8 January 2016
341 Words
Keep gettin’ these pesky emails from some pesky family sayin’ they want to spend their pesky last-minute family vacation on me ranch. Why are they tellin’ me their plans on such short notice? They’ll be comin’ round on Monday but it’s already a Friday, doggone it! How am I supposed to prepare and welcome ‘em over in just 3 bloody days?!
This is mah beautiful home. Home sweet home. Ranch sweet ranch. Miles away from any form of annoying civilization in the area. I had me ranch tailor-decorated and a lot of stuff in here custom-made for MY comfort only. The family may not like it when they get here. I won’t be surprised — I'd be glad, even — if they get disappointed and uncomfy and decide to leave immediately or earlier. I wouldn’t have to deal with them, then. And shouldn’t their FOUR kids be gettin’ ready for school on the start of the new year or somethin’ instead of goin’ on vacation? I feel so sorry for them kids. They’ve got such pushy, annoying parents that’ve got all their priorities wrong.
RANDY.
I can’t stand gettin’ anymore emails from ‘em. So I simply said yes and they can come visit here on TWO conditions:
1) That they respect my working time and don’t bother me when I’m busy.
2) That they keep my ranch surroundings clean and unpolluted, and not leave and marks or evidence that they have set foot into my land.
3) That they are solely responsible for their own safety and wellbeing while being on my ranch. (Alright, add a THIRD condition)
They say they’ll be stayin’ for 1 month. Don’t know if I can tolerate them that long. Outta all the places in the world they gotta choose to come-a-callin’ to my place. My luck is real s**t sometimes.
RANDY.
- Writer
