Alpha Gideon’s deception

Stress relief

Jesse wakes up early, at around 6AM. Her nightgown is drenched in sweat. It’s clinging to her body, soggy and gross, drenched in sweat. She changes into a fresh one, but finds it difficult to go back to sleep after. There is too much on her mind. The previous day’s events are occupying her still, making it impossible to empty her mind and drift off.

Eventually, she gives up and decides to get up, but once she’s finished taking a shower, she finds it’s too early in the day to do much of anything. The pack’s shared dining hall won’t be open for breakfast until at least another hour, her work doesn’t start till nine and her family and friends are still fast asleep.

Maybe, she reflects, she can use the solitude to her advantage. After spending most of yesterday socializing, she craves some time to herself, away from the group.

She could go to the woods nearby. They are technically part of her pack’s territory, but they aren’t maintained the way their parks are. It's difficult to navigate terrain, with overgrown paths and spiky bushes, so most of her pack members avoid the area when they can. For her, that means it’s the perfect place to shift, run, and blow off some steam.

She pops on trainers, leggings and a T-shirt — her favorite running outfit — and leaves the house. Her assumptions were correct; the streets are deserted still. Most of the members of the visiting pack enjoyed several rounds of free champagne, and so did a lot of her own pack mates. Jesse suspects she’s one of a select few not nursing a hangover right now. Good. They won’t notice she’s missing until she’s well on her way back. She isn’t planning to stay out for very long. Her plan is to head to the forest, shift, burn some adrenaline, pop her clothes back on and get back in time for the shared breakfast.

She really wants to feel more connected to her wolf. Amethyst didn't respond to her at all yesterday; it's been stressing her out. The thought has been nagging away at her all day long. Now she has some time to spare, she wants to try and fix the issue. Shifting into her wolf form and going for a quick run will put her at ease; she is certain of that.

The forest she is headed to is within walking distance; it takes her around twenty minutes or so to reach the entrance.

The border of her territory technically runs through the forest, with signs marking the exact borderlines, but it’s not exactly closely guarded. Their community is on good terms with the neighboring pack, so there has never been a need to put up defenses. No guards are posted near this area, which means no unwelcome eyes witness Jesse as she strips off her clothes, getting ready to shift.

There is a little lock box near the forest entrance, a safe place to store her clothes as she gets ready to let her wolf come out. It's intended for that purpose — there are many such lock boxes throughout the territory. Feeling eager to shift, Jesse undressed rather quickly. Now fully nude, and rather chilly in the early morning breeze, she stands in front of the forest entrance, calling out to Amethyst — as she’s done many times before. But this time, something feels different. It’s the same sensation she had the day before.

Something is wrong.

“Amethyst?” She urges, “Come out and play.”

No response. The wolf’s voice, which is continuously present in the back of her head, has grown silent. Her request is ignored completely.

Normally, even when her wolf isn’t particularly responsive, Jesse can feel her presence. She can even detect Amethyst when the wolf is napping, which is marked by the soothing sounds of her snoring. But this time, it’s different.

It's like she’s not there at all.

Jesse has never felt so lonely, so lost.

“Amethyst!” She insists, louder, firmer now. “Amethyst, respond to me! Stop playing around!”

Nothing. Silence.

She strains, trying to find something, anything inside her. Then, she detects it, so faint it’s barely noticeable. Her wolf is still present, but she’s not responding. It feels deeper than sleep, more like a coma. There is no way to reach her. She’s there, silent, still, a lifeless body with its soul trapped inside, like a genie in a bottle.

With a start, Jesse recalls last night’s nightmare. The vision of her wolf, paralyzed on the ground, weak and powerless. Was it merely a dream, or could it be based in reality? Did Amethyst really get hurt? How did such a thing happen? What evil could have caused it?

For a moment, she simply stands there, frozen, as panic starts to set in. She doesn't have the faintest clue what to do. Call for help? Who could help her? A doctor? No, that's unlikely —this doesn't feel like a problem that can be fixed with a bandage.

Jesse has heard of people who have lost their wolves. It's rare, but not unheard of. In most cases, it occurs in response to trauma. For example, because severe wounds were inflicted on the wolf during battle. Some of those poor souls never got their wolf back, even after many years.

But she’s never heard of someone losing their wolf for seemingly no reason, without rhyme or reason. Wounds can be treated, so can mental trauma, but how can a doctor treat a symptom if they don’t know the cause? Where would they even start?

A chilly gust of wind blows past her naked body, giving her goosebumps. The cold shocks her out of her frozen state of confusion and Jesse realizes she’s still naked, prepared for a shift that’s not going to happen. She might as well put her clothes back on.

She stares blankly in the direction of the forest as she tugs her leggings over her legs; she’s moving slowly, trying to hold off from making a decision just yet. She knows she will have to make one soon enough.

She could go back to the pack, wake up someone, and raise an alarm. That would be the mature, responsible thing to do. Yet somehow, something inside her is resisting the decision. Once she shares the news with her family, she will lose all control of the situation, that much she feels certain of.

Her parents will panic, fuss over her, take over all responsibilities in an effort to protect her. She’ll be seen as vulnerable, more fragile than even the pack omega’s. She’ll be an Alpha, but in name only. Once she tells them, she’ll be treated like the bird with the broken wing, kept in a golden cage — they’ll tell her the cage is there for her protection, to keep predators out, but it’ll restrict her freedom nonetheless.

Or, she can choose not to tell them.

She can postpone, pretend this isn’t happening. Wait another day. Keep quiet and pretend it’s just a blip. Amethyst is just taking a long nap, she’ll come back, this will all be resolved… sooner, or later. It's a fool’s hope, not based in reality, but it's comforting, reassuring.

If she can only get herself to believe, truly believe in it, she’ll retain her freedom, retain the respect of her peers.

She tries to force herself to make a decision. Tries to persuade herself to turn back around, head to her house, wake her parents, come clean. For several minutes she debates the possibility, attempting to will herself into it. But no matter how hard she tries, she cannot bring herself to do it. Instead, she tentatively steps forward, towards the forest.

She wants to run. Running is what she came here for, so running is what she’ll do, she tells herself. She doesn't need her wolf to do so; she’s already got her trainers on, after all. Running means she doesn't have to make a decision, not yet at least. She can run away from the anxiety.

Starting slowly, then picking up a pace, step by step, she sets off on the forest path. After a while, her leggings start to feel warm, slightly sweaty, and her shirt is sticking to her chest, but her shoes are comfy and adrenaline is coursing through her body, refusing to let her stop. As long as her legs are moving and her feet are setting off against the ground, she won’t have to process how messed up this situation has become. She simply runs, without direction and without thought. The walking path becomes coarser and more overgrown the further she goes, deeper and deeper into the woods; branches sticking out ahead of her. She violently pushes them aside, jumping over tree trunks as she sees them. Even without her wolf, she’s strong and athletic, more than capable of managing the obstacles, and this time, she’s fueled by panic and anger, adrenaline powering her every move.

She doesn’t stop running until she can see the nearby lake glistering in the far distance, the early morning sunlight reflected in its water. The lake is part of the border between her pack and the nearby Crescent Pack. Even in her confused state, she knows not to come too close to that area. It would be considered an affront to the other pack to cross the border without their permission. Besides, even if she wanted to, it would be too dangerous. This lake is narrow but wide, with steep edges and pointy rocks on either side. She can cross it in her wolf form, once she has shifted, but she knows she can’t do it on her own, without Amethyst’s strength and tough hide there to protect her.

Now her running route has come to an end, she pauses and leans forward, taking a moment to regain her breath. Her legs are shaking a little, her torso is damp with sweat, her throat is slightly sore, and her mouth is dry with thirst. She scolds herself for neglecting to take a water bottle with her for this trip, a mistake she is now regretting bitterly.

That’s when she hears it. The sound of a branch breaking.

For just a moment, her blood runs cold.