Alpha Gideon’s deception

Proposals

Location: Forest Grove pack (Jesse’s home)

************

Opening the door, Jesse finds both her parents standing in the doorway, side by side.

Isabel speaks first, in a soft, concerned tone. “May we come in, dear? We’d love to have a little chat.”

Jesse steps aside to let them in, feeling a little alarmed. She is close to her parents and sees them often, but they seldom visit her home unannounced. Either something is terribly wrong, or they have come here with a specific purpose. Trying to settle her nerves, Jesse makes them both some tea. They all sit down in the living room, her parents sharing a two-seater sofa while she sits uncomfortably in a chair opposite them.

Isabel doesn't waste time with small talk, getting straight to the point.

“Gideon came to talk to us earlier. He told us about your response to his proposal.”

Jesse’s stomach drops. “He told you about that?”

Isabel gives her a gentle smile. It’s the type of smile she often uses when resolving pack conflicts. Soothing, sweet, but ever so slightly condescending in nature. It’s the expression that supersedes motherly advice.

“He asked your father for his blessing yesterday. Naturally, we asked him to keep us updated on the matter.”

Jesse tries to take it all in. Gideon only just arrived yesterday. How could he have possibly asked for their blessing already?

In twenty-four hours, the man managed to romance her, announce their relationship to the pack, ingratiate himself into the family, and ask for her hand in marriage. But somehow she is the only one who feels he is moving way too fast?

Her mother continues. “I have to confess we were a little, eh…”

She pauses, looking thoughtful, appearing to look for the right turn of phrase.

“Disappointed. We were disappointed you didn't accept his proposal. It’s your decision, of course, but I wish I could understand what led you to reject him.”

Jesse raises her chin defiantly. “It wasn’t a proposal. He didn't propose. There was no ring, no kneeling down, no actual question. He just started randomly talking about our future wedding. It was insulting.”

Both her parents look a little relieved. Her dad gives her a bright smile as he leans forward.

“That was the problem? You wanted a proper proposal?”

He nods, still smiling. “Of course you wanted something special. As you should. Leave it with us, we’ll push him in the right direction. ”

Jesse hesitates. “It was part of the problem… But it's more than that.”

Falling silent for a moment, she struggles to find the right words.

She isn’t ready to confess she's lost her wolf. But without that information, how can she explain to them why she isn't feeling the famed mating connection everyone raves so much about?

She can’t.

Revealing her secret simply isn't an option. They would care, naturally, but that’s exactly the problem. They would care a little too much, and stifle her with their concerns. Knowing her dad, Jesse expects he would attempt to keep her indoors or assign her a bodyguard. He’d regard her as fragile, in need of protection. He’d drag in every doctor he could find, and sooner or later, most of the pack would find out.

If the pack were to find out, they think of her differently. She would be seen as weaker than even the smallest omega in their midst. Jesse isn’t all that certain that getting her wolf back would completely restore her status as a strong, powerful future leader. Her image would be damaged forever.

She can’t allow that to happen. No matter what.

More than anything, Jesse wants everything to stay the same. She wants to keep her independence, her status, her freedom to make her own decisions. To prove to both of her parents that she is capable of resolving this by herself. She doesn't want to act like she's still daddy’s little girl, expecting him to fix all her problems for her.

Her wolf will come back eventually, she is certain of it, all she needs is more time. If she can stall them for a while, keep everything as it is for now, all will be okay. It’s the mantra she keeps trying to tell herself. With more time, all will be okay.

Still, ‘giving it more time’ is a challenge when her boyfriend is rushing to get married as soon as possible.

Looking for an answer to tell her parents, she decides to give them a limited version of the truth. Her smile has a hint of insecurity as she looks up at them.

“I just think it's too soon. He’s still basically a stranger to me. Cassie took six months to get married and David is her true mate too — why all the rush? Can’t I get to know him first?”

Isabel takes Jesse’s hands in hers.

“Cassie got engaged after a week. Your dad and I took just four days.”

A smile breaks through as she reminisces. “I knew I wanted to spend my life with him from the first day I met him. That's how Gideon feels about you, too. He’s not a stranger, he’s your mate. You two are destined to be together, just like I was destined to be your father’s Luna. Nothing has ever made me happier. Apart from you and your brother, of course.”

Jesse wishes she could say what she really feels. The forbidden words burn in the back of her throat, forever unspoken. You and dad loved each other! He respects you, understands you! Gideon isn’t like that. Why am I the only one who sees that?

Instead of voicing her inner thoughts, she bites her tongue, searching for the closest approximation to the truth.

“Why can't we just stay the way we are now? Just mates?”

Charles nods slowly. “You could. Mateship is for life, it's a lasting bond, so not that different from marriage. But without a marking ceremony and a ring, you could never be the Luna of their pack. And he couldn't be the Alpha of yours, either. Isn’t that what you have always wanted? To be a leader?”

Jesse feels tears burning in the corner of her eye. He’s right. She's wanted to be an Alpha, or a Luna, for as long as she can remember.

“Yes. It is. But I wanted to be the Alpha of this pack. Not the leader of a group of people I have never even met.”

Her parents make eye contact. Charles gives a small nod to his wife. “Who says it can’t be both? We're not as young as we once were.”

Isabel, still holding Jesse’s hand in hers, gives it an encouraging squeeze.

“We’ve always planned for you to take over from us one day. We just didn't want you to have to do it on your own. The pack needs an Alpha and Luna both. We always respected your decision not to marry a chosen mate. We knew you wanted a true love match, a marriage like the one we had. And we were happy to rule the pack for as long as it took for you to find your perfect Alpha.

But now you have found him, your true mate. Now you can have it all. Two packs for you to rule as a couple. A happy marriage. Maybe even some children, if you'd like. All you need to do is to say yes to his proposal. So what's holding you back?”

Jesse's eyes are getting misty with tears. They're right. She could have had it all. If only she could feel that mating connection, that infamous fairytale romance everyone keeps talking about. Life would have been perfect right now. Instead, she feels backed into a corner, forced to make a decision between romance and career, leadership or love.

She sighs. It’s a weary, exhausted, deep sigh. Too many demands are made of her, stretching her thin. “I can’t tell you why, all I can tell you is that I’m just not ready.”

Her dad sits next to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

“All we want is for you to be happy, Jess. We’re only suggesting this because we think Gideon will be good for you. If we're wrong about that, please tell us. Did he do anything to upset you?”

Jesse shakes her head, again keeping her thoughts to herself. He engages in PDA too often. His stubble is too prickly. He didn’t listen to me when I told him I hate mushrooms. He is always around and won’t give me alone time. He’s overprotective and too clingy.

So many small, insignificant details. None of them a valid reason to reject a proposal from her supposed soulmate.

“No, he’s never harmed me. He’s been a bit too protective, but I know it’s just because he cares about me.”

She pauses. “I suppose the idea of being tied to him forever really scares me.”

Her dad gives her a warm smile. “Of course it’s scary. It’s a big commitment. But it doesn’t feel so daunting if you take it one step at a time. An engagement doesn’t have to mean you get married straight away. You could start by just spending some time together. Having a companion can be pretty great once you get used to it. Someone to help you out when you get stuck, someone to comfort you when you have a bad day, someone to advise you when you don’t know what to do. Does that really sound so frightful?”

Jesse can’t help but smile through her tears. Her dad always had a knack for comforting her. He knows exactly how to reassure her and take away her fears. Even after all these years, as a fully grown adult, she still looks up to her father, naturally following his lead. And she has to admit that his description of marriage doesn’t sound bad at all.

Maybe she could grow to appreciate Gideon, learn to be his friend. Even if she doesn’t fall in love with him, she could still have the companionship her father described. For years she’s yearned to be a Luna and a mother. She’s always wanted a family of her own, little kids running around the living room. Gideon could give her all that, regardless if he is her soulmate or not.

Maybe companionship, not love, could be enough.

So why does she still feel so conflicted?

She looks up at her dad and nods very slowly, carefully considering his words. “Taking it one step at a time doesn’t sound so bad.”

Her dad pulls her into a warm embrace. Jesse gives in, sinking into his arms.

A marriage with Gideon is not exactly what she imagined for her future, but it’s what her parents want for her. She doesn’t want to let them down. How can she refuse the one thing that means so much to the both of them?

************

That evening, a few hours later, Gideon knocks on the door, carrying a huge bouquet of roses. He’s wearing a tailored suit, his stubble is trimmed and his hair is well-coiffed.

While candles are lit in the living room and love songs play in the background, he goes down on one knee and takes out a gold engagement ring with a diamond in the centre. The scene is set, romance established, Jesse’s prior demand for a ‘proper’ proposal fully realized. Yet she still can’t bring herself to say yes. Her parents' words are ringing in her ears, her mate looking up at her with hopeful eyes — but something within her is still resisting.

She sends him home that night with a scowl on his face. Everything within her is at war, a constant battle between her desire to appease her parents and do right by her pack, and her heart telling her not to marry a man she lacks passionate love for.

That night, she tosses and turns, struggling to fall asleep, worrying how her second rejection will impact her pack, his pack, her family, everyone around her. The rejection feels final. It is likely to cause a rift between her and her mate that she cannot easily restore — or so she believes.

Yet as far as Gideon is concerned, nothing has changed. His mantra seems to be ‘if at first you don’t succeed’. While everyone around her observes his strange and constant courting dance with some curiosity, Gideon continues his attempts to win her over.

His second proposal is followed by a third one mere days later. This time, he asks her in the park, near a beautiful rose bush. She refuses him. The fourth time is in her bedroom, right before he tries to get her to sleep with him. She refuses, on both counts.

The fifth proposal takes place in the gazebo in the central square, in front of everyone. The structure is filled with flowers and burning candles. It is an altogether breathtaking view. Gideon is standing in the centre, dressed in a dashing suit once again. This time, he doesn’t display any arrogance. He’s not assumed victory. No, the opposite is true. He looks humbled but hopeful in a way she has never seen him before.

As her parents and friends watch on, he takes out the ring yet again.

Four times she has rejected it. First, in the dining room, she reacted strongly and immediately without any doubts. The second time, her rejection came with some uncertainty. The third time, Jesse second guessed herself, going back and forth. The fourth time, she felt exhausted, but one last seed of stubbornness still held strong. All this time, in spite of her duties, in spite of her desire to please her parents, she wanted to follow her heart. But her resistance is wearing thin, her self-doubts are taking over and making her question herself.

Seeing them all gathered together, looking on with hopeful faces, all hoping for a yes, she can’t bring herself to say no for a fifth time. The last remnant of resistance breaks inside her. Does it really matter if she loves him or not? He’s her mate, the one chosen for her, the one everyone wants her to marry. What point is there in trying to evade destiny?

She has to say yes. Even though her gut is telling her she’s making a mistake.

So, she takes a deep breath and musters up a convincing smile.

“Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”

Cheers erupt all around her. People run up to congratulate and hug her. The cheers sound hollow. The embraces barely register. Everything feels still, strange, alien almost. But as Jesse gazes down to the ring on her finger, she knows there is no way back.

Eight days ago she was single, hoping to meet the one.

Less than a week ago, she got into a new relationship.

Today, she is engaged to be married.

It feels like she is on a moving train, desperate to get off, but it’s going too fast, much too fast. She has no choice but to remain there and wait to see what the end destination will be. She has lost control of the narrative, merely moving along in a story someone else wrote for her. All around her, a cheering audience, celebrating happiness she doesn't feel.

Outwardly, she smiles, accepts congratulations. Inwardly, she desperately searches for the emergency brake.