The Vampire Doctor

The First Impression

Like all the things that you belonged to and in turn, never belonged to you, and all the things that belonged to you and in turn did not belong to you, like your love who never gave you any attention. Like your love who deserted you when you needed him most. Like the love who assassinated your emotions, slay your longing and rubbed your love-sickness. Despite that, you call him your love, because he caused you a deep wound that only your very close one would have caused you. As a homeland that is skilled in harming you, aborting your madness and killing every seed of ambition in your soul.  Yet you can only call it your homeland. people who gave you above love more love and yet you can not emulate them on the throne of your heart. As a strange country that was justice to you and expanded for you when all lands were narrowed, including your homeland, yet you can not call it your homeland.

We have always fallen into the trap of names. I wish things were unnamed so that we could give things names so that we could name them in a way that befits them, grant them with names we think they deserve, or so that we would not panic when the names contradict their actions and characters. When I grew older, I wished things were still nameless as this would have saved us from  a lot of harm.

If The first impression, I thought and I still do,  love spark did not occur since the first moment, that means you are in front of the wrong person. I still learn more and more. of course, I may change my mind in the future because definitely, we will not learn from the first time, maybe ten, twenty, thirty, but we definitely will not learn from the first time, and although I have incurred the cost of the first impression. The first impression is nothing but a curse, to see someone for the first time in your life in a situation that happened to be similar to your attitudes. At this point, you have picked up the thing that you missed in everyone.

 So, You spend much time of your life overlooking all insulting shortcomings to prove that your first impression was right. Until you were slapped to wake up discovering that you have deceived yourself. Till reaching the fact that he was completely different from you and that you were both going in opposite directions. What a discovery in the end that no one looks like you even you don't look like yourself. Before you reached that truth, you had suffered more than usual.

I have discovered that neither pens nor papers can push you to write. Only someone must hurt you to the point that made you able to write. At first, I was writing for myself, then I started writing to all the suffering people. I found that everything I have  been through deserved to be written in a book to console people like her. Throughout those years, I helped all of my friends in distress to discover that time does not spare anyone from its misfortunes. To discover that I was the one who needed to talk about her pains to her friends and that sharing experiences is  as part of the healing process. Having the courage to talk about your pain one day means that you have gone through a large part of the recovery process. In different words, you are starting to detach from your story, and that you no longer take it seriously. Writing is killing people around you as if you were scattering their remains on your white papers so that nothing of them would stick in your memory. Only those who have been assassinated on paper will realize this. We keep those who mean much to us in the secrets of our memory and never throw them n***d in front of the readers. 

To begin my story from that moment when my life turned upside down. It was on a night in late spring when summer was timidly coming, my coughing was fierce, and my soft, loud, and of varying pitches and accents voice became a hoarse monotony and low. My loose chatter words became limited. Here where it would have been perfect if I could raise my hand and point out things. I was overwhelmed by crises and tribulations. I was the quickest to get sick in our house. But it was the first time that I lost my appetite and my voice. Day by day, my body and stomach pains were increasing. I stayed in bed and most of the time was asleep. Several doctors visited me, but no improvement. It never happened that I adhered to the medicines, however this time I did. I tried things that I would not have tried before, such as a drink of boiled guava leaves. I felt better with the phlegm dissolvers. Over overtime, the phlegm dissolvers no longer worked. I waited for several days and a week before I apologized to my professor at the university for not being able to participate in the presentations of my faculty group. I remember that we were about five students in this show. Our roles had not been assigned yet. In the evening, the teacher asked me if I modified my decision. Her question was painful, what decision human would take when he was not suitable for movement or speech. In the end, I found excuses for her. She thought that I was running away or some laziness leaked to me as she used to face such behaviors of her students. I Sent in our group chats:" I wish I could, I'm just so sick."

Her answer came to me quickly:" Get out of this chat right now."

I had no energy to be shocked, sad or reply I just walked out of the chat in silence. I was in pain then. At that minute, I wouldn't admit it to myself. I realized that those who suffer so much beyond what they are accustomed to do not have time to express their suffering. Because they are so busy saving themselves. The pain subsides and things return to their course, they will cry and weep.

Feelings, complaints, and grumbling are a luxury that you will not be able to practice while you are drowning.

It was painful to feel that my illness made me incompetent. My professor did not ask about my health later. Even the rest of my colleagues, who were in the same chat group didn't do. No one bothered to ask me about my condition because it is usual that I am not affected By such things. Now I am fragile and no one will notice it. They will never believe that I am human like them, however, I am much more sensitive. It is the tax we pay when we are strong or pretend to be strong.

Even our usual we disagree with it in some situations. When we do this, people will punish us for our usual guilt. At another timing, I would not wait or wish their proximity and question. I realized that at the time of illness, adversity, and losses, We shouldn't take fateful decisions at such times because when we become normal again, the dose of regret, self-blame, and guilt will be so much to poison us!!

A girl like me in her early twenties was not satisfied with the joy that she had finally fulfilled her dream of enrolling in medical school. Only to discover that misery is of two types, the first is to achieve your dream and the second is not to achieve it. I also discovered a misery of another kind is to discover that a dream is too much of what people dreamed around you. Due to the excess of what you saw in the reflection of their eyes and The pages of their faces, because of the excess of what you were breathing in the air around you, You thought it was your dream, and later you discover that it never was. However, you have no right to return, because you are no longer sure of what you want and what you do not desire, and you can no longer restrain regret and that your battles have become heavier than your battles with your family, however, they will wage war on you.

A girl who always felt like she was in the wrong place at the most wrong time, a girl if you talked to her, you would somehow feel that she was fleeing from legends or from an old novel on an old dusty shelf. A girl who was always running away from problems and only to discover that she was perfectly planning to drown. My father named me  Belkis, named me after a queen from a very ancient queen who ruled her people wisely and her kingdom flourished with science at a time when man was preoccupied with bringing his day's sustenance no more.

I  was always watching royal movies and series, a passing man who was like a friend asked me why I loved those kind of things, I replied him I always thought I was a princess, the passing friend smiled and nodded his head in agreement and left forever for hidden wisdom. I thought everyone crossed for a reason. No one Here crossed in vain without a goal. Everyone has a role, and I don't know what the role of this passerby was. perhaps he wanted to draw my attention to a behavior that my genes dictated to me without noticing, or is he just a foolish passerby who wanted to start a conversation with me to waste time, or maybe he saw something I couldn't see so he ran away.

In one of the universities of the pharaohs land  under the sky, and in front f trees and birds and the earth as a witness, I was committing my folly, which is not the first but the largest, where I fell into the trap of first impressions, a person whose face I did not recognize only I saw his gait from behind, a person whose gait I have never seen, an athletic with very white skin and his hair was very black. The earth almost shook under his feet.

For a moment I thought that he had fallen from an old book, my heart smiled, and it never smiled for humans. So my heart felt for a moment that it is perfect. it seemed to me as if I met him in a previous life, perhaps in a novel I read, a movie I watched, or perhaps transmigration of souls was real. I expelled these Thoughts from my mind so that my heart wouldn't pay the price. but it was already late. It was only a minute passed, perhaps less however, I paid for it from the pockets of my heart for the following three years.

I heard his friends calling him Michael Happy, then they disappeared inside one of my university buildings. I was taken away so I didn't remember the name of the building. By him, I knew that it is enough for you to see someone for less than sixty seconds and then they disappeared forever igniting the fuse of love in your heart.

Time passed heavily. I sometimes thought and sometimes ignored his memories. I recommended that My mind had almost gone crazy from the separation from Michael. MY mind hadn't accepted his saying goodbye after all. However, I was ready to give myself more enough time to let him out of my memory. I knew well that forgetting would not reap much in its first season and that it would require more attempts in the coming seasons. I asked about what happened to reach the starting point again alone and defenseless. I was the one who witnessed my crises and crazy storms. It was me who stayed here with me and remained for me every time. It was enough for me to stay alive with even the least of her energy. Today, after a thousand disappointments and a disappointment and a hundred years of disappointment, I would not cry. I overcame a tear while tears overcame me. I gave in to them. A question that bothered me wasn't I supposed to be numb from the constant pain. Why were our feelings renewed?! A suspended question like the rest of the pending inquiries whose fate was not much different from them.

I was immersed in darkness, groans and tears. Even if it may take a long time, the sun must rise one day. When the sun did for me again, I would be grateful for the tears that had already overcome me. As without them, I would not have seen a rainbow!!

The way was difficult, but what made me continue was that I realized if it were an easy one, everyone would do it. The discouraged were many of all kinds more than what I expected. They varied from my family worried about my  differences wanting to keep me  in my comfort zone. Friends who hated my preoccupation because it robbed me of them. And among my enemies were the pretenders of friendship and affection. They love me only in my failed phase. So their masks fell off faster and easier than I thought. I realized that most of my suspicions were not right. They were nothing except sins and the greatest ones. Among them were the smallest in mind and heart. They would never pay attention to me, and even if they liked me, They would throw the crumbs of their attention to make me disappointed more and more. So I shouldn't have taken all these harms personally. All insults never detracted from my destiny. 

Michael was loyal to desertion, so despite her, I became loyal to forget. My books succeeded and I  became famous and because of that many conflicts faced me  with her parents. They were not easy because I used to receive help and support from my parents. The treatment of my parents changed for the worse, then I soon saw in a dream that I was visiting a place, and every night I continued to see this dream. 

I went through a second health problem. Abandoning one love was not enough. I passed through cold, miserable, lean nights. Tears were my companion on those nights.

A friend told me that I must visit a new place and start a new life. I decided to take his advice and I began the nightmare discovering that my previous suffering was nothing.

The tragedies began when the plane lost its balance and fell somewhere on the land. I did not recognize what time was when people were screaming as the plane lost its balance despite all the trials of its crew. Then I found myself on an isolated snow ground. Everyone  died. I was the first and the last survivor. The place was scary, dark, and covered with snow. I thought that it was inevitable to die. I glimpsed a man with red eyes and a palace in the distance. I screamed:" No, not again " and lost consciousness. I saw him was about to pounce on me. When I got up, I found myself in the palace of a kingdom called Ivory kingdom. The news of the destroyed plane spread all over the world. Storms continued for several days, so they had to stay in the palace. Princess Joumania, the legitimate heir to the Kingdom of Ivory, appointed me as a doctor in the royal palace.

Days passed quietly in the palace, and the life I wished was found. But I discovered that it was the calm before the storm. soon a murder occurred in the palace, and I  was among the accused.

I encountered Doctor Hector, who happened to be the same Michael Happy. So lovers reunite together. I discovered that he was the one who rescued me in the storm and brought me to the palace. He sought to acquit me with his whole power. We encountered interesting events on our way to reach the truth. Both of us try to help the other without the other party's knowledge. With the increase of the killings in the palace, I asked Michael to escape from the palace. But Michael refused  to do so without pardoning his reasons. I sought to break the curse that was inflicted on Michael and followed a thread by thread until I reached the secret of breaking the curse of the vampire. For Michael, he discovered that I was the legitimate heir to the Kingdom of Ivory not Princess Joumania. He told Joumania, who  shew him her kindness and  promised to help him make me the queen. The bitter truth that she was plotting to get rid of that vampire forever.

Meanwhile, I saw his death without everyone else knew. I felt back into the pain of parting. His parting always came too early and tragic. It was his hobby to hurt me intentionally and unintentionally. I ran and hid in an underground house that Michael had told me to go to If I sensed danger. There I discovered who I was .I am the royal heir. I quickly  brought the evidence to my father, the king, and the validity of the evidence was verified. Officially, I became the legitimate heir.

Joumania and her followers were imprisoned until a decision would be made in their matter. I  kept remembering my lover. I could never forget, even if he asked her to do it in advance. Every time I saw a bride getting married to her lover, I cried. Whenever I saw two people separated, I cried. I cried every day With every sunset and every sunrise. There was nothing that would make me  forget my soulmate. people like him leave a vast void after them which it would never be filled. Unfortunately, people weren't like him. The king sent servants to me .For emergent matter.