THE AFFAIR V: Another Trap
1181 Words
|CIRCE|
Lose control.
I wanted to laugh. But I couldn’t even bring myself to.
The memory of his body pinning mine, of me begging for more, played in my head on a constant loop. We both knew he wasn’t talking about driving under the influence of—I didn’t even know how many glasses—of wine.
I’d brushed past him without responding, trying not to inhale his cologne. That scent that had already corrupted all my senses and I don’t want to make it worse. My heart hadn’t stopped hammering as I fled to my car, his words coiling around me like a serpent, fangs piercing deep into my throat.
The next few days at university were a masterclass in deception.
On the outside, I was the same Circe I’d always been. Attending lectures. Taking notes. Working on my internship paperwork. Laughing at Elvena’s jokes.
On the inside, I was a wreck, a bundle of frayed nerves held together by sheer, desperate need to act normal.
In my financial management lecture, I found myself staring out the window, paranoid that a sleek black car parked across the street was his. My mind conjured his silhouette behind tinted glass until a passing bus broke the illusion.
You’re losing it, I told myself. He’s not watching you. You’re not that important.
But the words felt hollow. After the terrace, after that hand on my back, after “Things will be much more interesting now”—I didn’t know what I was to him. And that uncertainty was its own kind of torture.
After class, Elvena and I walked through the quad. Bright autumn sunshine starkly contrasted my dark, swirling thoughts.
“So.” Her tone was deceptively casual. “You survived the engagement party. How was it, really? Did Delson’s super-rich family scare you off? I bet they all wear monocles and talk about the stock market.”
I forced a laugh, but even to my own ears, it sounded brittle.
“No monocles, unfortunately. It… it went well. Everyone was really nice.”
Except for one person.
The memory of his hand on my back during that god-awful photo was a phantom brand I could still feel.
“Just ‘nice’?” Elvena pressed, unconvinced. “I saw a picture your mom posted. You, her, Delson, and some ridiculously handsome guy in a suit next to you. New family friend?”
How I wish.
I cleared my throat as blood turned to ice in my veins. “Oh, um, that’s Delson’s brother. He’s been living abroad.”
“Well, hello, Delson’s brother.” Elvena let out a low whistle. “You didn’t mention him. Did you talk to him?”
“Barely.” The lie came easier than it should have. “He was surrounded by people all night.”
Elvena gave me a long, sidelong glance. Then, mercifully, she changed the subject. “You know, amidst all this talk of new handsome uncles, any news about your mystery Mr. D?”
My heart skipped and I quickly steadied it.
“What for? It was what it was.” I waved a dismissive hand, projecting an air of nonchalant boredom I was nowhere near feeling. “That honestly doesn’t even bother me anymore. Yes, he was hot. The s*x was great. And that’s it. He was gone in the morning. End of story.”
I met her eyes, delivering the biggest lie of all with a practiced shrug.
“It’s not like we’re ever going to see each other again, right?”
WE DID!
The scream lived inside my chest, clawing to get out. I was so close to spilling my guts, into telling her everything. But I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t trust her. God, I trusted her more than myself. But because I wouldn’t drag her into this mess. This was mine. Mine to carry. Mine to hide.
The irony was suffocating. Every word I spoke was a betrayal of the terrifying truth.
Dax and I would see each other again. Whether I liked it or not.
Elvena seemed to accept my performance.
“I guess.” She sighed. “Well, are you coming to the library, or are you bailing on our study session?”
“Library, of course.” Grateful for the subject change, I fell into step beside her.
For a few blessed hours, I managed to lose myself in the dry, academic world of textbooks. The impending dread faded to a low hum in the back of my mind.
After our last subject, Elvena and I parted ways at the campus gates. I walked toward the parking lot, feeling the familiar relief of the day being over, when my phone chimed.
My mother’s smiling face appeared on the screen to a FaceTime call.
A genuine smile touched my lips for the first time all day. I swiped to answer.
“Hey, Mom.” I shifted my heavy backpack on my shoulder.
“Circe, darling! How was your day?” Her beaming face framed the camera, full of infectious joy.
“Good. Long, but good. I finally got my internship clearance, so I’m heading home now.”
“That’s wonderful news! Listen, I’m so glad I caught you. Delson had the most wonderful idea, and I wanted to tell you right away so you don’t make other plans.”
“Oh? What’s up?” I unlocked my car door and tossed my bag onto the passenger seat.
“He thought, since Dax is finally back for good, that we should have a proper family dinner. Not a big, stuffy party, just something quiet and intimate. So we can all spend real time together and properly get to know each other.”
Cold dread pooled in my stomach.
A dinner.
Just the four of us.
Before I could form a protest—an alibi, anything—Mom continued, oblivious.
“And,” she added brightly, “we can celebrate your upcoming internship too. It’s the perfect occasion.”
My knees buckled. Strength fled my body at the very thought of Dax and me sitting across a table. I leaned against my car for support, my knuckles white around my phone.
This soon. We’re doing this again this soon.
“So,” my mother’s voice continued, unaware of my sudden silence, “he already made a reservation for us tonight at Valeriano’s.”
The cheerful sounds of campus faded into a dull roar. The phone felt impossibly heavy in my hand. My vision tunneled. The world shrinking until it was nothing but my mother’s smiling, expectant face on the screen.
I opened my mouth to respond.
Nothing came out.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I could only stand there, frozen, while somewhere far away a voice I recognized as my own was screaming.
No. No. No.
Her voice, tinny with concern, crackled through the speaker.
“Honey? Are you there? You seem frozen on my screen. Is your connection bad? Circe, are you okay?”
No, Mom.
I am not okay with any of this!
- Writer
