Alpha Gideon’s deception

Romantic developments

Walking into the shared dining area, Jesse finds she was right to be worried. About half of the group turns to look at her — some subtle, some very obvious stares. Troy, Gideon’s beta, simply gives her a friendly smile and a small nod before tugging back into his breakfast. He seems to be quite a sympathetic person, respectful but not intrusive in his manners.

Gideon turns to smile and motion for her, pointing to the empty chair next to him. He’s seated close to Jesse’s parents and sibling, Ben. As she walks over and takes the seat, she sees he’s grabbed her plate of food and filled it for her. She can see bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms and some toast. Not her preferred option. It’s a nice gesture, but an unwanted one. Perhaps, she thinks to herself, this is a good opportunity to share some of her preferences with him.

Smiling kindly, she softly tells him: “Thank you, Gideon, this is lovely. Just so you know for the future, I really hate mushrooms. But I’ll happily take the rest.”

Jesse half expects him to feel a tad embarrassed about getting her the wrong thing, but he seems nonplussed, more focused on his own meal.

“Hmm? Sure babe, good to know.”

Did he pay attention and listen to her? She doesn’t think so, but decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s her mate, after all.

She tucks into her breakfast. The scrambled eggs are lukewarm, so is the bacon. She’s missing her usual pancakes, but overall it’s not too bad. After her run in the woods, she's feeling famished, so she finishes her plate fairly quickly, leaving only the mushrooms behind.

He watches her eat, staring at her quite intently. Jesse returns his gaze as she takes her last spoonful of egg. That’s when Gideon decides to speak.

“So, when would you like to get married? I’m thinking a month from now. Should give you plenty of time to prepare for the ceremony and the party. A month should be enough, right? I don’t want anything too lavish, just a simple garden party should be fine.”

Jesse nearly chokes on the last of her egg, spitting it out on her plate to avoid a coughing fit. Part of her wants to believe she didn’t hear him correctly.

“Who says we’re getting married?!”

Gideon grins, rolling his eyes sarcastically.

“Of course we are. We have to mark each other, don't we? Don’t you want a party? We could elope if you prefer, maybe go abroad. Whatever works for you.”

Jesse sits frozen in her chair.

“What do you mean we have to? I only met you yesterday. Don’t you think it’s a little early to get engaged?”

Gideon looks at her quizzically, acting as if she is the crazy one for questioning him.

“Why would it be too early? We are true mates, we are destined to live our lives together. What’s the point in delaying the inevitable? Everyone knows we’ll be married eventually. My pack, your pack, your parents, they’re all expecting it. So let’s start planning and get it over with.”

He leans in, kissing her deeply. “I want you to be my wife, Jesse. I would marry you today if I could.”

An omega, serving coffee and tea, stumbles and drops a coffee pot, spilling liquids all over the floor. Gideon turns around to look at the omega, giving her a strange look. Jesse stares blankly ahead of her, barely noticing the ruckus. Her heart is racing.

The problem is that he's right. Everyone is expecting them to get married. True mates always do. It would be nonsensical for her to refuse him. But — she knows she can’t say yes.

Jesse looks at her mate with fear and confusion written all over her face, stubbornness taking hold in spite of her nerves. “It’s too early.”

He gives her a soothing smile as he tries to persuade her. “It’s not. Trust me babygirl, you’re ready for this. I know you are.”

It's that annoying nickname, combined with his insistence, that gets to her. She stands up from the table abruptly, jerking her chair back as she does so.

“I said NO.” Her voice is loud and shrill with emotion. She can see her mother looking up at her in surprise.

He rolls his eyes, shrugging, still calm as a cucumber. “Fine. No need to get that upset about it.”

She sits down once again, slowly and carefully, trying to calm her breath down. She knows her outburst drew too much attention. Now is not the time to display her relationship issues to the wider group.

Gideon eyes her plate. “You gonna finish those mushrooms?”

She was right, he wasn’t listening to her. Already in a bad mood, Jesse controls her anger, not wanting to draw further attention to herself.

“No. I hate mushrooms.”

He shrugs, moving them from her plate to his. “More for me then.”

She stares at him as he finishes her food. She was hungry prior, but now her mouth has turned into ash. His proposal, if she can call it that, has suppressed all her appetite, leaving only a faint sense of nausea behind. She quickly finishes her lukewarm cup of coffee.

“I have to go.”

He looks up at her, frowning. “Go where? I told you not to head off without me again. It’s too dangerous.”

No smile for him this time. Instead, Jesse gives him a cold look. “I think I know how to get to my own house without an escort. I have work to do.”

He relaxes, clearly satisfied with her answer. “Sure, sounds good. I might come visit you after five.”

I’d rather you didn’t, Jesse thinks to herself. But she knows it’s not wise to challenge him further. She's had enough drama for one day. Staying cool and collected, she just nods and gets up from the table.

Exiting the room, she walks past her best friend's table. As Jesse moves past her, Cassie grabs her arm. Her friend gives her a worried look. “You okay? That looked like an argument.”

Jesse is dying to vent and release all her irritation, but something is holding her back. This isn’t like the venting sessions about her exes or flings. This relationship is far more serious; idle gossip could lead to dire consequences. So, she keeps her thoughts to herself and forces a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. He got me mushrooms for breakfast, that’s all.”

Cassie studies Jesse’s face, not returning the smile. She’s always been shrewd, reading Jesse like an open book. “You sure?”

“I promise.” Jesse moves on before her friend has a chance to ask her any more prying questions.

Arriving back at her home is a relief. It feels good to be away from prying eyes, even just temporarily. After this morning’s events, she’s quite glad to occupy herself with her usual routine and ignore everything else. However, when she tries to focus on her work, she finds it hard to concentrate. Even after several hours, she finds she has barely achieved anything. Every time she tries to read an email or start a task, she thinks of the bear, running after her — and when it's not the chase occupying her mind, it's Gideon’s casual proposal that runs through her head, making it impossible to concentrate.

It's too early! She isn't even certain she wants to marry him at all. Let alone do so in a month's time!

As she is mulling over the situation, she remembers his words. “We are mates, we are destined to spend our lives together. Everyone knows we’ll be married eventually.”

It's true. They'll all be looking at her to set a date and make an announcement. Maybe not next month, but in a few months, certainly. That's just what true mates do. Her friends, her family, anyone who met their true mate got engaged to them weeks or months later. They're all married by now. Mates are supposed to be for life, it only makes sense to confirm that connection with a lifelong commitment. Most don’t wait long to do so. If she waits and delays an engagement, she'll be the exception, the odd one out.

The difference is, she tells herself, that those people were madly, hopelessly in love. They all were. Mates are supposed to be in love.

But no matter how hard she tries, she still feels no attraction whatsoever to Gideon. The more time she spends with him, the more she gets to know him, the more difficult it becomes to get along with him. So far, none of her efforts are paying off.

She doesn't like admitting it, but she knows it's true: she has no feelings for him. She can barely call him a friend, let alone a lover.

Jesse knows she can't marry a man she doesn't love. But simultaneously, she can't reject her mate without any repercussions. Rejection would be an insult to him, an insult to his pack and a disappointment to her parents. Even if she's not in love with him, she respects him — and she knows how strong his feelings for her are.

What is she going to do?

If only Amethyst was here. Amethyst could guide her, show her the way. Her wolf has always anchored her and given her strength. Without her, Jesse feels lost, lonely, confused.

Maybe if Amethyst was present, she could feel the mate connection. Maybe she would feel the same way he does. Perhaps Amethyst’s absence is why all of this has been such a struggle. If only she could get her wolf back, maybe all of this could be solved.

Maybe.

She stares at her laptop for a little longer before giving up. She gets to her kitchen, making herself some coffee. Perhaps it'll help her wake up. As she watches the steaming liquid fill her cup, she decides she will take today to mull over Gideon’s proposal. It's not like she’ll get much work done anyway.

Her day passes through excruciatingly slowly. In five hours, she only manages to answer six or so emails and download a file. She needs two more coffees and a bunch of candy bars to even attempt to start on a new task, let alone finish it. And even though she is constantly distracted, by the end of the day she is still no further in making up her mind regarding Gideon's proposal.

Say no, upset everyone else, bring shame on Gideon and ruin the trading relationship with Gideon's alienated pack. After all the efforts they put in to secure a good deal, she knows that would devastate her parents.

Or say yes — settle for a marriage without passion or deep love. Never meet anyone who takes her breath away, never again.

Does she have better alternatives?

What if Gideon truly is the best the Moon Goddess has to offer her? Her exes are exes for a reason. Samuel is good-looking, of course, but she barely knows him. He could be married with kids for all she knows. Pining after the mysterious stranger in the woods is not a realistic option. So if not Gideon, then who?

Her introspection is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Gideon? She gets up from her desk unwillingly, expecting her mate.

To her surprise, it’s not him she finds at her doorstep.