The Crossing Trilogy

Chapter 9

Sydney carried their empty plates to the sink. “That was delicious. Love cold Chinese food.”

“How"s your head?” Jessie asked.

“Fine now that I"ve eaten.” She carried the coffee pot over to the table and refilled their cups.

“Thanks. So why don"t we go to Kelowna for the day? There"s some great spring blowout sales. We can start buying things for your new home.”

“Sounds like a plan. I can"t buy too much though. I still have a few weeks before I can get in. Not much room around here to store anything.”

“Not a problem. I"ve got a spare room we can fill up.” Jessie stood and downed her coffee. “This is going to be so much fun. My mother helped me get my stuff last year but we didn"t always see eye to eye. She"d of had my house looking like my grandmother"s. You and I however…” Jessie ran to the bedroom to get her things and left Sydney still drinking her coffee.

Sydney laughed and finished clearing the table. It really was cool to have a close friend to share her new adventure with.

The two-hour drive to Kelowna flew by fast. Once there they spent the afternoon filling Jessie"s car with kitchen dishes, cutlery, glasses and pots. Then they hit a linen sale and bought towels and bathroom accessories. Sydney checked out bedding for her Nan"s bedroom. She settled on a scalloped floral duvet in greens and blues which reversed to shades of green and blue stripes, matching a striped skirting. There were matching curtains, pillow covers and solids for throw pillows. They visited her Nan at her home and they all went out to dinner.

By the time Sydney and Jessie returned to Stoney Creek, it was dark. Jessie dropped Sydney off at the cabin and took her purchases to store at her place. Sydney closed the curtains and noticed a dark SUV parked in the road by her driveway. It caught her attention because it was still running. She turned off the lights in the cabin and peeked out of the curtains. The door opened and a man got out. He stood staring at her cabin. An eerie feeling passed over her. She knew he couldn"t see her but still, his gaze bore right through her. He climbed back into the truck. Sydney could make out his profile in the glow of the inner light. He turned towards the open door and reached out to pull it shut. Her heart began to pound. It was the man from the restaurant. She was sure of it. The one who stayed and stared at her. He started the engine and drove away. Okay. Now you"re stalking me.

Okay. Now you"re stalking me.She checked all the window locks and placed a kitchen chair on two legs with the back jammed up under the door handle. There was only one way into the cabin and no one would get in through this one. She flipped the outer porch light on to light up the place. She had no idea who this man was or what he wanted of her. Maybe, he"s harmless. But he has no right scaring the bejesus out of me. Maybe I should report him. Tomorrow, I"ll figure it out.

Maybe, he"s harmless. But he has no right scaring the bejesus out of me. Maybe I should report him. Tomorrow, I"ll figure it out.Sydney showered and crawled into bed ready for sleep. But her nerves were still jangled. Sleep evaded her. Then the wooden box and its contents came to mind. She rolled over to the bedside table and turned on the lamp. She lay still staring at the box. Her mixed feelings about the journals weren"t getting any better either. The only way to resolve her dilemma was to take action. Do it.

Do it.She propped herself up with pillows and retrieved the box. She opened the lid and picked up the top journal. She flipped the pages and noted it was three quarters full. This was the last of the four books. The urge to turn to the final entry and see what it said welled inside her. Sydney ached to know how close the last entry was to the date her mother left. She fought the impulse. No, I might be upset at what I find in those final pages. Start at the beginning and get to know her.

No, I might be upset at what I find in those final pages. Start at the beginning and get to know her.She replaced the last journal with the first one, when her mother was sixteen to seventeen years old and settled back into the pillows.

* * *

Grade 11, 1993-94

Grade 11, 1993-94September 9

September 9Dear Self,

Dear Self,Back in school, Grade 11. Got the teachers I wanted. Yay! Pam"s in most of my classes. Can"t wait to start volleyball this year and modern dance. W is in my home room class. He still likes me…barf. Of course, he sat right beside me. He"s such a dork! (I know, Self, be nice).

Back in school, Grade 11. Got the teachers I wanted. Yay! Pam"s in most of my classes. Can"t wait to start volleyball this year and modern dance. W is in my home room class. He still likes me…barf. Of course, he sat right beside me. He"s such a dork! (I know, Self, be nice).

September 17

September 17Dear Self,

Dear Self,Wow, homework is all ready heavy this year. Mr. S (history) is hilarious. Studying WW1I and he acts out the battles. Maybe I"ll like history this year…not. Got into drama though. So excited.

Wow, homework is all ready heavy this year. Mr. S (history) is hilarious. Studying WW1I and he acts out the battles. Maybe I"ll like history this year…not. Got into drama though. So excited.

October 2

October 2Dear Self,

Dear Self,So pissed. I"m sixteen and finally allowed to date. B asked me to the movies and Dad says he wants to meet him first. I"m not a kid anymore…hello. How embarrassing. No way I"m telling B that so I asked him to come over tomorrow to listen to my new Cyndi Lauper album. Finally got it. Oh girls just wanna have fun…oh ya!

So pissed. I"m sixteen and finally allowed to date. B asked me to the movies and Dad says he wants to meet him first. I"m not a kid anymore…hello. How embarrassing. No way I"m telling B that so I asked him to come over tomorrow to listen to my new Cyndi Lauper album. Finally got it. Oh girls just wanna have fun…oh ya!

October 13

October 13Dear Self,

Dear Self,B and I went to see the romantic comedy, He Said She Said with Kevin Bacon. Love him, loved the movie. B kissed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth…yuk. Don"t think I"ll date him anymore. Besides, he had bad breath.

B and I went to see the romantic comedy, He Said She Said with Kevin Bacon. Love him, loved the movie. B kissed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth…yuk. Don"t think I"ll date him anymore. Besides, he had bad breath.* * *

Sydney smiled. Her mother sounded like a typical teenager. She continued reading the entries which were enlightening and funny. They were an easy read and much to her surprise, she could relate to her mother"s teenage angst and troubles. Just like I was. Only it was my Nan who ruled the roost.

Just like I was. Only it was my Nan who ruled the roost.* * *

November 22

November 22Dear Self,

Dear Self,In about four months I"ll be seventeen. Can"t believe it. Sometimes I don"t think I"ll reach nineteen. Can"t wait to be independent and legal age. Don"t laugh but sometimes I don"t think I"ll ever grow up and be an adult. I think I might die before that happens. Guess I"m a true Aries. We crave excitement, adventure and above all—freedom. Life here on the farm certainly isn"t exciting. Oh…and we are impatient…and I certainly am.

In about four months I"ll be seventeen. Can"t believe it. Sometimes I don"t think I"ll reach nineteen. Can"t wait to be independent and legal age. Don"t laugh but sometimes I don"t think I"ll ever grow up and be an adult. I think I might die before that happens. Guess I"m a true Aries. We crave excitement, adventure and above all—freedom. Life here on the farm certainly isn"t exciting. Oh…and we are impatient…and I certainly am.

November 26

November 26Dear Self,

Dear Self,OMG…I"m grounded. Friday night I had a sleepover at Pam"s in town. She had some kids over. Her parents were always there to chaperone when I stayed but this time they went out. Mom and Dad think I lied but I didn"t know they wouldn"t be there. Worse…I got drunk and puked all over their bathroom. Pam"s father called my father at 3:00 a.m. and he drove into town to pick me up. The past two days have been hell.

OMG…I"m grounded. Friday night I had a sleepover at Pam"s in town. She had some kids over. Her parents were always there to chaperone when I stayed but this time they went out. Mom and Dad think I lied but I didn"t know they wouldn"t be there. Worse…I got drunk and puked all over their bathroom. Pam"s father called my father at 3:00 a.m. and he drove into town to pick me up. The past two days have been hell.

December 1

December 1Dear Self,

Dear Self,MY LIFE IS RUINED. Dad has pulled me from church now. He says he"s disappointed in the church. According to him, they"ve strayed from the true doctrine and are too liberal and that"s what"s wrong with kids today. We need more discipline and bible study. Okay, so I don"t care about missing prayers and the God thing, it"s the socials I"m going to miss. The church serves goodies after service and now I can"t go and spend time with my friends. Oh well, at least I can sleep in on Sundays. Yay!

MY LIFE IS RUINED. Dad has pulled me from church now. He says he"s disappointed in the church. According to him, they"ve strayed from the true doctrine and are too liberal and that"s what"s wrong with kids today. We need more discipline and bible study. Okay, so I don"t care about missing prayers and the God thing, it"s the socials I"m going to miss. The church serves goodies after service and now I can"t go and spend time with my friends. Oh well, at least I can sleep in on Sundays. Yay!

December 3

December 3Dear Self,

Dear Self,So guess who didn"t get to sleep in today (Sunday)? Just as I thought my life couldn"t get any worse, my father tells me he"s going to give me my bible lessons and study. Study? Like I don"t have enough homework to do. Not only did I have to read scriptures aloud, then I had to discuss what they meant. MY LIFE ISN"T JUST RUINED…IT"S OVER…

So guess who didn"t get to sleep in today (Sunday)? Just as I thought my life couldn"t get any worse, my father tells me he"s going to give me my bible lessons and study. Study? Like I don"t have enough homework to do. Not only did I have to read scriptures aloud, then I had to discuss what they meant. MY LIFE ISN"T JUST RUINED…IT"S OVER…* * *

Sydney put the journal down. Her thoughts turned to the bible lessons her mother had mentioned. Sydney closed her eyes and remembered her recollection of hiding in the lone magnolia tree from her grandfather. He was calling her to come and do her lessons. The memories flowed back to her at that moment. She was too young to read, but her grandfather read to her out of the bible. And some of the stories and things her grandfather told her about his God, scared the hell out of her. So he continued with the lessons even after my mother left. Strange that after he died and we moved to Kelowna, Nan never sent me to church. And I never saw a bible in our house ever.

So he continued with the lessons even after my mother left. Strange that after he died and we moved to Kelowna, Nan never sent me to church. And I never saw a bible in our house ever.She opened the journal and continued reading. There weren"t many entries during the winter months. She skimmed through to spring.

* * *

April 1

April 1Dear Self,

Dear Self,I made it! Today is my birthday. Yah, I know April Fool"s Day. Hey, that makes me unique right? One more year and I"m out of here. Pam and I have plans to move to Kelowna and share a place.

I made it! Today is my birthday. Yah, I know April Fool"s Day. Hey, that makes me unique right? One more year and I"m out of here. Pam and I have plans to move to Kelowna and share a place.

May 10

May 10Dear Self,

Dear Self,It"s really hot these days. Early spring. Working with Dad preparing hay fields. One thing I learned, bitching about it just gets him mad. Do the work, get it done and get back to my own life. It makes living with Dad easier. I"ve noticed he and mom barely talk anymore. No fights, just co-existing. I think my mom learned the same thing I did. Shut up, take his s**t and life runs smoothly. If that"s what marriage is, don"t want it.

It"s really hot these days. Early spring. Working with Dad preparing hay fields. One thing I learned, bitching about it just gets him mad. Do the work, get it done and get back to my own life. It makes living with Dad easier. I"ve noticed he and mom barely talk anymore. No fights, just co-existing. I think my mom learned the same thing I did. Shut up, take his s**t and life runs smoothly. If that"s what marriage is, don"t want it.

May 20

May 20Dear Self,

Dear Self,Going to the May Prom with T. Have to go with someone. He"s okay. Funny how last year I couldn"t wait to date. But they"re all such babies and all they want is s*x. I"ve had lots of dates but not with any one special. The b***h brigade are gossiping that I"m gay, "cause no one knows if I"m still a virgin or not. Good thing they all know my best bud, Pam, isn"t a virgin or we"d be labelled a couple. Only, the queen b***h, S was overheard once saying that Pam was probably bi. When you don"t know, make it up right? I don"t care. I"m not gay but what if I was? We don"t get to choose our DNA. We are what we are. Right?

Going to the May Prom with T. Have to go with someone. He"s okay. Funny how last year I couldn"t wait to date. But they"re all such babies and all they want is s*x. I"ve had lots of dates but not with any one special. The b***h brigade are gossiping that I"m gay, "cause no one knows if I"m still a virgin or not. Good thing they all know my best bud, Pam, isn"t a virgin or we"d be labelled a couple. Only, the queen b***h, S was overheard once saying that Pam was probably bi. When you don"t know, make it up right? I don"t care. I"m not gay but what if I was? We don"t get to choose our DNA. We are what we are. Right?