Ways to Say Love

Chapter Ten

I hadn’t realized that everyone in my house was asleep until we were walking through my front door and all of the lights were off. Normally my friends and I would just hang out anyways, but normally I wasn’t with my girlfriend.

Normally there was no girlfriend.

Aspen and I walked up to my bedroom, and she looked completely calm and casual. I tried to mimic how calm she was, but on the inside I was a freaking mess. Mom and Dad would probably be really mad if they knew that I had a girl over right now, but then again Mom and Dad never really get mad at me for anything. I think they both feel guilty over how life was like seven years ago, so they don’t punish me that often; it’s actually really stupid.

When we walked into my room I was made aware of the messy state it had been left in. There were clothes thrown about, my piles of books had all toppled over, and my bed looked like it had never been made before. I hurriedly attempted to clean up my mess while Aspen stood in the doorway laughing.

“Don’t worry,” her words were covered in giggles, “my room looks the exact same way. I’m not sure there is anyone who has a clean room before they go to a party.”

Aspen walked over to my bed and sat on it, with her head leaning against my wall. I liked the way she felt comfortable around me, and how she just sat where she wanted. I don’t think I would be like that if we were at her house right now.

“Do you have a pair of sweatpants or something I can wear? These clothes aren’t exactly comfortable.” Aspen pulled back her jean jacket and tossed it on the chair at my desk. She had better aim than I did.

I sorted through my closet and pulled out a pair of black sweats and a red t shirt from my old school. The words were faded and it was too big for me, so there was no way it would remotely fit Aspen.

Aspen jumped up from my bed, and tiptoed into the washroom across the hall. I crawled onto my bed and sat beside where she had been sitting before, waiting for her to come back.

When Aspen walked in, I had to cover my mouth to make sure my laughter didn’t wake up anyone. The sweatpants were way too big for her, she had rolled the waistband to make sure they didn’t fall down, and the shirt looked like it could be a dress for her.

“Shut up,” Aspen swatted my arm playfully as she sat down on the bed beside me. Her arm folded around the front of my waist, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and my fingers twisted around her hair. “This is way better than the party.”

Another laugh left my lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever agreed on anything more.”

My heartbeat was racing, and I wasn’t sure I was even breathing. The way that Aspen’s was body was curved into mine was making my head spin.

Aspen lifted her head up from my shoulder, and her big eyes met mine. She brought her hand up to the back of my neck, and her thumb dragged across my cold skin. I wondered if Aspen knew the way it drove me crazy. My lips felt dry and numb so I dragged my tongue across them quickly, which only made her laugh.

I looked at her, and noticed every one of her features. The way her small nose curved up towards the sky. How her fingernails that always tapped a beat on my hand were painted a dark brown. And how there was a small scar in her forehead that I had never noticed; I suppose it was usually covered by her curls.

Her eyes flickered shut, and I shut mine once I noticed the way she was leaning in. Her lips brushed against mine, softly, like she’s testing the waters. Every thought that has ever crossed my mind is gone, and all I can think about is kissing Aspen. I can feel myself being lost in the way her body melts into mine, but when she’s laying down beside me I can’t pull myself away.

My hands ran down her the curve of her spine until they lay resting on her hips. The kiss didn’t feel comforting or innocent the way it had before, instead it was filled with passion and longing for one another. It felt as if all the air had escaped my lungs, but I didn’t mind as long as I was kissing her.

I was almost scared to pull away from the kiss, worried that Aspen would realize it wasn’t me that she wanted to be kissing, but I was forced to as I felt her hands leave my face. She stared back at me for what felt like ages, not saying a word. I couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Was I supposed to try and sound seductive, or was I supposed to be romantic?

The corner of Aspen’s lips began to turn upwards, and she broke into a fit of laughter. I wasn’t sure what she was laughing at, but her laugh was contagious and suddenly the only sounds you could hear were Aspen and I trying to contain our laughter and shut each other up.

I couldn’t recall when it happened, but Aspen and I were now lying on my bed with our heads sharing one pillow. Her lips were wrapped in my t shirt, and my arms wrapped around her shoulder so there was no space left between us.

I wanted to know everything about her. Her first memory, her favourite person, what makes her laugh, does she like her laugh? Everything.

“What are you thinking?” I could never read her expression; she always looked like she was in a far off place and was having the time of her life. She was one of those girls who never stopped looking beautiful, even when they weren’t trying.

“I’m thinking about how much I love being here with you.” Her smile was faint, but present, and her cheeks were a rosy shade of red. “Do you know how it feels when you get a new package in the mail, one that you’ve been waiting for forever, and when you rip it open you get that little jolt of pure happiness deep inside your stomach? That’s how it feels sitting here with you. You’re like the package that I’ve been waiting for.”

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

“What would your last meal be?” Aspen was dragging her hand up and down my arm, and my skin flared where she touched. Her hair was an absolute mess, and she was wrapped in my blanket wrapped up in me. It made it extremely hard to focus on answering her question.

“I’ve never really thought about that. I eat a lot of hot dogs and hamburgers; I guess it would suck if I didn’t get to eat one of those again before I died.” Her laugh rang throughout my room, and I probably sounded like an i***t to her. Aspen probably would have some extravagant gourmet meal with sparkling champagne.

“Of course you would choose someone barbecued! You’re such a baseball junkie, Aaron.” She gave me a little push and her smile made the corner of her eyes crinkle, “I think about this all the time. I would have deep fried pickles with chili cheese nachos for a starter, curly fries and mashed potatoes for my entree, and a chocolate fudge cake for dessert.” Her answer was the least bit close to what I was thinking she would say, and it sounded absolutely revolting.

“Aspen, that is probably the unhealthiest meal I have ever heard. You would die before you even finished your appetizer!” The thought of it made my stomach turn.

“That’s the point! If it’s my last meal then that means I’m dying, so why not make it delicious?” She stuck her tongue out at me mockingly, “If you get to be a baseball junkie, I get to be a food junkie. Also, you’re the one that chose a freaking hot dog! Who are you to judge?”

“Aspen,” I sighed at her giggle, “there is a huge difference between those two things. For example, baseball is a sport, which improves your health and prolongs your life. Being a baseball junkie is a good thing. Eating enough chocolate cake to kill you instantly is not healthy, nor does it remotely compare to one singular hot dog. And I also said a hamburger. So I win.”

A loud yawn escaped from Aspen’s lips, and my own yawn followed. I noticed the way she was barely keeping her eyes open, and I felt a tired smile on my face. My eyes fluttered shut, and I struggled to keep them open. I took a peak at Aspen’s face, and her eyes were already shut. Her lips parted open slightly, and her breathing was slowed. I kissed Aspen’s forehead and mumbled a goodnight before letting my eyes shut.

I could feel something moving beside me, and I opened my eyes abruptly. Aspen was turning over in my bed beside me, and her head was laying on my chest with her arms tangled in mine. I nudged her slightly and her face scrunched up.

“What?” her voice was groggy and she rubbed her eyes a lot before actually opening them. “Aaron? What time is it?”

“I’m not sure, probably just a little bit after midnight. I guess we fell asleep.” My voice was even groggier than hers, and I didn’t even want to think about how I looked.

She wiggled out from my arms and I instantly missed her touch. Aspen shot me an alluring smile as she tore my curtains open, revealing a blinding light coming from the sun. I pulled out my phone to check the time, confused about the overwhelming sunlight. 7:30am.

“Aaron! I should have been home seven hours ago,” she crawled her way back onto my bed and grabbed my hand, pulling me up with her. “My parents are going to kill me.”

Aspen picked up her clothes off of my desk, and ran into the washroom to get changed. I stiffened a laugh as she dragged me down the stairs, tying her hair up hurriedly as she raced to my front door.

“I read once that an eternity can feel like one hour when you’re with the right person.”

Aspen stopped in front of the door and turned to look at me. I couldn’t understand the look in her eyes, but I liked it. She intertwined her hands with mine and it burned where she touched me. I didn’t think there was anything that could ever feel better than her touch. “You should really stop saying stuff like that, you know. It makes it quite difficult to leave you.”

“Stuff like what?” I couldn’t understand what she was talking about, and her eyes were burning a hole in me; she looked at me in a way that made me feel like a million dollars.

She lifted her hand up to my cheek and brushed her thumb back and forth under my eye. “Stuff so intelligent, and charming. Stuff that makes me want to kiss you.”

I pressed my forehead against hers and whispered, barely audible, “Why don’t you just kiss me then?” I didn’t even feel anxious about staying things like that after spending a whole night with her.

I could hear banging around upstairs; I tried to ignore it but Aspen did not. She tore away from me right when Maylie appeared in the middle of the stairs. Her hair was messier than Aspen’s, which seemed impossible. Her pink unicorn pjs were rolled up at completely different lengths and covered in old stains. Mom had tried to get her to throw them out, but Maylie insisted they were her lucky pajamas.

“Aaron! Can you make me pancakes? Hi Aspen, when did you get here?” Maylie’s face lit up when she noticed Aspen, and her high-pitched voice rang throughout the house. “Were you here all night? Where are your jammies?”

Aspen looked at me for an idea of what to say, and I shrugged my shoulders. Now that Maylie had seen Aspen here, there was definitely no way Mom and Dad wouldn’t find out.

“Sorry Maylie, I’ve really got to get going. I’ll see you soon though.” Aspen waved goodbye to Maylie as she opened the door, and her eyes sparkled a little when she looked at me. I tried to remember how to speak when I croaked out goodbye before she shut the door.

I watched her get in her car and drive away; I could hear her loud music playing even from inside the house, and it brought a smile to my face. I brought Maylie into the kitchen and put cartoons on the TV for her while I made her pancakes. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out, revealing two texts from Aspen.

If I kissed you, I’m not sure I would’ve been able to stop. And the quicker I got home, the less deceased I would be.

Also, nice morning hair. Kind of like a mix between Harry Styles and Harry Potter – book version, of course. Xo.