Since I was waiting on the lab results and my parent’s results, it was now time to fulfil my end of the bargain with Jeff. In other words, it was time for our date.
He showed up in a suit and tie, flowers in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other. To say he looked adorable would be an understatement. To say I wanted to rip the suit off him and f**k him right there would make the first understatement even more understated.
“Cliché much?” I chided.
He handed me the flowers and the chocolate. “I wanted to do this right.”
I nodded. I leaned in and kissed him. “You did it right, Jeff. A-plus.”
I put the flowers in a vase. I put the chocolates away, a regift for Mom, as I thoroughly enjoyed my thirty-one-inch waist and planned on keeping it forever. My gravestone would say as such: HERE
