Distilled

Chapter 15

I placed the engagement ring in her hand and I have never felt so alive in my entire life. She sat on my lap and placed the other ring on my finger. I took her in my arms and turned her around. I laid her on the grass and tickled her, I kissed her face, her mouth, her body and she laughed and kissed me back. It was perfect. After a while we went back to the house and Davina took it from me, claiming it was important, something like a fitting or whatever. I said goodbye and went to the office and found my father.

-Dad, I did what you said, she accepted.

-That's good, my son. I'm very happy for you two, you even match together.

-She drives me crazy dad, I've never felt this before.

-But you need to be careful, son. Alice has been through devastating situations and you need to remember that she is still very young, you are older than her. Not as much, but still. You must protect her and not hurt her more than she has already been hurt. Physically and psychologically.

-I would never do anything that could hurt you.

-I know son, I'm just playing my role of boring father.

I hugged him and left the office. I went to my room and in the closet, I found some pictures of Susana that she had given me as a gift. I crumpled them up and threw them all away, so I wouldn't risk Alice seeing them. Funny how I looked at the photos and didn't feel anything, I wondered if I had felt it before, but I wasn't sure.

After finishing the worksheets and sending them to my secretary's email, I went to take a shower, thinking about how much I wanted Alice to be there with me. Running her small hands over my body. Kissing me the way only she knew how, her hands were always cold and my body close to hers, always warm. Smoke came out when she touched me. I finished my shower and knocked on her door. She didn't answer anything, so I went in. The closet door was open and Alice was sitting on the floor, with laundry bags all around her. She was crying. I sat next to her and placed her on my lap.

-What is it, baby? Did you get hurt?

-No, your mother took me to buy these clothes. They are beautiful. But then when I was storing them here, I remembered that tomorrow is my mother's death anniversary. I miss her. My father wasn't a monster when she was with us. She was so beautiful, so kind, so…elegant.

-Shh, don't be like that. I hate to see you like this.

-I'm fine, it was just a memory. It's no use reliving the past. It's over and I have to go on.

I kissed her head and ran my hands through her hair. After a few minutes she calmed down and I got up from the floor with her on my lap. We lay there watching a movie and she didn't cry again. She held me as if she wanted to glue us together forever and I didn't let go. We watched a movie the rest of the night and Davina ordered pizza. We went downstairs and continued to watch the movie in the living room, and everyone joined us, including Jason, Sophie's boyfriend. Alice slept in my arms again. And I ended up sleeping on the couch too. Afterwards, Davina came to wake me up and told me to put Alice to bed. I put her to bed again, but this time she didn't say to stay, she was fast asleep. I left her in the bedroom and went to lie on my bed. I tossed from side to side, couldn't sleep, I was used to smelling strawberry in Alice's hair. It was a sleeping pill for me. I was afraid to go to sleep and again, to have nightmares, I didn't have them when I slept with Alie. I was very reluctant to lie on my bed, but after a while I gave up. She was a d**g to me, my personal d**g, and I, who had never been an addict, found myself getting out of bed in the middle of the night to get lost in that little girl's hair. As I lay on her bed, I brushed a lock of hair away from her forehead. She stirred and looked at me.

-I thought you weren't going to come. I couldn't sleep.

-But I left you sleeping.

-And as soon as you walked out the door I woke up. I can't sleep without you, it's crazy, right?

-No way. I couldn't sleep either.

She kissed me and called me close, I lay down and pulled her to me, when I smelled her hair, my body relaxed and I sighed. She snuggled into my arms and relaxed too, I guess I was her d**g too after all.

- Good night, my baby.

-Goodnight My Love.