Moon Bound

Bad Decisions

My heart leapt into my throat, shock and embarrassment cocooning me in a firm embrace.

How was it possible that he knew I was dreaming about him?

Why did I have to have that kind of dream about him?

I wanted to melt into a puddle of shame.

"The bond. We are supposed to be connected in all ways. Including our thoughts. Our feelings. Our dreams. I could only see glimpses though and it only happened once I was in the room with you. Once you are marked I will be able to see it all."

He leaned in closer and I turned my head away. My own subconscious had betrayed me. Why couldn't he have seen me dreaming about something safe and mundane- like cats or the endless nightmare that my job had been?

"Was that another thing you failed to learn?" Aiden spoke softly, as if I had somehow disappointed him with my ignorance.

"Failed? You think it's my fault that my ass-hat Alpha dictated what we did and didn't learn? Even if they had gone over that, I was sixteen when it became apparent that I couldn't shift. They gave up on me pretty fast. They put me in classes with the other "late bloomers". We didn't exactly get priority."

"Did your parents not tell you?"

I clenched my jaw, starting to feel the urge to hit him again. "No."

"Well, I can assure you, it's normal. And real. I wouldn't have been able to see the dream otherwise."

"That's…" I swallowed hard. He brushed his nose against my cheek. It must have begun healing.

"Proof?"

"An invasion of privacy."

He stopped. His grip on me tightened, "I didn't intend for it to happen. And you didn't seem too unhappy."

"It was a dream!" I jerked away but he had me locked in place. For the first time since I woke up I found myself feeling a nugget of fear.

"It was telling. You aren't admitting to yourself that you want me. You need to accept it."

I finally wriggled free and stumbled backwards.

Just when I thought this situation couldn't get any more strange, Aiden and Killian made it a point to prove me wrong.

My brain was entering defensive mode but I wasn't sure my body would be able to follow through. Sure I had been able to punch Aiden but that was only because I took him by surprise. And it was a miracle I didn't break my hand doing it.

"I don't want this. I don't want you to force this on me. Please... Just stop."

I stammered and grasped blindly behind myself, trying to find stability in the room that was starting to spin around me.

Aiden's face scrunched up. He could boss me around. Avoid my questions. Keep me trapped here forever. And I was supposed to just be okay with it. It wasn't fair.

I shrunk onto the steps leading up to the tub. I was slipping into exhaustion and hopelessness already. The last thing I wanted was to cry in front of this weird man again but the day had already worn me down and I was cracking under the pressure.

I folded in on myself as I let out a shrill wail. I missed my mom and dad and Em. I missed my modest house. I missed not being grabbed every few minutes and ordered around and dealing with my so-called mate's mood swings.

The faucet turned on. I sobbed as I listened to Aiden open and close a cupboard. He groaned. I assumed he was finishing up cleaning his nose.

I hoped it hurt.

By the time he was done I had calmed down and was sniffling into my arms. Aiden placed a hand on my knee, but thankfully left it at that.

"I've really screwed this up haven't I?"

I nodded, refusing to look at him. My bathrobe sleeves were a snotty mess and my heart was hurting.

"You are just like them." I whispered. "You are exactly what I assumed any mate would be. Controlling and demanding."

I was met with silence. After a moment his hand snuck under my chin and turned my head, forcing me to look at him. His face was twisted in sadness.

He let go of my chin to gently brush away the hair sticking to my wet cheeks, "I have so much to apologize for. All I want is to earn your trust and I am crashing and burning."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at the moisture rising in his golden ones.

"I will never be able to apologize enough for losing control around you. When I saw those small parts of your dream it felt like I was going to die if I didn't mark you and claim you as mine. I know it's not right. I know you think it's animalistic and that you feel you have no say in the matter."

Aiden's deep voice broke. I heard him take in a rattling breath, "My middle name is Charles, after my grandfather on my dad's side. I am twenty four years old. I have a younger sister; her name is Daphne. My favorite color is green. My least favorite food is fish. My mom made a lot of tuna sandwiches when I was a kid. Cooking isn't her strong suit. So there was never a shortage of sandwiches. The smell still makes me feel sick to this day." My eyes slowly opened as he spoke. The information came out fast, and I struggled to process what was happening.

He was opening up to me. It wasn't necessarily the information I wanted, and I was sure he knew that, but it was something.

"I like video games. I'm not much of a sports guy. Cars aren't my thing, but I could talk about motorcycles all day. I couldn't handle the pressure of being Alpha, of needing to find a mate, so I left. I abandoned my family. I know what it's like to miss them. I am so sorry for taking you away from yours."

A tear slipped down his cheek. I felt compelled to wipe it away, so I reached forward and did just that. My fingertips slid down to touch the stubble lining his jaw, and he shuddered beneath my hand.

I didn't entirely believe that I was his mate. But it was becoming obvious that he did. My resolve crumbled a little bit at the way he was breaking down in front of me. An Alpha would never let someone see their weaknesses.

He truly, deeply, believed that I was the one the Moon Goddess made just for him.

The realization made my chest constrict. My tongue felt thick and I struggled to swallow around the guilt that was trying to choke me. I couldn't let him think he was in a mate bond. I would be unable to reciprocate, and it would hurt him.

"Aiden.. I can't." I choked out. His beautiful features contorted in pain. He shut his eyes, his chin quivering as he nodded.

"You are going to reject me aren't you?"

I considered the idea carefully. Was I going to reject him? It would be the right thing to do if I couldn't feel the bond. If I was unable to give myself over as a mate then I needed to cut ties before it was too late.

"I haven't given you any reason to not reject me. This is not the man I am. An incomplete mate bond can make a shifter do crazy things."

I laughed dryly, "Like kidnap someone?" His mouth turned up in a small smile.

He nodded, "Yes. I swear that I did this only because I thought it was the best thing for you. Elias is very real, and very dangerous. Even if you reject me I will continue to protect you."

I leaned back to stretch out against the steps. His sincerity made butterflies swarm in my stomach. If this is who he was, not the aggressive jerk that I punched in the face, then would it really be all that bad to wait a while longer to put off rejecting him?

Although it wasn't easy to accept- there was a small part of me that was itching to learn more about Aiden and about the mate bond.

My head throbbed from the two sides of myself warring with each other- the side that in no way wanted this to happen, and the side that wanted to get to know the man that was holding me captive.

It was wrong.

It was hard to resist.

My rationale was getting muddied, and I found myself leaning towards wanting to accept him even though somewhere in the recesses of my mind my subconscious was screaming at me to stop.

I caught him staring at me so fiercely that my face lit on fire immediately. I had never blushed this much my entire life. He looked like he was on the verge of losing his mind and I was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Something in that intensity made me lose my senses for a brief second. Against my better judgment I sat up, grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed my lips onto his.