Alpha Killian’s Cursed Mate

Anticipation

8. Anticipation

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Three days have passed. I don't know what plagued my mind more: Ted trying to kill me or Alpha Killian's possible death. Ted plagued my dreams every time I closed my eyes, turning them into nightmares. While I was awake, I kept anticipating a call about Alpha Killian's demise. I don't wish him death, but it feels like the only outcome I can see right now.

It has only been three days, but it feels like an eternity waiting. I'm constantly in fear, though no one knows it. I can't tell anyone. Talia and I haven't spoken since that dreadful morning, and I'm too ashamed to face Leah. I don't think I'll be able to talk about anything with her without feeling guilty. I can't possibly burden her with my problems while she's dealing with her own. I know the problems at school won't magically disappear, even though my parents have gone to sort things out. Bullying doesn't just go away in a day.

I would have spoken to my mother about how I'm feeling, but I'm holding myself back. It's beautiful to see her acting positive. She has been gushing nonstop about how I'll soon be living my happily ever after. But will it really be my happily ever after? My father is a no-go area. I see his struggle trying to keep everything under control, and I don't intend on burdening him any further.

I know nothing about Killian. There's just a picture that I occasionally stare at. His eyes aren't welcoming in that photo; they hold anger and pain. He probably knows very little about me as well. Maybe he was also given a picture, but sadly, I fear the only thing he would know about me is that I have three dead mates on my tail.

"Sahel, what do you think about this dress?" my mother asked eagerly and excitedly. I glanced at the dress. It was indeed beautiful. I had chosen not to go to any shop to buy a dress. That would have made it the fourth time, and it would have been too traumatic and heart-wrenching for me. But my mother managed to find a way. She brought the shop over to us at home. She paid one of the store attendants for a home service, and now we were in the sitting room going through several dresses.

"It's okay, but I would prefer something simpler," I responded truthfully. The dress was indeed beautiful, but it looked too extravagant for me. It was a maxi floral dress with ruffles running from the bust to the bottom and around it. It would have been perfect if I were a bit more excited, but I'm in pain.

"Sahel, this isn't too much. This is the fifth dress you're rejecting, and they were all beautiful and okay," she reasoned, narrowing her eyes at me. Even the attendant, Lily, nodded her head in agreement.

I shrugged. "I just want it to be simple."

She sighed. "Sahel, are you okay? You've been acting off. Well... you're always off, but since the talk with the Alpha, you've been different. Is this about what Dean said, about you trying to—"

"I did not try to hurt myself," I cut her off. Some one was trying to hurt me

"Then what happened?" she asked, worry lines creasing her forehead.

I glanced at Lily, who was watching us curiously. "It's nothing. Everything is just overwhelming," I said. I didn't want to talk about this in front of Lily. She's part of this pack, and I don't want more of my business out there. They already know I'm in pain, but they would be pleased if I were in more pain. I won't give them that satisfaction. "The dress is fine. I'll take it," I added, getting up from the couch.

My mother smiled. "But wouldn't you want to try it on?"

"I wear a size eight. If this dress is in size eight, it'll fit. I'd like to rest now," I responded.

She nodded. "Sure, sure. Lily and I will sort out the rest of the things." She waved.

"Okay," I said, and I left the room.

Talia's bedroom door was slightly open when I got to the hallway. I peeped through the hole and saw her lying on her bed, facing outside the window.

Her breathing was quite stable. I knew she was awake, though. And then I heard it, a whimper. I almost missed it, but I heard it the second time. Talia was crying.

That was enough for me to enter her room. She jolted up from the bed immediately when she sensed a presence, my presence. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and she had a scowl on her face directed at me.

"Get out!" she yelled, pointing at the door.

I bit my lip in frustration, but I took a step closer. "I am so sorry, Talia. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean for all this to happen. I—"

"But it happened because of you. You f*****g ruined my life, and now you get to run off with an Alpha to some happy-ever-after!" she cut me off with her yelling.

"You know that is not true. You know the circumstances of my life, Talia. You know everything. You know I would never want to hurt you like this. You are my sister, and I love you!" I cried out as tears ran down my cheeks.

Talia stared at me for a few seconds, tears streaming down her eyes as well, before she fell to the ground, wailing and grunting in pain.

I forced myself to walk over to her, despite the possibility that she might push me away. I sat on the floor beside her and pulled her into my body. Surprisingly, she didn't resist. Instead, she cried against my chest, and I could feel her tears soaking my blouse.

"Why would Haden do this to me? Why would he treat me like that?" she cried.

I wrapped my hands around her tightly. "I want to say that he doesn't deserve you, Talia. He truly doesn't. Because you don't deserve that. It's partly my fault, not yours. You don't deserve to suffer because of my own problems."

"I'm so sorry, Sahel. I hurt you too. I was so angry. I know what you're going through, but I had to release the pain that I was feeling, and I ended up dumping it on you. I'm really sorry," she said, pulling away from me and wiping her eyes.

"I know you didn't mean to. I just felt bad. You, Leah, Mom, and Dad are all suffering because of me," I smiled sadly. "I don't know what to do to fix all of this."

She smiled back, equally sad. "I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Mom says you really don't want this mating thing with Alpha Killian. I understand, but maybe this is what you need, a fresh start somewhere different. I don't want you to go away, but I fear you'll suffer more in this pack."

"I know," I sighed. "But what if he doesn't make it that day, like the others? What would happen to me then?" I wiped the tears from my face.

"We will be here for you regardless," she said, pulling me into another hug. This would have been a good time to talk about what Ted did, but I still didn't. Talia was still healing, and I didn't want to dump my problems on her.

"Thank you," I said, finding a bit of comfort in her arms.

****

It was around five in the evening. I had just woken up from my nap, which ended tragically because of Ted. Now, I was sitting on the ground in the graveyard. In my dreams, he succeeded. Dean was there, but he was watching and smiling as Ted sucked out life from me. All I could do was cry, and no one came to save me, and then darkness ,then I would wake up. It has become a recurring nightmare every time I sleep.

I couldn't possibly continue like this. Would this demon follow me to the SilverMoon pack? Would Ted come for me again?, to finish me off, why was he doing this?

Was he watching me right now?

Even if I managed to tell Alpha Eric, there would be no evidence. Dean would not support me, and no one would believe me, even with my family's support.

"I hope you guys are not suffering as I am. I hope you all found peace," I said. It was something I repeated each time I visited their graves. They were all good to me. They didn't deserve to be six feet under. It should have been someone like Ted.

"I'm getting mated in four days' time," I chuckled sheepishly to the stones carved with their names. They were buried side by side, so I sat in the middle, facing Paul's gravestone. Justin was on his right, just a meter away, while Tyler was on his left, a few meters away. "He is an Alpha. Maybe he will survive. Maybe whatever is inside me that got to you guys won't be strong enough to put him down," I added.

I paused for a second as a lone tear slipped from my eye.

"I don't want him to die!" I cried. "They will hate me even more. More people will despise me. My family will suffer even more. My mother is ecstatic. She's grinning from ear to ear. Her positivity is beautiful. I wish I could feel what she's feeling right now."

I pushed my hair behind my ears and adjusted my sitting position. "I'm trying to be strong, but I feel like I'm crumbling with each passing day. This mating thing isn't the solution I want, but it might be the solution I need if Alpha Killian survives. I would be able to leave this place, and my family might regain some normalcy again."

I exhaled deeply. Maybe Janet and Faith will hate me less if they knew I wouldn't be staying in the same pack with them. They even suggested I get kicked out. They're right. I understand their pain. They must feel worse than I do. No parent deserves to lose a child. No one deserves to go through that. No one.

I paused again, but this time because I heard rustling bushes close by. I snapped my head in that direction and immediately got up from the ground.

I froze when I saw Ted come into view. There was a smirk on his face. "You really talk a lot, don't you? You couldn't just stay still the other day, could you?" he said, coming closer.

I stepped back, warning him, "Don't come closer."

"Why? I think you and I should have lots of fun. I'm sure they would love to watch," he gestured at their graves.

I frowned. That was disrespectful.

He got closer, but I wouldn't allow him to do this. So, I did the only thing I could do to defend myself: I shifted.

He didn't expect that. A frown settled on his face. I growled loudly at him. I definitely wasn't strong enough to take him down, but I had the advantage now. I was faster in my wolf form, and I made a run for it. Thankfully, I was close to the pack house. He wouldn't think to pursue me there. He wouldn't want anyone to find out what he intended to do. And so, I continued running and running, despite the several stares I got from passersby. I kept running until I reached home.