You are my Freedom

How Long is Enough

3rd Person POV:

Damon brings a bottle of blood for Stefan as Alaric is pulling up outside

"Brought you something to eat...100% Stefan diet approved. I wanted to see you drink something before I left. You know what will happen if you don't eat. You'll get all rotting and crusty."

"I'm not hungry." Stefan says sullenly.

Damon rolls his eyes, "Of course you are. We're eternally hungry. Take it. The human blood should be gone by now. You want to explain why you're still in here. Feeling sorry for yourself? Come on. Drink up."

When Stefan didn't give Damon lost his patience, "Fine. Starve. What do I care?"

Elena comes down to the basement to see Stefan

"Thank god your babysitter is here, now I have to go out tonight do you promise to behave?" Damon said mocking Stefan and then went upstairs leaving Elena and Stefan alone.

"How you feelin'? Damon says you need to drink that. You need it, Stefan. You can't survive without it."

"I don't want to survive."

"What? Don't say that."

Stefan sighs, "I'm sorry, Elena. No more. After what I've done, it has to end. I just want it over."

Elena decides to take a break and is sitting in the living room and talking to Clara

"Damon says he's just being dramatic and he's not gonna starve himself. But I think deep down he's worried."

Elena huffs, "Sure sounded like you guys were worried," she says snarkily,

"Elena I lost over a century with the man I love, and as horrible as it was it taught me to never take the time you have together for granted. So yes we were enjoying ourselves but that doesn't mean we don't both care for Stefan very much. I know he feels bad about hurting that girl and Lexi isn't here to help pick him back up again like usual but Stefan needs to learn to pick himself back up. Trust me he won't make it to the end of the week trying to keep this up. The pain will be unbearable and his survival instincts will prevail. You just have to give it more time."

"I know you care but...maybe if you tried to not take the time you have with Stefan for granted that would help. He just seems to be in a lot of pain."

"I tried to get through to him but if you want me to try again I will. And pain won't kill him, if he wants to torture himself to alleviate his conscious, let him. The pain will go away once he finally eats."

"I didn't mean physical pain." Elena corrects her,

"I know what you meant. Fighting the demons inside is always daunting and we can tell Stefan how much he means to us but ultimately he needs to fight this battle on his own. No one can do it for him."

"There has to be something else I can do to help him. What would you do if it were Damon?"

"Damon, wouldn't do this. We always knew we wanted to spend forever together, not matter how guilty he was feeling over something he wouldn't think of leaving me... Can I ask you something?" Elena nods and Clara continues, "What do you plan to do, did you and Stefan have a plan?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"I mean, were you going to become a vampire? Is Stefan downstairs betraying your forever or was this relationship always meant to be temporary... Maybe he doesn't have a good enough reason to stay."

Elena is slightly taken aback, "I... uh, we never really talked about it. I never really thought about it before."

"You have time now, its seems you should think about this. You are going to age and eventually die if you stay human, plus Stefan and you wouldn't be able to have children, is that something you want?"

Elena starts feeling a little defensive, "I mean yeah someday, but you and Damon probably thought you would have kids together too right?"

"Uhh, I suppose it would have been inevitable back then but no I never desired children. I worked my whole life, I just wanted to be with Damon and enjoy our time on earth together without anyone telling us what to do. How were we supposed to make sure our children ate balanced meals and acted properly when all we wanted to do was misbehave ourselves?"

"Yeah I guess I can't really picture Damon as a dad. I think I should go and check on him its been awhile."

"Would you like me to accompany you?" Clara offers,

Elena shakes her head, "No, its okay you should, um, you should stay up here... find something dangerous and fun to do. I'll be fine."

The women exchanged a smile and part ways.

Elena walks back down to the cellar.

"You know, Damon hasn't fed me vervain in a while. I could be at those bars in a flash, and you'd be dead." Stefan threatens her,

"Yeah, you could. But you won't."

"Please just go away. I don't want you here." Stefan was tired of pep talks.

Elena ignoring his request enters the cellar.

"What are you doing? Get out of here." He begs,

"No."

"You're taking a stupid risk. I could hurt you."

"Then I'm stupid. You need to drink this." Elena didn't know if she could promise Stefan forever but she was sure her love for him now was all the strength and reason he needed she just had to show him.

"Elena, get out of here, or you'll regret it."

"Drink." She urged him pushed the bottle closer to him.

"I said get out!" He knocks the bottle of blood from her hand. His face transformed. But Elena stood her ground trying to prove her love.

"No." Elena sits crossing her legs indian style, "Talk to me, Stefan. Why are you doing this?"

"I'm making the decision I should have made years ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have to feed in order to complete the transition."

"I know that."

"It was a choice I shouldn't have made." Stefan describes drinking from his own father to complete the transition and hangs his head ashamed. "How can you even look at me right now?" He asks.

"You need to be able to talk about these things, Stefan. I need to hear them. Come upstairs. We can talk about it more, and we'll keep talking as long as you need."

"You're so sure I'm ready?" Elena nods and pulls out Stefan's ring and places it on the cot next to him.

"And when you feel the same way...I'll be upstairs."

Grove Hill Residence with Damon and Alaric

"Find anything yet?" Damon asks,

"No, I looked everywhere. The place is...The place is clean."

"Well, I wouldn't beat myself up over it, man. What did you think you were gonna find, huh? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?"

"Oh, man. I...I gotta stop this. I can't...I can't keep searching for her."

Damon is actually surprised, "Really? After only two years? That's actually moderately healthy."

"Yeah how long did you search for Clara? 146?"

"Well, I didn't know she was a vampire so I technically wasn't searching for her. But if I had known I don't think I ever would have stopped."

"Ahh. I mean, no answer is enough. I keep thinking I wanna know why, when, you know, the precise moment. When my wife decided life with me wasn't enough."

"She charmed me, your wife Isobel. She talked a good game, man. She was smart. She had this excitement in her eyes. I probably should have known there was something different about her, some tie to Katherine."

"That's enough, Damon. I don't wanna hear anymore. I just don't want to waste any more of my life. Searching for answers that I really don't want. I'm through with Isobel. I...I'm done with all of this. Yeah."

Drama drama drama, Damon was regretting ever getting out of the bath with Clara.

Boarding House:

Elena is writing in her diary when Damon comes home.

"Ugh. God. You're still here?"

Elena raises an eyebrow, "Were you expecting anything else?"

"No."

"So, how was the "errand"?"

"Futile. Although, I think I witnessed the teacher having an existential crisis. Has Stefan eaten yet?"

"I thought you didn't care."

Damon shrugs, "Chalk it up to morbid curiosity."

"I think he's getting there. But he's got a lot of guilt that he has to deal with. And it doesn't help that you've spent the last 145 years punishing him for forcing you to change... I mean if you think about it if he hadn't you never would have known Clara was in that tomb. You would have spent eternity without her anyway. And now you're not maybe you should thank him."

"Fine, but don't start expecting good things from me now" Damon warns,

"Wouldn't dream of it"

Damon goes downstairs to find Stefan's cell empty, sighing he can guess where his brother went, to where it all started in the first place.

Damon races over to the Quarry and slowly approaches Stefan.

"Well this feels like deja vu"

"You shouldn't be here" Stefan tells him,

"Kinda think you got that the other way around Steffy, see I'm still wearing my daylight ring"

"Its better this way, eventually Elena will see that."

"Bullshit, quitting is the easier way but its never better"

"What would you know about it Damon?"

Damon sighs and tilts his head back, "Given all you know now, it didn't cross your mind?"

"What didn't cross my mind?"

"To ask, that if I thought my wife was human and had died or would die soon, why didn't I just stake myself and end it all."

Stefan seems shocked by this, "are you saying you tried to..."

"Yup, a couple of times. I hated you for so long but it wasn't because you forced me to change or that you were always our parent's favorite it was because as long as I was with you I knew I would never be free. And thats all I ever really wanted. But you were the one good thing about me... that I always did my best to protect you. Even when I hated you I couldn't ever really hurt you. It comes to me like breathing, I don't have to do it but it would feel wrong and unnatural to stop. It wasn't Clara that I felt I'd be letting down if I went through with my attempts it was myself. I didn't know how to stop being your brother even if I craved for nothing more I had to keep living because you were alive. And because of that I am alive to love Clara now, to see her and be happy with her every day... and that's because of you. I never thanked you for that... You might be the biggest most brooding pain in the ass but, without you I wouldn't be or have anything good, so thank you."

Stefan was shocked, he had never heard his brother talk like that. Damon walked closer and shook Stefan's hand palming him his daylight ring.

"I hope that never changes."

After that Damon returned back to the boarding house, it would be up to Stefan now.