Three weeks ago, I'd felt the bond snap into place when I turned twenty-one. Felt the pull toward him. The need to be near him.
I'd been so happy. So hopeful.
Finally, something good. Finally, someone who would be mine. Who would protect me. Love me.
But when I told him, when I tried to talk to him about the bond, he'd looked at me with disgust.
"You? My mate? No. I reject you, Sera. I reject this bond. You're nothing. You're not worthy of being anyone's mate."
The rejection had felt like dying. Like my heart was being ripped out.
The bond had shattered. Broken. Leaving me emptier than before.
And now he was here. In Lydia's bed. His arms around her. Kissing her neck.
Like I didn't exist. Like I never mattered.
I stood frozen in the doorway. Unable to move. Unable to breathe.
Lydia looked up. Saw me. Smiled.
It was a cruel smile. Satisfied. Triumphant.
"Oh good. You're here." She ran her fingers through Derrick's hair.
"We were just getting comfortable."
Derrick didn't even look at me. Just kept nuzzling Lydia like I wasn't there.
My eyes burned with tears. My chest felt like it was caving in.
"Sera!" Lydia's voice snapped. Sharp. Impatient.
"Are you deaf? I said take the plates on the table away.”
couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't look away.
Derrick. My rejected mate. The man who'd told me I wasn't worthy.
Here. In Lydia's bed. Kissing her like she was everything.
Like I was nothing.
"Sera!" Lydia snapped again.
"The plates! Are you stupid?"
The words jolted me out of my frozen state.
I blinked. Looked down. Saw the dishes on the small table near her bed. Leftover food. Empty glasses. Crumbs.
"Yes. Sorry. I'll... I'll get them."
My voice came out broken. Shaky.
I moved toward the table. Keeping my eyes down. Not looking at the bed. Not looking at them.
But I could hear everything. Lydia's soft laugh. Derrick's low voice murmuring something. The rustle of sheets.
My hands were shaking as I picked up the plates. The blisters on my palms screamed with pain but I didn't care.
Physical pain was better than this. Better than watching the man who'd rejected me love someone else.
"You missed one," Lydia said sweetly.
I looked. There was a glass on her nightstand. Right next to the bed. Right next to where they were tangled together.
"Get it," she ordered.
I walked over. My legs felt like they weren't mine. Like I was moving through water.
I reached for the glass. Tried not to look. Tried not to see.
But I saw anyway.
Derrick's hand on Lydia's waist. His lips on her shoulder. The way he looked at her.
He'd never looked at me like that. Never would.
Because I wasn't good enough. Wasn't pretty enough. Wasn't worthy.
I grabbed the glass. Turned to leave.
"Wait," Lydia said.
I stopped. Still not looking at them.
"You know why he rejected you, right?"
Her voice was casual. Light. Like we were discussing the weather.
I didn't answer. Couldn't answer.
"It's because you're pathetic," she continued.
"Weak. Wolfless. An embarrassment. What man would want someone like you?"
The tears were burning my eyes now. Threatening to fall.
Damien and I are perfect together," she went on.
"He told me he felt sick when he realized you were supposed to be his mate. Said the Moon Goddess must have made a mistake."
Each word was a knife. Cutting deeper. Bleeding me out.
"He rejected you three weeks ago so he could be with me. With someone worthy. Someone beautiful. Someone who actually matters."
I bit my lip hard. Tasted blood. Anything to keep from crying in front of her.
"You can go now," Lydia said dismissively. "And close the door behind you. We don't want to be disturbed."
I walked out. My legs moving even though I couldn't feel them.
I closed the door quietly behind me.
Then I ran.
Down the hallway. Down the stairs. Through the kitchen. Out the back door.
I ran until I reached the edge of the forest. Until I was far enough that no one could hear me.
Then I collapsed against a tree and let the tears fall.
I cried until my chest hurt. Until my throat was raw. Until there were no tears left.
He'd rejected me for her. Chosen her. Wanted her.
Of course he did. Everyone wanted Lydia. Everyone loved Lydia.
And everyone ignored me. Used me. Threw me away.
That's all I was good for.
I don't know how long I sat there. Time felt strange.
Eventually, I made myself stand up. Made myself go back.
Because if I didn't, it would be worse. Margaret would punish me. Lydia would make my life hell.
I walked back slowly. My feet heavy. My heart heavier.
When I reached the packhouse, one of the servants grabbed my arm.
"Where have you been?" she hissed. "Miss Margaret's been looking for you. She's furious."
My stomach dropped.
"Why?"
"The elders complained about their breakfast being late. She blames you."