Doctor Annabelle

inappropriate comments

Two days passed without Valentina showing up. She stayed in her room and Marilyn checked on her from time to time.

A very bad thought entered my head.

*What if we just let her stay here and get her another psychiatrist?. George would never know*

I quickly dismissed the idea as it came. Unlike most people , i had perfect control over my mind. It was around 5 and everyone was packing up meaning night shift was taking over. I stayed behind finishing up files and work through everything for the next day.

My work phone started ringing and it was Marilyn. I answered immediately worried because she only called when something is wrong

"What's wrong?"

"Valentina is having a meltdown. I tried calming her down but nothing is working. Permission to put her to sleep?" Her voice sounded really worried so i knew it was serious

"Not granted. I'm on my way" i hung up running towards the door and all the way to her room. Guards were not surprised to see me running because they knew this happened randomly when I had a patient

I always got the hopeless patients

I knocked on the door she unlocked it for me. I got to see Valentina curled on the floor shaking with her hands covering her ears crying out loud. They were cries for help.

"Wait outside" i said hearing Marilyn leave closing the door. I crouched down and picked the girl in my arms and lowered my head to her ear

"Everything will change. Can you hear my voice?" I held her tight and she nodded

I thought of a way to distract her from her own thoughts. I decided on scenarios. Just give her a little hope for what her future could be like

"Think about a year from now. You will take a trip to Venice. How are you going to get money for that though? Let's be realistic, you need to get a job. Ugh some jobs are shitty but if you get one and save money for that vacation...you might have to put that attitude tucked in your panties though. Why you gotta be so mean? By the way, you are creative with your insults ..."

I earned a breathy laugh. It was not exactly a laugh but she found it funny. She had stopped crying and she was now holding onto me, her head lying on my chest

"My bestfriend taught me" she said clearing her voice that was scratchy from crying

"Oh tell me about this bestfriend"

"Her name is Karen....i know. She lives up to the name too but she is actually sweet and a real good friend to me. We went to elementary school together and we have been attached to the hip ever since. She stayed with me in so many dark moments of my life and she cheered me up always. I really love her"

This was a positive response. I was destructing her mind from past traumas

"How did you meet? First time meeting"

"We both wanted to be cheerleaders. I went for auditions and the cheerleader rejected me. She was outside when I got out looking all sad, i asked her if she got rejected and she said yes. She smirked and dragged me back inside then started throwing those creative insults as you call them. She was a real Karen for sure. Since all i could do was stand there, she offered to teach me how to cuss"

"Wow what a good friend she is" i joked and she nodded laughing.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" I asked playing with her hair

"No but can i stay where I am till i fall asleep?" She held on to me tightly

"Okay"

I thought about how sweaty she is and how her tears socked through my white shirt. I was sitting on the floor rocking her body gently massaging her head

"I am sorry for being rude to you. I wanted to come back but I was too embarrassed to admit that I need you to help me." She admitted and I already had an idea that was the case

"So...you admit that something is wrong?" I asked

"No, I'm fine" she was trying to convince herself

"You have to admit that something is wrong before you try to fix it"

"I don't need to be fixed, I'm perfectly fine" she got so defensive

"if you are perfectly fine then why are your nails digging into my flesh drawing blood" i said not even wincing. Her short nails were sticking in my skin. She was quiet and I knew she was thinking of something to say. I also knew she was going to say something stupid by how long it took her time to find the perfect response

"I do not need your help. Not in that sense but you can f**k the depression out of me Doctor Annabelle" she buried her face in my boobs

"I am going home" i shuffled to move her from me but she held onto me tightly

"Please I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry"

"Right. I'm still leaving"

"I'm sorry doctor Annabelle. That was a stupid thing to say. I did not even mean it" she pleaded gripping onto me

"It's okay. Come for sessions okay? We can finally start from somewhere" i pushed her off me gently and stood up. She looked like she was going to cry. I sat on her bed and pat my hand on the side for her to sit down

"I know you did not mean it. Your response was sarcastic because you felt attacked. I don't blame you." My voice was calm to solidify that I took no offense even though she was out of line

"I'm really sorry still. That was really amateur of me"

"I forgive you. Get in bed" i said standing up and she got inside her bed

"Think about that vacation, okay?" She smiled and nodded lying down

"Goodnight" i Said before leaving the room.

I could feel the darkness radiating from her and I knew things were going to be different with this one. I could feel chaos laking just around. I could feel it coming

It's not allowed to physically comfort patients but it had been my way to calm them down.

It was why i lost a patient 2 years ago. I worried they were right about that rule but it really helps them calm down along with rambling. Their mind won't focus on the storm inside but will try to think about a solution to what I'm saying. Valentina calmed down when i asked the question about how she would afford it then i gave a solution and she thought about what type of job hence distracting her altogether.

Her rude response did not upset me but it warned me to stop giving her physical comfort before history repeated itself. I do believe i can comfort the whole world if i could and never fall for a patient

There was a mental block on that side and I just never got attracted to them. I wanted to help them and be there for them in their journey to understand their own minds and make it less violent but tolerable

I went home in need of a hot scorching shower to scrub off all the germs that got a taste of my skin then fell asleep afterwards

The next day my day was up to routine which i loved then lunch came. I knew she was coming at lunchtime and I listened to the ticking of the clock. She knocked right on time and i muttered a come in

She looked up at me and she looked sad but gave me a big fake smile before sitting down. She looked tired too and her eyes had circles from crying i suppose

"I...uh.." She thought about it i can tell. She thought about opening up and letting me help

"It's stupid really. It's just that I woke up feeling so drained. I was still here too which made me very sad. As in i woke up alive. I always wish the darkness sweep me away and I would be just gone. f**k I am so tired"

she looked at me with pleading eyes.

"What do you think you need to make you feel better for now?" I asked

"I don't know. I f*****g never know what to do with myself." She bit her lip trying to stop herself from crying

"Okay then let's trust me then. We will do a couple of things and see which one will help you. Remember, this is only for now so you can ease the pain for a few hours" i explained standing up

"O..okay" she looked so tired.

I hated it when it got bad like this. You just wish something would make it stop, anything to make it stop hurting. I was going to be that something she wished for years.

I was going to make it stop

*********