I knew that I could never approach al Ramadi with a weapon, and if I failed at this attempt I would be killed instead.
I knew that al Ramadi liked to meet with the suicide bombers alone before they went off on their mission. It was his habit to kneel in prayer with the person, to wish them well on this day and in their afterlife. If I agreed to serve as a bomber, he would bring me into his room and no one would be there except me and al Ramadi. And I would have my chance.
Such an invitation didn"t go out until the bomber was fully committed to the act. The vest would be assembled and strapped in place around the person"s chest, but the detonator would not be inserted until after the prayer and just as the bomber departed for his mission. I knew all this because I had been studying al Ram
