Moon Bound

Desire

After Aiden yelled outside my door that lunch was ready I threw off my bathrobe. I dug around in the dresser that wasn't broken and put on clean clothes. It was probably the fastest outfit change of my life.

I peeked out into the hallway, just like I had last week. Only this time I wasn't sneaking out. I made my way to the landing and hustled down the steep staircase.

What I walked into was a beautiful, massive living room. More of the dark wood that was upstairs. A crackling fireplace that was keeping the downstairs toasty. An L shaped couch that was the color of dark coffee and could easily fit eight people wrapped around the edge of a damask area rug. In front of the couch was a rectangular coffee table with some books, a laptop, and a mug sitting on top of it.

I looked over at the big TV screen and the bookshelves resting on either side. Busts of various animals stared down at me with glassy unblinking eyes. I shivered under their watch and tilted my head back to see a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Like the one in my room it was lights mixed in with antlers, but this one was much bigger.

Aiden liked to live in style. I snorted as the memory of him telling me that my house reminded him of his own resurfaced. He was such a liar.

There was nothing modest about this place.

I made my way through the room slowly, taking it all in. There was a thick fuzzy blanket hanging over the couch and I was so tempted to wrap up in it, lay down in front of the fireplace, and read a book.

Two sides of myself were at war with each other. On one hand I knew I probably shouldn't get too cozy here. If I gave Aiden any ideas about being comfortable it might encourage him to keep me here forever.

On the other hand I didn't think that necessarily sounded like a bad thing.

If only the mate bond would just stop being a problem. In a perfect world Aiden and I would have met like normal people. Things would develop naturally between us. I wouldn't be forced into a commitment stronger than marriage.

But to be fair, there wasn't much that was normal about shifters. Sudden, aggressive relationships were just a part of life to them.

It was still a little too animalistic for my taste. I would like to at least get to know my partner first before giving over my eternal love and devotion.

The sound of silverware clinking caught my attention. To the far right of the living room was a wall and entryway. I popped my head around the frame to see Aiden setting up our lunch at a dining room table.

My stomach tightened at the sight of him. I inched over to the table with wobbly knees. I couldn't stop replaying the things that happened upstairs over and over in my mind. His words last week. His loss of control today. It was unnerving. But I still couldn't stop staring at the way his arms flexed as he went about doing something as simple as setting out food.

I slipped into one of the chairs that had a plate in front of it. Aiden had heated up pizza and set out grapes, strawberries, and carrot sticks around the slices. My eyes watered at the effort, but I blinked the moisture away before he could see.

I had spent years meticulously building walls to protect myself. It was disarming how quickly Aiden was managing to turn me into an emotional mess brick by brick. If I wasn't careful the whole thing would come crumbling down.

Being vulnerable like that left a sour taste in my mouth. This guy wasn't even in my orbit until a week and a half ago. He just decided I was his mate and now I have to throw myself at his feet and surrender every part of my soul to him.

I wasn't sure I could trust him like that. His moods shifted too easily. He kidnapped me. And he was an Alpha. If he was anything like my Alpha, I wanted no part of that. I wasn't a trophy wife he could keep on a mantle, all polished and pretty and waiting to do his bidding.

Aiden sat next to me. I toyed with my food as an awkward silence surrounded us. He cleared his throat when I picked up and set down my pizza for the third time.

"Is everything alright? Is there something wrong with the pizza?"

I blinked at the plate, "Pepperoni is my favorite."

"Mine too." I could sense his smile. I slunk down into my seat and poked at the crust in dismay. I loved pizza. I just couldn't bring myself to eat.

The mate dilemma made me uncomfortable. The Elias dilemma made me uncertain. The two men I was trapped with made me dizzy with desire.

Minutes ago I was thrilled that he was finally talking to me again. Now I was sulking and avoiding conversation.

Maybe we were one soul cut in half after all. We both had horrible mood swings.

I had never felt even a fraction of the desire that Aiden stirred in me last week and I didn't know how to handle it. It was all so new.

But if his outburst upstairs was any indication, Aiden didn’t really know how to handle it either. We were dancing a very difficult and dangerous tango and it was only a matter of time before one of us fell.

I was scared to trust him though and I really, really did not want to have a mate.

With mates came submission, and cooking and cleaning, and yes-husband-dearest, anything-you-want-husband-dearest, and a bunch of babies.

Did Aiden want babies?

I assumed so. It was the natural course for shifters. The need to find a mate and produce pups was a strong one.

I wasn't sure I wanted babies. Morning sickness, and labor, and a tiny human that never slept sounded like a nightmare.

Aiden's hand covered mine, drawing my attention back to him. I peered up through my lashes, catching a glimpse of his furrowed brow. He looked worried.

"I don't expect babies."

"Excuse me?" I yanked my hand away, offended that he somehow got inside my head again.

"You might as well be screaming it from the top of your lungs. You are so concerned about it, it's practically strangling me. Your anxiety is my own now."

I placed an elbow on the table and rested my cheek in my palm. I turned slightly so my hair would cover my face, creating a shield between us. I didn't want to see his worried face, or talk about babies, or think about him invading my thoughts.

He reached out to touch my shoulder and sighed when I flinched at the contact.

"You're not a baby factory. It's okay if you never want them. Honestly, I would just be thrilled if I could get you to stop shutting me out."

"How am I supposed to do that? I don't know you. You are holding me here against my will. And you don't handle jealousy well. Besides, I still can't feel the bond. How do I know it's even real and you aren't just saying that as a way to keep me here until you have your way with me?"

It all came spilling out. My stomach clenched at the idea of him having his way with me. But no matter how appealing it was it still didn't change that I was struggling with fully trusting him and his motives.

"Have my way with you?" He chuckled. I shrunk away from him only for him to scoot closer and brush my hair from my face.

"I know you don't trust me. I know my behaviors have been out of line. I intend to change that. When I went to check on you last week and you were gone I…" He faltered.

Aiden's ability to swing from dominant, overpowering Alpha to kind and understanding was astonishing.

"I lost it. You were alone with Killian. And he touched you," his voice lowered and I heard him suck in a sharp breath, "I'm going insane. It hurts so f*****g bad being so close to you yet I can't touch you. I can't mark you. I'm sorry for how I reacted."

I lifted my shoulder in a shrug. I was being pouty. I had never felt so upside down and sexually frustrated.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I shouldn't have lost control like that."

A beat passed before I straightened and looked Aiden in the eye. His beautiful face was twisted in pain.

"Aiden, I wasn't scared. Well I was a little earlier. But not last week." He c****d his head at me. I looked away, pulling my lower lip in between my teeth. Shame burned my cheeks.

"I liked it."

The admission heated my entire body. I had caught on fire, burning to a crisp from embarrassment.

I didn't want a mate.

I just wanted him.