Chapter 19
1579 Words
CASSIE’S POV
I heard his footsteps move away. The door didn’t close all the way.
Then his steps faded down the hallway, and after that, there was only silence.
I sat on the edge of the bed. The mattress gave way under me so softly it felt like it had been waiting for me.
I pressed my hands down on both sides and felt how good it was. Then I looked around the room again, at the warm light, the empty bookshelves, the window seat, and the garden below.
Something inside my chest opened wide. It didn’t hurt, but it felt huge. It felt like something I had kept locked away for too long had suddenly broken free. The feeling was almost too much to hold.
“Don’t you dare” Amara said.
“I’m not, I replied
“You’re about to”
“I’m holding it together”
“You are one soft pillow away from falling apart completely. I can feel it. You’re vibrating.”
“I am not vibrating”
“Emotionally vibrating” she answered.
I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth and took a slow breath.
The room was real. The window seat was real. The garden below was real. The thin line of light at the horizon was real.
Nothing was going to change it in the next five minutes. No one was going to rush in and take it all back before morning. That thought came so naturally to me that I hated it.
“Stop waiting for someone to take it back” Amara said, softer this time.
“I don’t know how to do that” I admitted.
“I know. We’ll figure it out together”
I lay back on the bed without changing my clothes. I still had the blanket around me. I stared up at the ceiling and let the room stay real around me.
I fell asleep before I even realized I was drifting.
-
Hours later, I woke to a gentle knock on the door.
“Come in” I said.
The door opened and Lily stepped inside. She was the young maid who had smiled at me earlier like we could already be friends. She carried a neat stack of folded clothes and placed them on the chair beside the vanity.
“Some things that might fit,” she said simply. “I guessed your size. There are basics, proper clothes, and a few things for sleeping. We can sort more tomorrow if you’d like.”
She said it like it was nothing at all, like finding clothes for a guest in the middle of the night, or early morning, whatever time it was, was an ordinary thing people did every day.
I looked at the stack. The clothes were soft colors - cream, deep blue, warm grey. Nothing flashy. Just real, well-made things. They were the kind of clothes I had never owned in my life.
“I didn’t ask for these,” I said.
I didn’t mean it badly. I just truly did not understand.
Lily smiled “You didn’t have to. Your school uniform wasn’t the right size. I noticed. Dinner’s ready. Please, come down.”
That was all she said. Then she left quietly and closed the door behind her. I stood there staring at the stack of clothes on the chair.
I thought of my uniform, the one that didn’t fit, the one I wore because my good one had been ruined by Kenny. I’d worn it because I had nothing else.
I stood in that uniform all day while people looked at me. I had been humiliated in it. I had come home in it. I had survived things in it that I still couldn’t fully bring myself to remember.
And a girl I had met less than half an hour ago had noticed. She had noticed without pointing it out, without making me feel small. She had simply gone and fixed what she could.
“Cassie” Amara said softly.
“Don’t” I answered.
“It’s okay to feel this” she said.
“I know” I dropped my hands, looked at the ceiling, and took a breath. “I know it is. I’m just not used to it”
“I know you’re not but maybe you should start getting used to it”
I got up and changed into the clothes. They fit perfectly, as if Lily had known exactly what I needed.
Then I went downstairs for dinner. The dining room felt completely different with people inside it. When I had seen it earlier, it had looked formal and quiet. Now it felt warm and alive.
The bright overhead lights were gone. There were lots of candles lined along the center of the table.
I took the seat that seemed meant for me. Bastian sat across from me. Castien was on my left. Darren sat at the head of the table, which placed him on my right. I sat down, trying to act normal.
Bastian smiled at me “You good?”
I smiled “Yeah. Thanks”
The food arrived, and it was incredible. I tried not to show how incredible it was to me. I ate carefully. I’d spent years eating that way - measuring portions, being aware of what was there and what might not be there tomorrow, learning to save without thinking about it. That habit didn’t disappear just because this table was full of food.
My body still ate like someone who didn’t trust that there would be more later. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop.
"What year are you in at school?" Castien asked me.
"Final year," I said.
"And before this pack?" he asked. "Did you grow up here?"
"Born here," I said. "Never left." I paused. "Never had much reason to."
He nodded.
"What's it like?" Bastian asked, leaning forward slightly with his elbows "Growing up in a pack as like this? How do the members treat each other"
"It’s harder when you’re a nobody," I said.
The room went silent.
The brothers looked at each other, like they didn’t know what to say. I didn’t blame them. I shouldn’t have said that.
“Don’t talk about yourself like that” Castien said, looking at me.
“You’re not a nobody” Bastian added.
I chuckled dryly “You don’t even know me”
“We know you well enough to know you’re not what you just called yourself” Darren said quietly.
His words warmed something inside me. I was surprised that they all said what they did.
Nobody had ever made me feel good about myself, except for my mom.
"What do you actually like?" Bastian asked. "Not what you're good at What do you actually enjoy?"
I thought about it. It was a stranger question than it should have been.
"Reading," I said. "When I can get books. The library at school lets you borrow but you have to be in good standing and I'm usually not, so." I shrugged. "I find ways."
"What kind of books?" Castien asked.
"Anything," I said honestly. "I'm not selective. I read the back of product packaging if there's nothing else." I caught Bastian's expression. "Don't."
"I wasn't going to say anything," he said with a smirl.
"You were."
"I was going to say that's either the most dedicated reading habit I've ever heard of or a very specific kind of sad and I genuinely cannot decide which."
I pressed my lips together. "Both," I said. "It's both."
"Respect," he said, completely seriously, and I laughed before I could catch it.
Darren reached for his glass and I noticed him watching me over the rim of it when he drank.
"What else?" he asked. He put the glass down.
"Cooking," I said. "My mother taught me and I just kept going with it." I turned my fork over in my hand. "It's the one thing I could always do that felt like mine. You put things together and they become something else." I glanced up and found all three of them watching me. I cleared my throat. "It sounds more profound than it is. I just like food."
"No," Bastian said. "That was actually profound. Don't take it back."
We continued eating as we talked.
I tried my best to focus on my food but something in the air changed.
I felt him before I looked at him – Darren. Suddenly, I felt that pull again, to my right this time. It was stronger now across the small distance between us. Amara leaned toward it inside me. She felt drawn to it. I felt like Darren was looking at me.
When I turned, Darren was already watching me. His eyes were filled with so many emotions as he looked at me. His eyes turned dark slowly. The way he stared at me was so intense that my heart started racing.
I looked away first. My face felt warm.
Amara said nothing. She was enjoying this too much to interrupt.
We continued talking.
To my surprise, Darren’s hand found mine beneath the table.
My breath hitched. As soon as he touched me, it felt like sparks spread up my arms.
I was shocked. I’d never felt this before.
His fingers closed gently over mine where my hand rested on my knee. His touch was warm.
I didn’t move.
- Writer
