Pulling Through

HOPES

Ally sat down on the toilet holding the negative pregnancy test against her chest, crying her soul out for the nth time. She remained seated for a while and allowed herself to shed a few more tears before angrily tossing the damn thing into the trash bin.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and furiously wiped her face, squaring her shoulders and exiting the room.

Then she went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, silence lingering around her. Gus was out of town playing a gig for Tony´s place, she had preferred to stay home as she hadn´t been feeling much like playing roadie… or much like anything lately.

They´ve already changed doctors twice and all they ever did was resetting her cycles and giving her more clomiphene to try and trigger ovulation, but that wasn´t even working now either, most of the time follicles never matured and they´ve already lost months and a lot of money trying to figure this out.

When they´d finally grown enough this month again, she´d inevitably gotten her hopes high. But well, there she was, already back at square one, and it just crushed her soul. She felt useless, she felt incomplete and she felt tired as f**k.

Ally downed a few more beers before taking a shower and heading out the door. She found a cab and asked the driver to take her downtown to one of her favorite bars back in the day.

She sat at the counter chugging beer after beer, then switching to shots when the emptiness she was feeling started pounding at her chest and she fought to drown it down to no avail.

When the bartender finally cut her off, she drank the glass of water he offered her and, stammering, she thanked him and payed for her rounds.

Then she stumbled clumsily through the entrance and to the street, tripping on her feet and landing on the floor just a few steps ahead.

-s**t!- she muttered- as she struggled to get back on her feet, holding to the wall for support. She leaned onto it, trying to sober up in vain, her surroundings spinning all around her, making her dizzy. A wave of nausea hit her soon afterwards and she bent down to puke the poor contents of her stomach out.

Panting, she shakily stood up again and that´s when she found herself face to face with two gangly looking teens. Both of them wearing baggy pants and oversized hoodies, the seemingly oldest thug brandishing a knife to her neck.

-Yo, b***h, give us your phone and money!- The youngest one spat with a childish voice. He was barely a kid and Ally couldn´t help to start laughing uncontrollably at the absurdity of the situation.

“Where the f**k are these children´s parents” she thought to herself “s**t! Here I am, trying my hardest and then the ones who don´t even deserve it at all are just granted this gift… and these are the f*****g spawns they give birth to”

She cracked up, unable to stop, her bitter shrieks shredding her throat, tears rolling down her cheeks as she bent over, holding her stomach.

-What are you laughing about b***h!- the oldest one angrily shouted, slapping her face.

-Yeah! What´s so funny? w***e! – the other one threw his fist to her face and punched her in the eye.

She winced at the pain, but her laughter remained, pouring out of her mouth and making them fume.

They charged her and tackled her down to the floor, kicking her body a few times, pushing the breath away from her lungs. A moment later she heard some faint yelling coming from somewhere nearby and she felt them stop and run away, not before fishing inside her pockets and taking out her phone and a fifty bill.

Ally stayed down, trying to gather enough force to stand up, hearing some quick steps running towards her.

-Ma´am! – A male´s voice said as she felt a pair of hands pulling her up- Are you ok? Hang in there... We´ve already called the cops!

She turned her head to face him and found a blond guy in his thirties, holding her by the shoulders, while a young woman stood a few feet away from him, talking on the phone.

Ally tried to compose herself and drunkenly walk away from them, she just wanted to go home. But he wouldn´t let her, pinning her into place as she tried to fight him back. So, when the cops arrived a few minutes later she was already making a scene, shouting and talking nonsense as she tried to resist their attempts to calm her down.

They ended up taking her to the precinct and shoving her into a cell after a nurse checked on her black eye briefly as well as her bruised ribs. They charged her for public intoxication and just left her there to sober up, among a couple prostitutes and a homeless woman.

The sun was already rising when she was taken to the hall and she spotted Saul with a very concerned look on his face standing by the counter. They released her to him as soon as he posted her bond and she dragged her feet up to where he stood.

He threw his jacket over her shoulders and did a quick inspection of her face

-What the f**k Ally? What in hell were you thinking? Why would you ever resist a mugging? Look at you!- he said running a finger down her cheek.

-You wouldn´t understand- she sighed, looking down her feet.

-Try me- he replied, glaring at her- We´ve got a long drive to your place, Gus is already on his way there.

When they approached their apartment Gus´s truck was already parked outside and she could see him pacing restlessly at the entrance.

Her eyes traveled down her hands in shame and Saul stole a glance at her as he parked by him.

-You need to talk this out Ally- Saul whispered before killing the engine- Or this is gonna end up tearing you apart.

-I know, Saul, I do.

They both got off the vehicle and Gus hurried himself to hug her, making her yelp in pain when he crushed her sore frame.

-Oh my God Love! Why? – he cried, putting her back on the floor and scanning her up and down. His fingers darting to her swollen eye.

-They were children, Gus! Children! – she sobbed, holding onto him, bawling her eyes out.

Gus´s sight darted to Saul´s face, who offered him a comforting look and a small smile before waving him goodbye.

-Thanks- Gus mouthed to him as he held Ally´s frame to his chest, running his hand down her back.

He watched him nod and go back to his car, driving away.