The Spy's Inheritance

Chapter Seven: Revelations

It's been precisely a week since Josh and I kissed. It has been exactly a week since I heard from him too. I couldn't believe that I had been so blind to the feelings I had for him but then again it was the first time I felt so strongly about someone. 

Every night I'm haunted by the moment our lips connected and then the nightmare sets in. The nightmare where he rejects me. A part of me must have known I wasn't good enough for him and that could explain why I didn't see my feelings earlier. 

Everyday that had passed since we kissed has left me stressed because I started worrying that I wasn't a good enough kisser and that he would go off looking for a girl who had more experience with guys. Josh had in a way become my oxygen. I was addicted to him and that could become dangerous...

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It has been ten days since the kiss and my dad had called to let me know he is on his way back home. Although the silence between Josh and I was getting to me, I knew I wouldn't be able to explain it to my dad. I tremble at the thought of how awkward that'll be. 

I popped to the grocery store and bought welcome home things so that I could welcome my dad home properly. I hadn't realised how much I had truly missed him.  I grabbed item after item and then headed to the check out point where I paid quickly and then it was off to my car.

I loaded everything up and then I was off to the house...

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When I arrive I groan loudly. Josh was here and so was my dad. It looked like they were having a discussion but when I climbed out of the car the tension in the air was thick enough to cut it with a pair of scissors. My cloud had turned into a thunderstorm. 

I walked to greet my dad and his icy front was in place. He looked at me with nothing but coldness as if I had disappointed him. "Christina." He said coldly and I felt a shiver pass through my body. It didn't go unnoticed and his glare turned impossibly colder. That's when I had it. I raised my chin in defiance and looked straight into his eyes, allowing all my emotions to play in my eyes. 

"Would it hurt you to be a real father for once? I'm tired of being perfect all the time! I get straight A's and I follow your strict rules and just for once I want to live my own life, dad!" I say finally speaking my mind. What made him change in only a week? What could have been so bad. 

I was ripped from my thoughts by a sting. A sting that took me by surprise. A sting that ended up going straight to my heart. I looked at my father refusing to let my tears slip free and allowing my heart to crawl back into its walls. A movement caught my eye and I saw Josh debating whether he should come closer or stay where he is. 

"If you know your place you will stay where you are!" My father commanded him icily. Josh froze and mumbled, "Yes, sir." That's when it clicked. My bullying at school stopped a few weeks after Josh had pitched up. My father had been nicer towards me after a colleague's child had told him about the bullying. What if Josh had been the one to tell my dad? What if Josh had told my dad about the kiss? 

I didn't know how to feel. Whether I was supposed to feel rejoiced or hurt or betrayed. All I knew was that I was tired of not knowing. I turned on my heel and ran to my room like a child but at this stage that's all that made sense. My room was my safe haven at home. I turned my music on and ironically "Good Girl" by Carrie Underwood started playing. I didn't listen to the lyrics just the beat as my sore heart cried out its pain in rhythm with the song. 

It took all my courage to go down to the dining room for supper, knowing that my dad would still be in his cold state. I sucked up all the courage I had and made my way downstairs. Just as I was halfway down the stairs I heard the news. There was an attack on an embassy somewhere and that the president had been there. According to the news reporter an agent had protected the president and had suffered minor injuries. I brushed it off and walked down further carefully, my father was on the phone with someone. "No, they don't know who it is. I'll get to the bottom of this." My father said in a hushed voice. It seemed odd to hear my dad being secretive but then again that was normal but he used to go to his office if he wanted privacy. It seemed a lot like a James Bond story. 

When my dad looked up he was surprised to see me but then the surprise turned back to utter coldness and then he left me to myself as he escaped to his office. I made myself some noodles and walk back to my room. I did not want to be in the same room  as the cold hearted monster. I can't believe I fell for the whole I've changed for the good but then again I didn't expect it to come from my father. As I walked to my room the mirror in the passage made me stop dead in my tracks. Staring back at me was a girl with red puffy eyes and a still red handprint on her cheek a small cut on her lip. 

How I didn't realise that my lip was cut from the force of my dad's hand against my skin, baffled me but then again I had a lot on my mind. Like why was Josh so submissive to my dad? What the hell happened before I arrived home? And what caused the cold side in my father to come back?

Something like a revelation hit me then, I had compared my dad's strange actions to something out of James Bond. I walked to my school bag and took out the one book with all the answers, my mom's copy of Dr. No. As I reach the chapter I was looking for I discover a watermark. I had always thought it was some water my mom had accidently messed but the more I looked at it the more I realised it wasn't just a random blob of water. It had shapes almost like letters... 

It hit me then my mom had taught me about invisible ink but would she really do that to her beloved treasure? There was only one way to find out. I took the lamp shade off and used the heat of my lightbulb to see the hidden message. It took a while but it revealed numbers. What could the numbers possibly refer to? Another revelation had me checking the page numbers that's when I discovered that one word was circled on each page that's number was written in invisible ink. The single word also circled with invisible ink. I followed all the page numbers and wrote all the circled words down. 

The words being: "Search. Room. My. Secret." I unscrambled the words and got to her hidden message. "Search my secret room." I left my room and started wondering through the house. Where would my mom have made her secret room? I walked into my mom's room, well it is my parents' room but since the guy downstairs wants to be a jerk I don't have a father. I went to my mom's closet only to realise it was locked. Another skill my mom had taught me was how to pick a lock. My mom was a die hard fan of James Bond and she wanted to make sure I learnt how to be a spy in training. She taught me how to be a spy just to keep me busy during the holidays when my dad was working. 

I managed to pick the lock successfully and when I opened the doors her scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I had forgotten how she smelt even her voice was difficult to remember most of the time. I stood in the doorway with a mask of shock and pain. I flung myself into her clothes and reminisced how tightly she used to hug me and how totally loved she made me feel. My mom was my angel and like all angels she was borrowed and I was lucky enough to have had her. 

I heard the floorboards creak behind me and when I looked up it was my dad. He looked vulnerable and broken. "Get. Out." He clenched between his teeth and genuine fear had me running. I grabbed my keys and ran to my car. I got in and drove heading no where in particular just somewhere to be safe and away from my father. I end up driving to the public library and I walk in going to the non-fiction area looking for something interesting to read when I stumble across a book about spies and conspiracy theories. I read the blurb and immediately I'm intrigued by it. I take a seat and sink into the book. By the time I finished the book it was time for the librarian to lock up. I apologized for keeping her late and she just shook her saying it was nothing. I left the library but I didn't want to go home so I ended up driving around the city watching all the bright lights. A familiar song starts to play and I realise my phone is ringing. I quickly search for it and answer it without looking at caller ID. "Hello?" I ask into my phone looking for a place to park. "Chris where are you?" Josh's voice asks concerned. "I was at the library but it closed so now I'm driving around. Why?" "Wait, are you driving and on your phone?" "Yup, but I'm looking for a place to stop as we speak." "Christina Johnson you are irresponsible." "Yeah and you are an ignorer." I say back my pain evident in my voice. He remains silent and I pull into a parking lot. "There I pulled over." "Where are you?" "I think the Lincoln corner shop." "That's a few kilometers from the public library isn't it?" "Yes, why?" "Because I'm coming." "No, there's no need. You made everything perfectly clear today. I'm truly sorry about the kiss." "Chris, just wait please. I'll be there in a few minutes okay then we can chat." "Where were you days ago? When I feared the worst?" I muttered into the phone before my brain could stop my tongue. I hear him sigh on the other side and then the call ends. 

What do I do now? Do I wait for him or do I leave? Leaving him like he left me. I didn't deserve to be someone's second fiddle. I was my own person. 

Yet if I was being honest he was addictive. I couldn't stop thinking about him since the kiss and I've made lots of revelations since he's been around. Maybe he was giving me a clearer view on the world. I don't know but soon I was left with the same choice. 

Do I stay or do I leave?