The Circus Crown

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kenna

Behind closed doors, Adelaide acted very different than she did around Dakota. She seemed more comfortable. Patient. Kind of friendly, even. The things she knew were offered up to her student with no catches, and she always answered any questions she had. Ken couldn’t imagine why Adelaide didn’t like her dad, nor did she know much about their history, but it felt petty. Stupid. Still, if she could pick the brain of an ageless woman, it would benefit them both.

And anyway, Adelaide insisted on passing down some of her knowledge to Kenna. So, they began these sessions, which now happened about once a week unless Ken and Dakota were off on a mission.

Mostly, Adel just talked. About everything. Talismans—of course—history, old friends, current and past events, other wars and how they were thwarted, and, every now and then, what it felt like to live forever. They drank tea. It was good for conversation, she said. It calmed the mind. Ken sipped hers slowly and added a ton of sugar. She didn’t particularly like the weird herbal tea Adel made. It tasted bitter, and it didn’t even have any caffeine. She only drank it because it was expected of her.

Ken kept a notebook not unlike Terrell did. But, instead of collecting news tidbits, she scribbled notes from Adel’s speeches, recorded the names and descriptions of talismans, and kept a small diary. Not about her life, though, but about the escalating war. Kenna wanted to construct a timeline of events and keep track of different factions of people who may be fighting each other. If and when the war ended, she hoped to have the most complete description of how it went down. Maybe she could get a book deal or something.

Assuming there would be anyone left to publish it.

She thought it was silly to think like that, to wonder about life after a war that they barely understood. Ken couldn’t tell the future, and with the way things were going? There might not even be one!

Still, she saw no harm in writing things down, and during these conversations, it helped Adel to think that Ken was excited to hear everything she had to say. In truth, while she was interested, there were a hundred things more important than drinking bad tea and hearing her talk for hours. Kenna would zone out if the stories got too boring or irrelevant. It served Adelaide right for wasting precious time.

Luckily, the day’s conversation turned out to be pretty helpful. Ken managed to steer the storytelling to the origins of the talismans, a subject that her teacher purposefully avoided whenever possible. She explained that the stones were delivered to hand-picked subjects by traveling wanderers, who, at the time, looked strange but were simply from different parts of the world. These people gave instruction on how to use them and what they were for, and that the wielder was being trusted with something pretty damn important.

“Why did they pick you, though?” Ken asked.

Adelaide hesitated, and looked down into her teacup. A telltale sign. She was holding back. Kenna made a note of it in her book. Whatever she was about to say, it wouldn’t be the whole truth.

Shrugging, “I am not certain. I was intelligent. But not a leader, under any circumstances. And not much was asked of me. I can say that I did as I was told, which meant protecting the stone and leaving my life behind, of course.”

Of course? The wording felt strange. She made no mention of missing her family. It must have been a struggle to abandon the only life she’d known in favor of something new and difficult to understand. “Did you ever meet any of the other travelers? Did they all look the same? Or, like, from the same place?” Not all societies developed at the same time. Some, as far as she knew, were a heck of a lot more advanced than others at the so-called “dawn” of civilization.

In other words, Ken wondered if the crystals were a long-lost invention of a super-intelligent people, who took their gifts on the road to share with humanity. It was a comforting idea, that there existed a culture so selfless that they handed out magic for free.

The old woman kept her head down. “No. I have been told by others that the stones were all provided at relatively the same time, and the travelers could not be found thereafter. I have heard descriptions, but none were consistent. And it would seem they felt no need to explain themselves.”

“You didn’t ask?”

She laughed. “It was a different time, and I knew very little about the world. I could not understand why I was receiving the gift. I could only try to memorize the rules and protect the stone. I became a traveler myself, in a way. Though I certainly did not hand out talismans at will!”

No, Ken imagined she did not. Adelaide rarely shared information and resources unless it suited her purposes. She was selfish. At any time of day, her primary concern was herself and her survival. It was probably how she’d lived so long.

While Kenna still didn’t know why Adel felt the need to convey her life story in these sessions, she would never turn down a good opportunity to learn. Especially since the information was not expected to reach Dakota’s ears. But she relayed everything to him. Or, at least, anything of value. The merits of tea and becoming a con artist-s***h-voodoo priestess proved less than useful. Dakota was a better liar, anyway. He had fewer tells.

“What about other stuff? Is there any magic out there besides talismans?”

Adel raised an eyebrow and lifted her head. “Not to my knowledge. Rumors at best.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what? Magic herbs? Forest sprites? Ghosts? What?”

Adelaide signaled with one hand that Ken should calm down. She acted like she was allergic to excitement. Like it would age her if she wasn’t careful. But Ken thought such behavior was ridiculous. Sure, taking a lot of risks might be bad for her health, but actually getting happy? Or enjoying the world? Or something? Why live forever if you had to be some kind of breathing statue, more obsessed with tea and self-preservation than anything else?

She poured more of the bitter substance into Kenna’s cup. “If such things exist, I have not encountered them. I would say they are works of a youthful imagination. At most, misunderstood interpretations of talisman work and the mundane.”

But would she spill the beans if she knew of other types of magic? Or would she keep all that to herself, just like most things? Ken decided to get to the point. “I was just wondering if you had anything else up your sleeve. I think traveling all the time is getting to my dad. He’s been sick a lot. If you had herbs or something—”

Adelaide scoffed. “That man had every chance to remedy his ills. He chose to leave a powerful healing talisman in the hands of a stranger. If he wants to fight off a cold, he should have chicken soup, not magic herbs. Or a doctor. Or he can go back to France and retrieve the stone. It is none of my concern!”

Ken snorted and pushed her tea away, untouched. No reason to pretend to like the stuff. “It concerns me,” she countered. “And it should bother you, too. Where are you gonna get another hitman when he’s sick or worse?” Ken could imagine a sneeze or cough giving their position away to the enemy and putting them in danger. She not only needed and wanted Dakota to feel better, but it was also strategically important. He had to be in top shape to help both of them survive. “It would make sense to take care of the people who work for you. It’s not like he hasn’t done a good job, ‘cause he has.”

Few people could stand up to Adel and get away with it. Few, but not none. Ken knew she was an exception, and she took advantage of it when she needed to. Often, in defense of her dad.

She groaned. “He survives on luck more than skill.”

“Right now, all of us do.”

Tilting her head to one side, Adelaide reluctantly nodded. “Fair. But I have no solution for you. Genuinely. I do not know why he has taken ill so often. I suspect he does not eat and sleep well enough, or there may be some underlying cause. You would do well to remind him to care for himself if you are worried. And perhaps inquire as to why he thinks he has become so sickly. He ought to know, better than anyone.” With a sigh, “I agree, however, that it is an issue. There is a wrongness about him that I cannot identify. To quiet your restlessness, I will ponder it at length. Perhaps a remedy can be found that I have not yet considered.”

She talked like some kind of sage, even when discussing such normal things as illnesses and tea. Ken wondered how much of it was an act.

“Could it be the talismans?”

“No.”

Biting into her lip, Kenna gave it one last try. She let out a heavy breath. “What about Gage?”

The look that Adel gave was deadly serious and yet much more vulnerable than anything Ken was accustomed to. “I doubt it.”

“Why? He’s still not over his death. He hasn’t moved on. I don’t think he’s even considered it. And he doesn’t cry or anything, either. He just goes numb.” She felt awkward having to explain such a personal thing to a woman who probably didn’t care. “That’s not healthy, right? I mean, could he be so upset, like on the inside, that he’s making himself sick?”

She didn’t know the first thing about romantic relationships, nor did she really have any interest in one. There were far more important issues to deal with. But Ken understood the value of them, especially to her dad, who seemed lost and lonely when he wasn’t in one. He’d been so happy with Gage—and with Terrell, too, long ago. She thought he deserved to be happy, just as he’d earned the right to live a healthy, pain-free life. He’d done so much for her, and for other people. It was terrible that Gage died, and she knew he missed him badly. Could it really be a coincidence that he started getting sick shortly after that?

Following a long silence, “Possibly. But that is another matter that I cannot do a thing about. If you want to know about his heart, assuming anything can be found there, you should ask him. I’m not a mind reader, and to be frank, I do not wish to hear more on that subject.”

Ken got up slowly. “You still blame him for Gage dying?” She’d never outright said it, but Kenna could tell. Which was total crap. “Don’t forget that you’re the one who sent an untrained guy out into a battlefield. You’re just as responsible as he is, except that he doesn’t blame you. I guarantee it. He hates himself for what happened. But what about you? Where’s your apology for ruining what they had? Even little kids can take responsibility for their actions. You should know better.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Hmm,” was all she said before heading toward the exit. Opening the door, “Don’t blame other people for your mistakes. It doesn’t help. And no one will ever forgive you that way. You’re guilty whether you admit it or not.”