Chapter 4
1031 Words
I lost, utterly and completely.
I stared at the photo for a long time, then stiffly stood up and went to the front desk to ask for my room card.
The receptionist asked, "Hasn't your boyfriend come back yet?"
I said, "He won't come back."
John Rogers, who had eyes only for me, would never come back.
Back in my room, I took a shower and lay down on the bed, feeling a bit dizzy.
John probably saw the missed calls, as my phone kept buzzing with notifications.
But I didn't want to answer any of them.
Everything in front of me was blurry. I didn't know if it was a memory or a dream, but I saw scenes from a long time ago.
When I saw him, John was holding a bouquet of jasmine flowers, confessing to me. The tall, handsome boy from high school was blushing and couldn't even finish half a sentence.
On the day the exam results came out, I lied to him and said I hadn't gotten into my first-choice school and would have to go to another city. He believed me, hugged me, and tears just started streaming down his face. That was the first time I'd ever seen him cry, and he looked both sad and ugly.
On his 22nd birthday, I flew to Pacshire just for him.
When I called him, he said in a frustrated tone that he missed me. I asked him to look down.
With an armful of jasmine flowers, I stood right under his apartment.
He stood on the windowsill, staring at me blankly for a long time, then rushed downstairs and pulled me tightly into his arms.
I couldn't make out his expression, but I heard him say in a hoarse, solemn voice, "Honey, when I return home, let's get married."
*****
The next day when I woke up, I was already in the hospital.
John sat by the bedside, holding my hand, with eyes red.
He said, "You caught a cold and had a fever yesterday. By the time I got back, you were already unconscious!"
"Are you crazy? If I hadn't gone back, you should have asked the front desk for another key card or got another room. Why wait for me?"
With a dry and sore throat, I hoarsely replied, "I don't know."
I didn't know why I had to wait for John to come back.
I didn't know why I had to come to Pacshire.
Actually, I've already figured out a lot of things back home, but I didn't know why I still flew all the way here just to torment myself.
Maybe I was just stupid.
Naively hoping that he might still turn back.
John held my hand and apologized quietly, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
I gazed at him for a long moment, then nodded.
He took two days off from his professor to stay at the hospital and take good care of me.
He didn't use his phone to chat anymore, nor did he ever mention anything that happened after he left me that day.
It was as if Eliz Hale never existed, as if everything about us was still the way it was a year ago.
It wasn't until that night, when I woke up in the middle of the night, that I realized John wasn't in the room.
There was a message from John on my phone.
John: Something came up at school. I went back for a bit. I'll be back soon.
Just as I was about to put my phone away, I saw an i********: post that Eliz had updated half an hour ago.
I had a nightmare tonight, but as soon as I made a phone call, someone came to keep me company. It's so nice.
The photo was a selfie of her sitting at the bedside, hugging a blanket with a teddy bear pattern, winking.
My head started buzzing.
The room in the photo was John's room.
That teddy bear blanket was personally chosen by me for John.
I suddenly remembered what John said to me when I first arrived in Pacshire.
"I've been in the middle of moving recently, so you can stay at a hotel first."
Moving? What a great move.
I immediately took a taxi to John's apartment. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, I saw John coming back from outside, carrying some things.
I hurriedly hid in the stairwell, and through a c***k in the door, I saw John open the door, and Eliz rushed out of the apartment to hug his neck.
"You're finally back."
John pulled her hand down and said, "Eliz, I told you not to do that."
She replied, "But I was scared."
Eliz leaned on his shoulder and coquettishly said, "Just this once, okay?"
John tightened his grip, but didn't push her away.
The silver couple bracelets, worn on their intertwined hands, glinted and stung my eyes.
Watching them go into the apartment together, I hid in the stairwell and called John.
"Where are you?" I heard my own voice trembling uncontrollably.
His voice was calm, "At school, there's a problem with the experimental data. I'll be back tomorrow morning."
He lied to me.
It was the first time I realized that John could deceive people so flawlessly.
I bit my lip hard, "But I want to see you now."
John hesitated for a moment and said, "Tomorrow, okay? I really can't leave right now."
I was firm, "No, I want to see you now!"
He fell silent, then said, "I'll bring you your favorite macarons tomorrow morning."
After saying that, he hung up before I could speak again.
The busy signal echoed on my phone, and I crouched in the stairwell, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face.
After returning to the hospital, I sat on the sickbed, lost in thought for an unknown amount of time.
Then, I called my professor.
There was no heartbreak, no hesitation.
But at that moment, it was like a whole truck of cement poured into my heart and then quickly solidified.
I said, "Professor, I have confirmed this exchange student's placement. I'll go with Ascar."
- Writer
