His and Her Circumstances

Chapter 4 - When the flower blooms

Chapter 4 - When the flower blooms

I am dead tired.

I am trying to stay strong to show every single person in the company that I am not guilty of any charges. Funny thing is, no one even dares to clear the rumors with me even if they are obviously gossiping about my current situation.

Ahh..now that I think about it, it was just like with my neighbor ten years ago. The young man’s face and his mother suddenly entered my mind. At that time, I did not even bother to know the truth and just let out whatever information I had be the true happenings of that event.

This could be my karma for being so overwhelmingly cold and distant from other people.

A person, no matter how strong he or she is, will also crumble to dust if his surroundings are like ours.

People gang up to oppress whoever they think is easy for them. It is the natural superiority complex of the weak. Their capability to judge weakens when it involves the majority. No one wants to be ostracized and so their initial reaction will be to go with what the greater number believes in.

Anthony is already out of the count since he only deals with fairness and professionalism. He could somehow show kindness, but it would be gone if the two managed to make me the real villain of their love story.

The supposed to be reconciliation and moving on becomes an irreparable mess. I don’t have a doubt that I will be able to get out of this trouble as the winner, but the stress of dealing with all this craziness is making me question my life choices.

My only fault here is loving the wrong person.

All of the decisions that I have made me the strong and successful person that I am, but the happiness that I want to have together with all of my other achievements is nowhere in sight.

My seven-digit bank accounts, the pile of paid life insurance, the diploma, the master's degree, and all of the material achievements filed in my name seem worthless right now. I can’t use them to lessen the hatred and anxiety that I feel towards the people who make me look like a fool.

I did my best to always stay on top and set the perfect stage for all the people that I care about, but it always bites me back in the end.

I am so done with the pathetic excuse that my way of life is the root of all of my problems. I am happy that I am living the way I am so I could just completely quit the toxic thing that made me feel this way.

Lucas will be the last one. It’s not as if being with a man is a basic necessity in this world. I can still breathe and normally continue life even if I’m a single woman.

Dying as a happy spinster is not a bad choice.

I reached out to the car door knob when I saw the drops of tears on my dress. I did not even notice that I was already crying while driving my way back home. The sudden realization made me burst into tears more.

Why? Why? Why?

I never committed a sin worthy of being repaid for this, so why do I have to experience all of these hardships? I am so fed up with this life.

* * *

I only caught a glimpse of the woman next door this morning. I wanted to greet her a good Monday morning but she had already entered her car and driven away.

Her stoic face is as lovely as ever. Her long stride and hair were gracefully moving in unison. The confidence that she exudes is one of a kind. I can’t believe that this woman was on my bed last Friday night. I am already aware that she is pretty, but the way the sun shines on her made me think that I was completely wrong. She is not just pretty but overly gorgeous.

I can’t even compare her to any woman that I know. It was like she exists to be the sole person befitting the word beautiful.

The whole weekend that I used to devise a plan to snare her made me the trapped victim in the end.

Damn. I think I was bewitched by this old lady. I can confirm that what I’m feeling is no longer lust but infatuation. It is not good to dwell too much and I need to either divert my attention to someone else or satisfy my curiosity as soon as possible.

It is easier to do the former, but I think that only the latter would be able to satiate the hunger that I’m feeling inside.

My daring thoughts continued until I reached my workplace. I’m working part-time while on school vacation since my father completely cut off my allowance. All he said was he could no longer afford the expenses and I am old enough to support myself.

I smirk after remembering that he was saying those words while riding a brand new car.

I did not talk and just accepted it, since eighteen years is already long enough for all the troubles and animosity that I have gathered, and it is now time to start my own life. Cutting our relationship is the best gift that he could offer to me.

I entered the supermarket and changed into my uniform. I need to render more overtime if I want to have enough money for college. My biological mother insisted on supporting me but I refused since she is already struggling to pay all of her expenses.

I am aware that my father is consistently receiving child support from her after their divorce. There is also the divorce settlement that my mother had to pay and the expenses incurred during the process. Her debts are over her head and paying those could take a decade more.

I was only eight at that time, but the truth of the whole situation was deeply carved in my heart. My father is the one at fault and I won’t forgive him for deceiving everyone.

“We have new supplies for manual counting in the stockroom.”

I flinched when my co-worker, Sarah, nudged me to follow her to the stockroom. She is a year older than me and a university student. She is also my senior at work, so I don’t have much of a say when she asks me to help her with her job or other things.

I don’t hate her high and mighty attitude since we share a kinky relationship. A very kinky relationship.

We entered the stockroom and Sarah pushed me down the carpet prepared in advance for this play.

“My boyfriend was so damn useless last weekend. I had to act like I was crazy for him when he couldn’t even satisfy me a bit. Do me a favor and let me have a good round with you to start this week right.”

Break up with him if you think that he is useless. I wanted to say those words to her but Sarah had already hungrily devoured my mouth with her tongue. She tastes like an apple. I’m sure it is one of those flavored breath fresheners that were sold in this supermarket.

The way she sucks my lips could be compared to that of a baby desperate for her mother’s milk. I am usually already hard when a woman aggressively approaches me like this, but it is annoyingly different now.

I’m still soft and I don’t have a choice but to guide her head down that part to stimulate it.

“Suck it hard.”

Sarah teases me with her tongue and it seems effective since my vigor shows up in just a few seconds. I did not waste my time and started doing the did after wearing a rubber. Employees are not allowed to bring anything with them during working hours, but this woman is always keeping once inside her garments.

“Ahh… harder.”

She was already wet and was ready to accept me, so I pushed as hard as I could. Her boyfriend could be into vanilla if she couldn’t satisfy her like this. Sarah had been into messy and violent s*x, so she would naturally seek another guy to satiate her hunger for one.

I let Sarah have her fill and smoothly walked out of the place. Satisfying her leaves me hanging now. I need more and I could only think of one person who can give me the satisfaction that I deserve.

My mind is going crazy. It is not an understatement to say that she is the only person that I can think of right now. Her mouth tasted sweet that night even though she was completely drunk. The aftertaste of liquor being transferred to me was intoxicating.

Her touch is soft and yet rough at the same time. That could make me think twice if I were only doing it with a single woman.

She smelled like sunshine and spring, which was totally invigorating. I looked up above and touched my neck. This is definitely different from usual. I am missing her so much that it is starting to hurt.

Why? I wonder. We only met once if I were to exclude my childhood. She should not be different from my usual encounters with other women. I feel like my head is heating up because of the memories of that night.

If I can’t drag her back to me, then I am more than willing to play this tagging game.

* * *

My shift finished faster than usual and I hurriedly jumped onto my big bike to go home. Sarah was coaxing me to have another rendezvous, but her persistent persuasion only sounded like desperate taunting of a woman in heat to me. I was even disgusted for a moment when her hands touched my skin.

I am no longer in the mood to appease her, and having a rocky relationship with a woman like that won’t really harm me in any way. I am well aware that I’m not the only man that she is having a dirty relationship with.

I can’t understand her crook mindset at all. If she wants to set a record of sleeping with all the men in this world, then don’t commit a relationship that will only make the other party the biggest fool.

I am not the best man ever, but I at least have a conscience to not seriously involve myself with someone that I can’t see my future with. We are just both playing the losing battle if we insist on continuing the stupid game.

My bike reached the parking lot while still deliberating on how I should catch my neighbor. I removed my helmet and saw the familiar black car one block away from me.

Jackpot. That was her car. I just saw it this morning and the plate number was exactly the same. I won’t make a mistake now, since all I think about is her the whole time. Every little detail that I became aware of was not removed from my mind and has been being played since I realized my infatuation with her.

I stopped my engine and was about to approach her when I saw the woman’s body leaning to the floor. Did she drop something? If yes, then it would be my best chance to score a point.

I hurriedly walked toward her when I heard the little sobs coming from her direction. My feet automatically froze as if debating if it was all right to approach her right now.

My heart beats uncontrollably as I look at the woman that has become a completely different person. The strong person is no more and all I could see was a weak creature lying low on her own.

Something tinged within me as I heard her soft sobs and saw her tears dropping one by one on the dirty pavement. The lightness that I felt when I saw her was replaced with a suffocating emotion.

My brain stopped working and the next thing that I knew was that I was already hugging her with all my warmth.

“Don’t cry, please. Don’t cry.”

You are stronger than this, so please don’t cry. I wanted to console her but I didn’t know what else to do. Her sobbing intensified as she became aware of the force comforting her.

I opened the back seat of her car and led her inside. There, I silently let her continue to pour out all of the negative emotions that she is bottling within.

I never imagined myself being within a confined space with a woman I am lusting for and not doing anything.

I hate to admit it, but something scary is blooming in my heart for her, and I need to cut it as soon as possible.