I Wonder.

My

LOCATION: PURA'S HOME

TIME: SEPTEMBER/8/4:07pm

Pura:

It's only been two days into our sessions and

Malum was so interesting from the way he talked to the way he told his stories about his past. Everything was so exciting and new. He was also so intelligent and carefree. He was everything that I wished he was. Everything I wished I was. Everything that I wanted in a guy really. He was a hidden gem that was too good to be true. In two days I have learned so much about him and I just can't get enough of his smile when he laughs at his own jokes or when he's confused but laughs and plays through it anyways. My favorite thing about him by far is when he ties up his hair and puts on his glasses when he is writing stuff about me. He's just so exhilarating.

"You can't put that in your report." He said through his fits of laughter. He snorted when he laughed and his eyes closed causing his nose wrinkling. He was like a pig. a cute pig.

"Okay so you used to be the mascot." I was laughing so hard that it hurt. I haven't laughed this hard in awhile.

"Yes my ex made me." I immediately stopped laughing and so did he. I had no idea he had a girlfriend and if so who was she. I knew almost everything about everyone. It wasn't intentional or because I had interest. I was just very observant and Dawn told me all the gossip. But it still doesn't make sense that she didn't even know who he was when I told her about him at lunch.

"Who was she?” I mumbled hesitantly. To be honest I surprised myself. I’m not the type of person who asks questions like that.

"I don't want to talk about it." Before I could even get out my sentence he cut me off. Must have been a bad break up. I didn't push it because I hate it when Dawn pushes me about Liam. Who has been acting rather strange lately. Not Dawn but Liam. He's just giving me a lot of space which is confusing because normally he feels a little too close.

I looked back at Malum and noticed the shift in him. He was frowning and was no longer full of light but more like a shade that a palm tree gives you. It still felt nice but it was such a drastic change in moods that it was hard to just move on. We just sat there in awkward silence not really saying anything or looking at each other. I'm sort of sad he even brought it up.

"We don't have to get into it, I was just curious." He nodded and smiled at me.

"Yeah well I better get going Pura, have a nice night." And with that he stood up, fixed the pillows on the couch and waved himself off. I couldn't believe how fast this all changed. How quickly he could just cut out like that. It was almost as if that was normal for him.

I walked out of my room and stood at the edge of the banister to see if he was gone yet. When I reached over he was still there putting in his shoes.

"Malum." He turned around and looked up at me with that smile that had slightly grown on me. I smiled back not knowing what to do. I didn't plan out this much. I just didn’t want him to go.

"I'm home Bitches!" In one fraction of a second the door to my house opened with full force and Malum was so close to the door he got hit and fell to the ground, my house doors were pretty big. Taller than the average human so it basically hit him from mid back to the top of his head. It sounded like he broke something.

"Why. Do you guys have a door stoppe- oohhh f**k he is dead." I ignored Lumen stupid comments and ran down the stairs. God I hope he's okay. I kneeled down to the ground and felt the back of his head. No blood. Then I felt his neck for something, anything. It took a second to find but I could feel a pulse. Most of my worries went away but there was still this heavy feeling in my heart even though Malum was just knocked out and not dead.

I turned to my brother, hitting him in the back of his big ass head as hard as I could.

"Aye what was that for?" I got ready to hit him again but this time he dodged it. Little fucker.

"Who the f**k comes in THEIR own house like that! You know what time it is and you know I'm the only one home like what was there to accomplish!"

"Oh hey Lumen I missed you so much while you were away for three months, it's nice to see you, would have been nice." He mocked me and I swear I wish I could hit him with a door.

“Don’t start with me right now Lumen I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm look what you did.” I point to the passed out boy on our entryway floor.

“It was an accident.” I mocked his words and just turned to look at Malum again. What am I going to do with him?

"By the way i***t, I didn't miss you for three months. It is terrible to see you. It would have been nice if you didn't hit my friend with a door." He rolled his eyes and looked down at Malum's unconscious body. His eyes did kinda soften a tad.

"What guy just stands in front of a door?" He said while scooping up Malum off the floor as if it was nothing, carrying him to the couch in the living room. At least he’s not completely useless

"A guy who's not expecting an i***t who is stupidly dangerous on the other side of it." My brother let out a laugh and laid Malum down gently on the couch. Looking at this from a different perspective I couldn’t help but chuckle a little too.

"Thanks for putting him there." I said looking at Malum who is still very much out cold.

"I'm glad you got a new boyfriend your last one was a piece of shit." I smiled not even wanting to answer or get into a fight about Liam.

"Yeah mom and dad made me."

"Good. Wouldn't want to have to beat his ass, Again" I rolled my eyes at my older protective brother. I couldn't find it in me to tell him the truth and even if I did he'd tell our parents. I wouldn't want to break their hearts. The fact that I couldn't give up one thing for them when all they did was make sacrifices for me made me feel shitty. The worst part is sometimes I feel like I'm risking it all for what, Love? Sometimes the love me and Liam have, it just feels so far away. Sometimes it feels like no matter how patient I am I'll never get there.