The Billionaire's Ex-Wife

Chapter 8

"I'm sorry for what happened."

"She's always been strong. I just can't understand what would make her do this. She's not the type to harm herself."

"I'm also surprised by what she did. But there are some things she's going through that she probably thought she couldn't solve. And being her friend, I feel bad I didn't make her feel like she can lean on me."

"Don't blame yourself. You have been more a friend in a short time than that girl Stephanie, who she treated as family. If you hadn't told me what was going on, I wouldn't even know she was suffering all by herself. My poor sister." Anger is laced in that anguished voice.

I sighed. I just want to go back to sleep and not wake up at all. Dying should have been easy.

Apparently, not so much.

Jackie went to my room, saw the state I was in and immediately called an ambulance.

So here I was. Five days in the hospital being watched all the time by doctors and nurses.

Why the hell couldn't I even go peacefully? My brother didn't deserve to see me like this. Not when he's dedicated all his life to giving me a chance at a better life. He hasn't even had a single day free from worry. I should have been his hope, but now I'm just a burden.

The door opened, interrupting my thoughts. Jackie walked in, her expression a mixture of relief and pity. Another thing I didn't want to face today. I would be so sick to my stomach if they started giving me pitying gazes all day long.

"Hey Elle. You feeling okay?"

I closed my eyes for a brief second, trying not to roll my eyes at her. She's been asking the same question every day since I woke up. No, I am not okay. I just want to vanish. But the words didn't leave my mouth.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Good. I was hoping we could get some fresh air today. Why don't we go out to the garden?"

"I just want to stay here. You should go."

"And what? Leave you here all alone? Come on, Elle. A change of scenery would be good for you."

"You don't know what's good for me."

She let out a frustrated sigh, her shoulders stiffening. Then silence filled the room, tension rising as each second passed.

"And you think killing yourself is good for you, Elle?" She finally said the words that everyone was dying to ask but too afraid to say.

I looked at her angrily. How dare she question what I did when she hasn't had a single thing to worry about.

"Don't you dare think you know what I feel or think. You had everything handed to you all your life. Your parents sent you to the best schools, gave you an opportunity to explore what you wanted. Heck, they even supported you to build your own company when it's obviously a lousy idea. You think you would have achieved all that without your family's money? So don't judge me when you don't know what it's like to live like us."

"Wow. That's unfair of you to say, don't you think? I may have had the fortune to be born privileged, but I worked hard for everything I have now."

"Unfair? You think that was unfair? Unfair is when you decided I was better off living this wretched life. You should have just let me die!"

"How can you expect that from me?! I would have done what I did for any other person out there, let alone someone I considered my friend!"

"If I were your friend, you would not have meddled in my decision!"

"Oh god, do you hear yourself? You're angry, I totally understand that. But don't direct it at me. I don't deserve your hate. You, of all people, should know what it feels like to be hated when you didn't do anything wrong."

I had nothing to say in response. I was bursting with anger. At Maven for not believing me. At Steph for betraying me. And especially at myself for being so weak.

Jackie was right. It's not fair of me to be taking it out on her.

It took me a couple of minutes to calm down. "I'm sorry Jackie. You're right. I am mad. Not at you, but at myself. I just don't know how to continue living anymore. I feel like I lost everything. My brother, my niece... they will also suffer because of me."

"Oh, Elle, they would suffer more if you were not here with them. I know that life for you right now may not be worth living, but trust me, it will get better. You have me, your brother and Dani with you. You're not alone. If you want me to dress up as Ron to your Harry, I would gladly do that. You want to camp outside G-Dragon's house? I would do that too. Go to Turkey to meet your favorite actors? I'd be happy to come along. And if you want to go far away from here, I will accompany you. Just know that you will always have me. Us."

My lips started trembling, my eyes tearing. Her words touched something deep in my heart that I thought was forever gone after what Steph did.

I cried. Silently at first. But I couldn't keep the anguish, the anger, and the frustration flowing out of me. I bawled. My shoulders shook violently. My chest felt like it was going to explode. But I finally felt a tiny bit of hope too.

"It's okay." Jackie hugged me like I was a child, patting my hair, and comforting me. "I will always be here for you. Even when you said my company was a lousy idea," she snorted.

I pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. "Oh god, I am so sorry, Jackie. I didn't mean it. I just wanted to hurt you the way I was hurting."

She wiped my tears and held my face in her hands. "I know. Don't worry about it." After a few seconds, she added, "But don't you say that again, you bitch." And she playfully gave me a whack on the head.

A letter arrived two days later. It was from Cara.

The food I ate threatened to go back up the way it came. I dreaded what was written in the letter. Would she be disgusted? Disappointed? Sad?

I couldn't dawdle anymore, so I opened the letter, willing myself to be brave.

My dear Elle,

I've only just learned what happened while I was gone. They said horrible things about you, but my child, please know that I do not believe a word of it. I have known you only a short while, but I know deep in my bones that you have a good heart.

I couldn't phone you because both Maven and Bianca are keeping an eye on me. They no longer want me to have anything to do with you. I am old and I don't have many years left to live, so I didn't want to put a strain on our relationship. Forgive me, Elle, that to keep the peace with my grandchildren, I had to abandon you. I am so sorry, I hope you forgive me.

Manuel informed me that you are in the hospital right now. He also told me why. I am deeply ashamed and saddened that what happened caused you to do this to yourself. Oh, Elle, I hadn't imagined that the marriage I so wanted Maven to have would end this way. If I had, I would never have allowed him to meet you.

I pray that you get through this difficult time in your life. I believe in you. I always will. And my child, forget about us. We do not deserve you. Go live your life and fill it with happiness and adventure.

I love you, Elle.

I wiped the silent tears I shed while reading the letter. I might never see her again. But knowing that Cara still believed in me meant a lot to me.

***

"You sure you didn't leave anything important behind?" My brother asked for the last time.

"Yup," I answered.

Kevin, Dani and I were on our way to the airport. We would meet Jackie there. She convinced me to go with her to Switzerland, where she'll be partly managing her parents' business while also managing her own. She insisted I bring my brother and Dani with me as she needed someone to look after their mansion. I knew she only said that so we would all go together. So I could get over everything.

And I was really grateful. I knew I could never pay her back for her generosity. So I promised myself I would do my best and not waste the opportunity she gave me.

I would find myself again. And I would make them proud of me.