The chronicles of Layla

Becoming a Mommy!

My stay in London has been okay. It was always a one routine day. Wake up, eat, nap, eat, walks in the park, sleep and sleep. I rarely talk although they try and talk to me. I was sticking to mama's warning and also last words "Don't create problems for them". My life has become robotic and dull. I look at myself in the mirror everyday just so I could remember that I'm Layla because I don't feel Layla anymore.

Last week Ummi and Uncle Ashraf called me to their room so as they could talk to me. I knew what they wanted to talk about and I was expecting it sooner. I helped Aisha to set the table before leaving. My heart was in my throat because this was a sensitive topic. I've never talked about the baby except with his uncle. The journey to the room down the corridor was the hardest and longest. I felt like I was walking to the end of the world and my legs were extremely heavy.

All thoughts vanished except of what they thought of me. Did they think I was disgusting, stupid, mad? Or what? Perhaps worst than I thought, worst than my parents thought. But if they thought about all this, would they have been smiling at me. My parents didn't smile at me. Maybe, just maybe they didn't think the worst of me. With that flicker of hope, I raised my hand and knock on the door. The door was opened and there was uncle Ashraf in his white thobe and a skull cap.

"Come in dear" he urged with a hand gesture. I timidly stepped in and sat on the carpet and greeted him. He told me Aunty Asiya will be out in a minute. Just then, the door opened to a smiling face. Ummi.

"Laylah Habibty! How are you?"

"Alhamdullilah. You called?"

"Yes. Have you finished setting the table?"

"Yes."

"Your uncle and I wanted to talk to you."

"Yes, Layla. I know you know what we want to talk about. It's not what you think it is thou. Uncle ash carried on. "Your father told me a few things concerning your stay with us but he was vague and he sounded angry. you're my daughter and you're always welcome to this house but it's strange how he sent you here all of a sudden during school. Or perhaps are you on vacation?

"No. I'm not" I said almost inaudible.

"Then, would you care to tell us the reason. I want to hear it from you. Not him, not anybody. Because I believe in you. We love you and we want to see you become a better person than you are now. So go on. Don't be afraid. You have nothing to be afraid of."

Yes. I have nothing to be afraid of.

Nothing.

He's not here.

He won't hurt be.

He can never.

I'm far away.

I'm safe.

This stuck like a mantra in my head. My heart beat rate increased by 180 per second. My hands were sweaty and I instantly began feeling lightheaded and everything faded. The last things I heard were uncle ash and Ummi calling for help.

>>>>>

I opened my eyes and looked around the room and saw Aisha on a sofa sleeping quite uncomfortable. I was in the hospital thou I can't remember anything apart from entering uncle ash's room. My head turned a little bit sideways and Adam was there too. His eyes were on me looking at me intently.

"You're awake. Welcome back. You've been in comma for a week. I thought you were dead"

"Hey Ya Adam! Welcome back Layla. We all knew you were going to come back. He's the only pessimist here" she said happily.

"Thanks Layla. Please can I have some water" my voice hoarse.

Yeah of course. She passed a glass of water before excusing herself to inform the doctor I was awake.

I was left with Ya Adam in the room. For some unknown reason, the atmosphere became tense. He broke the silence by clearing his throat which made me look at him. He stood up and was about to leave the room tilting his head a bit.

"With every hardship comes ease. Allah promised. Just remember you're not alone. There are a lot of people who love you." The was shut and I smiled.

Yeah! I was not alone. It's time I came out of my shell and move on. Worse things happened to other people and they moved on. They accepted as qadr which was more easy. I was going to live my life because it's qadr.

"Earth to laylu" Aisha was standing in front of me tapping my forehead. She told me that her parents were on the way and Doc is in the room before mine and will here in a minute. I said okay. I looked at her a smiled.

"Aisha, don't you think it's time?"

"Layla, time for what again"

"Time that I become Layla again."

"Really. But you've always been Layla to us. It's just some situations in life change you for a teeny weeny bit but I'm glad you've decided to be happy again."

"Yeah, I said inhaling the scent of the fresh flowers in the room.

"Hello Miss Layla. How are you feeling today?" Doctor Zanvier asked

"Hi Doc. I'm feeling better. And very much alive like never before." I replied jovially. She tried. The smile didn't reach her eyes. But one step at a time. Aisha was shocked at the sudden change in Layla but she loved it. She gazed at her and smiled. "Yeah Layla. Be happy." She thought to herself.

"That's good to hear. The nurse will be here to check your vitals in a bit. And I'm sure you will be discharged in a day or two." He said.

"Can’t wait Doc. Is the baby alright" I asked the question which has been bugging me.

"Yeah. It's perfectly fine" he turned and shut the door behind him.

She muttered Alhamdullilah. Surprisingly she felt really light today. She felt content. Just then, Uncle Ash and Ummi came in. They rushed to her side and engulfed her in a hug. "You scared us habibty. Don't do that again. Please" Ummi said worriedly.

"I won't Ummi. I promise."

"Is the baby Alright" Uncle Ash asked

Aisha said yes. The baby is perfectly fine and she might be discharged tomorrow or the next if nothing goes wrong Insha Allah.

They all murmured Insha Allah

Ummi looked at me with so much concern that marred her face. "I brought you your favorite dishes. Do you want to eat now?"

"Definitely Ummi. I'd love to taste eat. I'm so hungry"

She dished out a reasonable amount for me and told Aisha to serve herself too. She collected the plate and scent made her even more hungry and eager taste it.

It was better than she imagined.

"Wow. This is heaven. It feels like I haven't eaten all my life."

Uncle Ashraf and Ummi looked at Aisha as if asking what happened to Layla. She laughed a bit and shrugged her shoulders. Now they thought what happened to the girls?

They chatted a bit here and there in between their bites. They were glad about the sudden change in Layla. It was depressing seeing her sad all the time.

"Where is Nadiya and Sadiya?" She asked remembering she has not seen them since she woke up.

"They're at school. They have a class presentation. Adam went to bring them." Uncle Ash said.

Uncle Ash got a call from his workplace and excused himself wishing her quick recovery and promising he'll be back after work.

>>>>

Today was the discharge day. She was up and about. Ummi took her to for the ante-natal at the maternity section of the hospital. Aisha was unable to accompany them due to her busy schedule at school. Adam drove them even thou it was quite close. They sat on the waiting chairs outside the doctors scanning room. Her heart was beating thrice it's normal rate. She was going to see her baby today. Happiness and fright caught her. Is she going to make it through?

"Miss Abdullah? The nurse in scrubs called out her name.

"Yes, that's me."

"Come in" Ummi held her hand as they went into the room. It was painted white with a blue curtain to separate the room and the scanning area. It was clean and smelled antiseptic.

"Good morning Miss Layla. Welcome to your first check up. My name is Doc Elizabeth but everyone calls me Doctor Beth." She held out her hand for a handshake. She was nice and accommodating as she spoke. I like her. We both smiled and Ummi introduced herself as her mum. It made her so happy.

"Lay on the bed and raise your blouse." She instructed.

"Okay."Some kinda cold fluid was splattered on her Lower abdomen. She winced a little and Doctor Beth apologized.

There was something like a baby on the screen. The doctor showed them the heart but the limbs did not start forming. She printed out a picture for them. It was so overwhelming. Ummi hugged her while she started tearing up and told her they were there for her and she was going to be alright.

Ummi showed Adam the picture in the car. "Congratulations Mommy" he said mischievously. It felt new. Yeah! Mommy. She was going to become a mother. Adam always has a way of making her realize things. She smiled a repeated it over and over again till it stuck.

MOMMY.