Claimed By My Mafia Stepbrother

4 - Reflections

Lisa’s POV.

For what might be the hundredth time that day, I found myself trailing my fingers over my lips.

I stopped when I realised what I was doing then I chastised myself a little more when I realised where my mind had gone once again.

To Xander, and the kiss… try as I might, I couldn't get the feel of his lips on mine out of my head, the kiss was soft, his lips were firm and they seemed to fit perfectly with mine, my body felt hot and cold just at the mere thought of that kiss and I quickly had to drag my mind of it before other thoughts and realisations followed, like realisation that I wanted more of that kiss and I really wished it lasted longer.

Of course, I did my best to suppress the thoughts.

He’s my stepbrother… and a complete asshole, I reminded myself. But that didn’t stop me from thirsting over him for years even before all this happened and now, that certainly didn’t do anything to stop my overactive mind from imagining what would have happened if we were in a more enclosed space, just the two of us, would he deepen the kiss, would he touch me, slip off my clothes and then take me in one of the many ways I’d imagined over the years.

I shut my eyes and sigh.

He’s your step brother.

And an absolute ass who’d humiliated me six years ago, not to mention the fact that he’d outrightly literally asked me to kill off any feelings I had for him years ago.

Well, if he wanted that, then he shouldn’t have kissed me now for f**k’s sake.

Disgust and annoyance mixes dangerously within me. Disgust at the fact that I let him kiss me, even after he slut shamed me all those years ago, I’d stood there and I’d let him press his lips against mine, the annoyance came as an after effect whenever I remembered what he’d said at dinner.

He disappeared from my life six years ago and before then he was barely involved in it, why did he f*****g think he could just come back and tell me what to do? My marriage to Dax was none of his business, step brother or not, he didn’t get to interfere in my relationship.

The annoyance burns into rage and I find myself gripping the straps of my purse a lot tighter. Shonda shoots me a concerned look and I smile to appease her, I suggested we have breakfast together and I’ve spent the fast hour staring off into space while I turned over all thoughts concerning my step brother over and over again in my head, I’m surprised she didn’t attempt to shake me out of my thoughts all this while.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking…” I take a bite out of my pancakes, they were cold now, after being left out for the past few minutes.

I glance out of the windows in my room and exhale deeply. I wished I was in the studio right now, if I was drenched in sweat and in the middle of perfecting a complex pose for next week’s recital I probably wouldn’t have had time to think about him, but no, after what happened last night dad insisted on me staying home till he could get me a new car and proper security, it sucked and it meant I had far too much time to think about Xander… and that stupid kiss.

“About Xander?” She murmurs as she tips the glass of orange juice back. My eyes snap to her and she lifts a plucked brow. “What? Almost everyone knows that he’s back, he hasn’t been in the city for six years of course his return is causing a stir. I’m guessing you ran into him.”

“Ran into him is an understatement,” I sigh and explain everything that happened last night, from the mugging to the kiss and her mouth drops open when I finally sit silently. “Do you now see why I’m so distracted?”

“Of course, I would be as well if Xander kissed me,” she sighs dreamily and I scowl at her. “Was he any good?”

I glare pointedly at her. “What does it matter? Have you forgotten what he said to me all this years ago?”

She eyes me with a mildly amused look on her face. “It matters… since you clearly can’t stop thinking about it.”

I shut my eyes and I inwardly curse myself for telling Shonda about my problems at all. Her ability to take things seriously was lacking.

She sighs and grips my hand with a small smile on her face. “I’m sorry, you know me, I think dry humour is the solution to everything.”

I shrug.

“Well, you can’t just sit around and mope all day, if you’re that torn up about it, why don’t you just… talk to him?”

I blink. “You want me to… talk to him?”

“Well, what else are you going to do? Sit here and stew over it for the next couple of hours? I didn’t come all the way here for you to ignore me while you think about your step brother,” her use of the title makes me wince, she notices and flashes me an apologetic smile. “I get that you’re wary of him, but maybe it’s time for you to give him a piece of your mind. He has no right to tell you what to do and you need to let him know that.”

I purse my lips and then I nod, suddenly filled with renewed determination, one of them is to set things straight and the other is to make sure he realises that he doesn’t own me, I’m not his property… I’m not anyones property. So I nod once and wrap my arms around Shonda in an appreciative hug.

The next day I eagerly ask my step mother for Xander’s phone number, my eagerness faded into awkwardness when she begins a small ramble about how happy she was that I finally wanted to to get to know Xander after all those years.

“It’s been my dream for years to have you guys as close as an actual family!” She says excitedly as she airdrops his contact details. I think back to our kiss and the ungodly thoughts I’ve had about him, the disgust returns in full force and I awkwardly smile, mutter my thanks then I dart out of there as quickly as possible.

This was necessary, the sooner we sort this s**t out, the quicker I could let go of all the guilt I was feeling.

I quickly shoot Dax a text asking for us to meet tomorrow, then I type more hesistantly as I say the same thing to Xander.

-Of course, Lisa.

For some reason, I’m not surprised that he knows it’s me.