Who The Hell Am I?

Chapter 4 - New Beginnings

Life has a funny way of helping us go on the path we are supposed to be on. His path became the path of someone always gone and mine became the path of someone with possibilities of a new life. The people I met that summer changed my life forever and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I may have lost a lot when I left him but I gained so much more. I knew we were over early on that summer but I held on as long as I could. Eventually I met the man that would become my life line. He was like coming up for fresh air I could finally breath. I could finally see a future of happiness instead of one of despair. I knew long before anything happened between us that I was going to fall for him and boy did I. He was everything I wanted. He was hilarious and fun and always up to doing anything thrown at him. He was an amazing father to his daughter and that can be one of the biggest turn ons.

The first night we hooked up damn was it hot. We knew we wanted each other but the obstacles were still in the way. We took a chance on each other and it paid off. We made our way to his truck where he pulled me to him. No care in the world as to if anyone could see us. We were consumed by lust, want and alcohol and all we wanted was each other. From their I was hooked. No one I had ever been with could f**k me like he could. Maybe that’s part of the reason my ex and I would never work because I hid my real s****l wants from him but this man he found them out quickly and he wasn’t afraid to play . Toys, handcuffs, blindfolds, the orgasms that he could pull out of me were mind blowing. So then I started imagining a life with him and stories in my head of me leaving the man who had me caged and some day marrying the one who makes me breathe. Don’t get me wrong here I did not leave one for the other I was leaving regardless and he was just an added bonus.

When I finally left him I had never felt so free. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and I didn’t have to worry about what a man expected of me or if he would even let me go. I got a life and eventually became the person I was meant to be.

Look, I know I can’t put all the blame on him for how everything fell apart. I know I could have been more open and told him what I wanted in the bedroom but he was so against everything I was into so I never did.