ON THE EDGE

CHAPTER 12

THE GUILT**

The sun had barely risen over the Shanghai skyline when Kai stepped into the apartment, his footsteps slow and heavy. He closed the door behind him quietly, like someone afraid to disturb a sleeping world.

He hadn't slept. Not really.

His head ached—not from drinking, but from overthinking. From the weight of guilt and confusion that clung to his every breath.

He had left her.

He had left Amara without a good word, without a goodbye, without even a thank you.

He hadn't meant to. But something inside him snapped the moment their bodies stopped moving. Something deep, hidden, broken.

He tried to forget it. But her touch still lingered on his skin. Her breath still echoed in his ears.

He passed through the hallway like a ghost and entered the kitchen, hoping the silence would somehow fix the storm raging inside him. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, chugging it down as if it would wash away what happened.

But it didn't.

"You're just getting in?"

Kai turned to see Ethan leaning against the wall, arms folded, eyes narrowed. He wore a plain white T-shirt and grey joggers, hair tousled like he just rolled out of bed.

"Yeah," Kai muttered, wiping his mouth.

Ethan stared at him for a beat, then pushed off the wall and walked over.

"You good?"

Kai didn't respond.

Ethan frowned, lowering his voice. "Kai… did you and Amara…?"

Kai nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders thick.

Ethan's eyes widened. "You slept with her?"

Another nod.

"And then what? It's normal bro, what's with the face. We left you guys to sort that out and you did it bro". Ethan said happily throwing him a punch.

Kai winced. "Yeah. I left her, just after we'd..."

Ethan groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Bro, seriously? What the hell?"

"I didn't know what to say," Kai muttered. "I panicked."

"You panicked? She's not a one-night stand off the street! She's Amara. You know what you and her been through. You know how this could affect her."

Kai sank into the kitchen stool, burying his face in his hands. "I know. I know, okay? I'm messed up."

Ethan sighed, pacing the kitchen. "No, man. You're not messed up. You're just scared. But that's no excuse."

Kai looked up at him, eyes weary. "You think I don't know that? I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to stay—I wanted to—but something in me just… shut down."

Ethan's expression softened a little. "I know your going through a lot man, bur this is Ama, your Ama not Vanessa or anyother woman. You still have a chance to fix it. Go talk to her. Go explain. Don't let her think you used her."

Kai didn't respond, but the guilt in his eyes was loud.

Meanwhile, across town, Amara sat alone at her apartment desk.

She hadn't touched her tea. She hadn't changed out of her robe. Her eyes were red, puffy, and still heavy from the tears she thought she'd buried long ago.

She didn't understand.

Last night felt… real. It wasn't just s*x. It was love. Meaningful. She'd given him all of her—heart, body, and soul.

And he'd just walked away.

She clutched her phone tightly in her hand.

She couldn't sit in silence anymore.

She needed someone.

"Jane?" she said softly into the phone after the call connected.

"Hey babe," Jane's voice came warm and cheerful. "You sound weird. Everything okay?"

"Can we meet?" Amara asked. "Please?"

---

They met later at the university cafeteria. Jane was already at a table, munching on dumplings and sipping from a cup of bubble tea.

Amara slid into the seat across from her slowly, her eyes tired.

Jane took one look at her and frowned. "What's wrong? You look like you haven't slept."

"I didn't."

Jane leaned forward. "Talk to me."

Amara hesitated. "I slept with Kai."

Jane's chopsticks froze mid-air. "Yeah not surprised, you guys needed to sort that out".

Jane stared, stunned. "Okay… okay. Wow. Okay. But… why do you look like he ran over your cat?

"I don't know what happened. One minute we were fighting this crazy tension between us, the next, we were in bed. And then…"

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Then?"

"He left. After everything… he just left. No goodbye. Said he didn't want to hurt me, He didn't even say he loved me, God was I just one night stand to him?". She had gone to a*****e early this morning to get the after s*x pills. She wasn't gonna carry an unwanted child like her. She wasn't making that mistake.

Jane blinked, then leaned back slowly. "You're serious?"

Amara nodded again.

Jane's brows drew together. "That's cold. Real cold."

"I don't understand what happened. It felt real. It felt like… love."

Jane scoffed. "Love doesn't walk out on you the next morning like a coward."

"Don't say that," Amara whispered. "Maybe something scared him."

"Maybe," Jane replied. "Or maybe he's just showing you who he really is."

Amara shook her head slowly, voice cracking. "But I wanted it. I wasn't scared. I wanted him."

Jane sighed and reached for Amara's hand. "Listen to me. You are strong, beautiful, and enough. If he couldn't see that, if he couldn't honour that—then he doesn't deserve to have you."

"But it wasn't just physical," Amara whispered. "I felt something deeper. It scared me too, Jane. But it felt like we had something."

"Then why did he run?" Jane said pointedly. "Why did he act like you were just a phase?"

Amara's silence was answer enough.

Jane leaned back. "Babe, I don't care how handsome or mysterious Kai is. There's something about him I've never liked. He's hiding something, and I don't want to see you get burned."

Amara blinked through the sting of tears, nodding slowly.

"I trusted him," she whispered. "And I don't know if I can come back from this."

Jane's voice was gentle. "Then don't. Move forward, no backwards Ama."

"I thought maybe he saw me differently," Amara said softly. "That he saw something worth loving."

Jane gave a sad smile. "You don't need his validation to be worth loving. You already are."

"And how did you put up with the s*x stuff" she asked jokingly.

Amara half smiling now says, "Movies Jane".

Across town, Kai stood by the window in the apartment, staring out at the city that never slowed down.

"I messed it up," he muttered.

Ethan looked up from the couch where he sat scrolling on his phone. "So what now?"

Kai didn't answer at first. He just leaned his forehead against the cool glass, the weight of silence bearing down on him.

"I keep thinking about the look on her face," Kai finally said. "She was so open. So trusting. And I just walked out."

"Then fix it," Ethan said simply. "You don't get to run and hide. Not from this."

Kai turned to him. "You think she'll even listen?"

"She might not. But if you care about her at all, you owe her more than silence."

Kai nodded slowly. The decision was forming in his chest.

It was time to stop hiding. Time to own up to what he did.

Even if she never forgave him.

He had to try.

And he had to take care of something too.