I’d always known my mother was a selfish person, but the depths of
her greed seemed to know no bounds. My desperate attempt to elicit an
explanation, to find out what we’d done wrong to make her want to leave
was met with irritation and anger. She wanted me out of her way, and out of
her life as quickly as possible, but I needed more than that.
When I asked what I was supposed to do without her, she walked out
the door telling me Mark would look after me – at least until I turned
eighteen.
Then what?
Did she really expect me to fend for myself? How did she know he
would continue to look after me? She didn’t, really. She assumed Mark
would because he’d watched over his adopted stepson, David, after his first
wife died, but those circumstances were completely different.
When Mark came home that night and wondered why I was sitting on
the porch bawling my eyes out, I had to tell him what happened.
It actually took several minutes before I could even get the words out,
but when I did, he was so hurt and angry with Mom I feared he might kick
me out just to rid himself of the constant reminder of what he’d lost.
Thankfully, he didn’t seem to resent my presence, but how long would
that last? How long until he got tired of me and forced my mother to take
me back? And if he did, what if she refused to take me again? Would I be
forced to live in foster care till I was legally declared an adult?
The thought of living with strangers terrified me beyond words.
Once the divorce papers were signed, there would be nothing to stop
him from sending me away, and when that day came, I would have to find a
way to take care of myself.
Too scared to broach the subject, I kept quiet, avoiding him whenever
possible, thanking my lucky stars he never brought it up. I assumed since he
was already supporting David, he really had no reason to keep me around.