Ivy's Diary

The Doubt

Christabel had been talking about the party like it was the biggest event that had ever happened in Westbridge College.

At some point, I started wondering if this girl was really the introvert she claimed to be.

She already had an outfit picked out, knew what she wanted to do with her hair, and somehow seemed to know everything about the party before it had even happened.

I just watched her prepare, amused.

Maybe this was what happened when you had sisters.

I remembered her telling me that there were eight children in her family and that she was the sixth child. The girls older than her were all her seniors, and I imagined she had probably learned a lot from them.

Me?

I was on my own.

I was the first child. No older sister to teach me how to dress for parties. No sister to whisper little secrets about boys or college life into my ears. Even my cousins weren't exactly the type I could run to for those things.

I was basically teaching myself everything.

And right then, I didn't even have an outfit for the party.

But honestly, I wasn't worried.

I hadn't even planned on attending in the first place. I didn't know parties were such a big thing in school.

Then I heard something that immediately changed my mind.

There would be free food.

Free food?

Suddenly, the party became interesting.

My plan was simple: go there, eat as much free food as my dignity allowed, take a drink, sit somewhere quietly and watch everyone else dance.

I wasn't going there to dance.

Absolutely not.

While Christabel continued preparing, my phone buzzed.

It was Jack.

Can we meet today? Maybe in the evening?

He sent a location within the school.

I stared at the message for a few seconds before replying.

Sure. I said

What time?

I gave him a time, and I picked one I knew I wouldn't have anything else doing.

When I told Christabel I was going out to meet someone, her face immediately lit up.

"Someone?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't start."

She started hailing me anyway, teasing me until I couldn't help laughing.

"Please, can you stop?"

"Okay, okay," she said, still laughing.

That girl was something else.

Later that evening, I went to meet Jack.

We sat around the school garden and talked.

Nothing serious. Just random conversations.

He told me I was quiet. He had noticed that I didn't really move around with crowds, except when I was with Christabel.

I laughed.

Maybe I really was that obvious.

Then he started asking about me.

Where I was from.

How many children were in my family.

What I liked.

What I didn't like.

The conversation was surprisingly easy.

There was something about Jack that made talking to him feel natural. He wasn't forcing anything. At least, not then.

Afterward, I felt hungry, he offered to escort me.

We walked together, still talking, and eventually stopped by the cafeteria. while I sat there eating, Jack stayed with me.

That was when I noticed it.

A group of people kept looking at me.

Not just once.

They would look at me, look away, then look again.

I tried to ignore them.

Maybe I was imagining it.

I didn't ask Jack about it.

After I finished eating, he escorted me back toward my hostel, and we eventually parted ways.

Later that evening, Christabel and I decided to go for a stroll.

We hadn't gone far when someone called me.

I turned.

It was one of the senior colleagues I'd noticed earlier.

Her name was Brit.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm fine."

She smiled before looking at me for a moment.

"I've noticed you're a very quiet girl."

I smiled awkwardly.

Then her tone changed.

"I just want you to be careful around these guys."

I frowned slightly.

"Why?"

She explained that new students often got a lot of attention when they first arrived. According to her, the guys liked approaching the new girls because they were new faces.

"They'll make you feel special," she said. "Don't let it get into your head."

I listened quietly.

She continued, explaining that once another batch of new students arrived, the attention would move to them and you'd suddenly become an "old cargo."

I almost laughed at that.

But deep down, I understood what she was saying.

I was new.

I didn't know how things worked here.

And maybe I needed to be careful.

"Okay," I finally said. "I've heard you."

She smiled and left.

Christabel had been waiting nearby.

As soon as I got back to her, she started asking questions.

"What did she want?"

I told her.

She listened, then shrugged.

"Maybe she's jealous."

I laughed.

"Whether she's jealous or not, I'm not even looking for anything serious with Jack."

And I meant it.

Jack was nice.

He was good to me.

But I wasn't in a hurry to enter another relationship.

When we got back to the hostel, I called Noah.

Of course, I did.

I spoke to Noah almost every day. He was my best friend, and there was hardly anything I didn't tell him.

So I told him about Jack.

I told him about Brit.

I told him about everything that happened.

We laughed. We talked. He gave me his opinions like he always did.

Then, somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Noah casually said something that made me pause.

"Angel and her boyfriend are having issues"

I sat up.

"Angel?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

He was still trying to explain when I said "why are you the one telling me when she haven't mentioned that to me"

Then he said something shocking

"She came to visit me four days ago"

I frowned

"How?"

He explained that Angel had come because she wanted help with some editing.

I didn't say anything immediately.

But something inside me didn't buy it.

Angel had been my colleague at the cyber cafe I worked before I entered school. She knew Ethan because he used to come to my workplace to see me.

She also knew Noah.

Not personally, exactly, but her boyfriend was Noah's friend.

And I'd noticed something about Angel whenever Noah's name came up.

She always seemed a little too interested.

Like she had a soft spot for him.

Apparently, her boyfriend had found out that she had visited Noah and had taken it the wrong way.

Noah said he had tried explaining that nothing happened.

He even said he was probably going to lose his friend's friendship because of the whole situation.

I listened.

"Okay."

But inside me, a tiny warning light had already come on.

Because one question wouldn't leave my mind.

If Angel really came just for editing, why didn't Noah tell me when it happened?

Why was he telling me now?

Maybe he didn't want me hearing it from someone else.

Maybe he was trying to make sure I heard it from him first.

Or maybe there was absolutely nothing to it.

I didn't know.

And I didn't want to accuse him of anything.

So I simply said, "Okay."

We continued talking until the conversation naturally ended.

When the call ended, I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

Angel.

Noah.

The visit.

Her relationship problems.

The whole thing felt strange.

But I kept it to myself.

I didn't tell Christabel.

I didn't tell anyone.

At the time, I thought I was simply overthinking.

I didn't know that Noah had just planted the first seed of doubt in my mind.