that much. They’re jus’ quiet, ‘tis all.”

I mull over his words, doing my best to keep an open mind. I respect all of my father’s opinions, whether I like them or not, because he’s always been honest with me, and never fails to hear me out.

At this point we’re nearing the crest of one of the hills surrounding the training grounds, and from the distance, beneath its lights, I can see the Sentries beginning to gather on the main field, waiting for Father to begin.

“Isleen said he was trying to get to know me yesterday. Do you know why?” I inquire further. I don’t know why I’m allowing Niall to engulf my thoughts, but if Father knows him well, then maybe he can dispel my curiosity.

“Could be a number of reasons. Yer both born of Alpha lines and yer clans are neighbors, and yer also close in age. Could be, though, the lad has eyes for yeh,” he winks at me mischievously.

I throw my head back and groan. He’s the second person to mention this to me, and I was no more willing to accept it coming from my father than I was when Isleen suggested it. He laughs heartily at my reaction, and in mock retaliation, I reach down to grab a handful of snow and shove it down the back of his parka.

“Oh, now yeh’ve done it!” he roars, launching us into a sudden snowball fight. Orrin, who’d wandered off somewhere in front of us, sprints back at the sound of our humorous play fighting and begins excitedly barking and nipping at our heels. Near the base of the hill, I nail Father with a perfectly places snowball to the face, catching him off guard enough to tackle him to the ground. We tumble down the remainder of the hill, laughing all the way. When we finally reach the bottom, Father is the first to his feet and hoists me up not long after, setting me upright and brushing a bit of of snow out of my mess of curls.

Before we head in, he looks at me with teasing glint in his eye from earlier. “I almost fergot,” he chuckles, “Niall’s going to be joining us fer trainings o’er the next few days while he’s on base.”

I gape at him incredulously. “Are you right mad? He’s the Leifteanant of a rival clan—”

“Neighboring clan,” Father interjects, then softens his tone. “And he needs somewhere to train, pet. He’s our guest, not a spy.”

“Not that we know of,” I mumble under my breath, but I silence the multitude of other protests beginning to form in my head as I follow him to the field.

Sure enough, Niall is there near the front, standing off to the side from the various groups of chattering conroicht. He doesn’t seem bothered by his solitude, just disinterested in the conversations of the group. He stands out against our sea of Sentries, his navy and white clan-issued training uniform clashing against our own scarlet and grey ones. Closer to the middle of the grounds, Aedan is talking to a group of six or seven Sentries almost twice his age, but breaks off from them once he spots us closing in.

“Morning, Leifteanant Conall! Shay, glad to see you! Ready for today?” he chimes, entirely too chipper for this weather and time of day. Still, I can’t help but appreciate that brilliant smile of his.

“I stay ready,” I inform him jokingly. I feel a familiar presence in my mind and look past him to see Moira walking up to us as well.

“Hey, sis,” I call out to her when she’s close. I feel a slight pang of guilt; I haven’t seen or talked to her since the meeting yesterday. I’ve been too preoccupied with my onslaught of emotions to see how she was doing, but she seems to be in a better mood today. “Joining us for training?”

“Why not? I could use the exercise, especially since we have only two weeks to prepare for the biggest change of our lives instead of four months,” she shrugs. My thoughts darken with nervous anticipation as I’m reminded of the whole reason we came back home in the first place. I look down at the fresh Seal on my right hand absentmindedly as dread begins to creep over me.

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind so I can focus in on the session ahead. “Yeah, you’re right. This’ll be good for us,” I reply, hooking my arm around hers as we make our way to the center of the field, following the rest of the Sentries as they form a half circle around Father.

Wasting no time, he begins barking out orders, assigning us all to set up assorted warm up stations across different parts of the field. I have to admit, it feels good to be back home, training with my own people. I see a lot of familiar faces, from kids I’d gone to school with that had grown up and taken their places among the Sentries, to others closer to Father’s age that had helped train me when I was young. It’s a much different dynamic than my combat classes on campus, which were filled with students all of the same age from all over the world.

To my surprise, Father assigns me to lead my own group. Seeing visible shock spread across my face, he leans in towards me to where only I can hear his words. “Yer time to lead is upon us, pet. Yer young, but strong-willed and wise. If yeh can lead yer people on the battlefield, they’ll follow yeh in ev’ry other aspect as well,” he encourages me with a knowing smile.

With his words of encouragement being all I need to bolster me, I turn to face my first group of the day. I have about thirty guardians assigned to me, along with Moira. Father has us starting out with an agility exercise meant to loosen up our hip flexors. I send a couple of the younger members off to grab the materials we need, and we begin setting up our area when they return. I work them through a couple of quick stretches to loosen them up, and after demonstrating the different parts of the exercise, we begin.

The group takes to my instruction well and without complaint. I go through the exercise with them, enjoying the exertion as it gets my blood pumping. After about ten minutes, our groups rotate to the next station while we leaders stay begins to instruct the next groups. Moira flashes me a proud smile as she passes, a bit out of breath but otherwise seeming to enjoy herself.

My next group is a bit older and full of some faces I don’t know, except for one: Isleen’s uncle and one of our leading Sentries, Alistair. He sweeps me up into a quick hug when he sees me, his long dreads falling in my face.

“The prodigal daughter returns! How’ve you been, Saoirse?” he asks, beaming at me.

“I can’t complain, Uncle A,” I grin back, my usual response to him. “Speaking of prodigal daughters, shouldn’t your sister’s child be here?” I ask, referring to Isleen.

“Oh, you know I have no control over that girl. No doubt she’s sleeping in again,” he chuckles, his rich brown eyes gleaming with amusement before he falls in line with the rest of the group.

The rest of the groups come and go as the warm up hour passes, with a few more Sentries welcoming me home and thankfully not asking why I’m back. After every group has been through all the stations, we clean up the field and pair off for sparring practice. I see Father pointing Alistair towards my sister, no doubt asking him to show her the ropes. I scan the rest of the group searching for my favorite sparring partner when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

“Miss Conall, would you do me the honor of being my partner this morning?” I turn to see Niall standing a few steps away from me, hands clasped behind his back.

Before I can come up with a snarky remark, I jump as a pair of hands roughly latch on to my shoulders and shake me slightly back and forth. “Yes, a battle of the Alpha lines! Show him who’s boss, Shay!” Aedan cheers, oblivious to the disdain radiating off of my body. He releases me and jogs backwards past us, giving me two thumbs up before turning to take his place across from Father.

“Shall we? It’ll be fun,” Niall repeats his statement from yesterday, bringing one of his hands forward to offer a sweeping gesture toward the empty space in front of him. With a deadpan expression, I trudge to the open spot and lined up between Aedan and some other young Sentry, then turn to face Niall, assuming a fighting stance.

Pushing aside my less than pleased sentiments towards him, I recall his harsh words and all the frustration I’d felt because of him yesterday, converting those emotions into energy that charge through my legs and fists. A wave of dangerous empowerment sweeps over me as I study his stance and hand placement, anticipating his first move.

I smile menacingly. This was going to be fun.