Claire

Your Wish Is My Command

The bumps on the backroads were equal parts soothing and unnerving. They were reminiscent of my hometown, to me, and I wondered if they reminded Claire of the waves of the ocean. Still, even being rocked by the dirt paths, I was on edge; if something happened to Miguel’s van, I probably wouldn’t be able to fix it. With my face on posters across the state, I doubted I could find someone to take care of it for me. Even fueling up would be a struggle. It was pressing that I got my hair taken off. The longer I was missing, the more posters that would spring up. It wouldn’t be the best shave, but it would change my appearance. That was all I could focus on.

We had been driving for some time when I pulled into a scenic lookout. I was lucky to find very few people there, as summer was ending and most kids were preparing for school. A few elders were there, but they seemed focused on the view or their maps. The lookout connected to the highway, it seemed, but I knew of nowhere better to park. Pulling off into a random field could be a bit dangerous. Landowners were brash and abrasive sometimes. I didn’t want to risk someone finding us on their personal land and approaching us, or worse, calling the cops. I could muster a lie well enough for the average Joe, but an officer would find it under their job description to bust me for lying. Most civilians just didn’t care too much.

Pushing worry from my mind, I put the van into park and hopped into the back. Claire had lifted herself - gently this time, without disturbing the blanket - to peer our at the scenery. She smiled slightly, but her eyes seemed far away. There was something else on her mind as we looked on and I wondered how much she was missing home in that moment. I wondered, too, what she was wondering. Her mind was always so abuzz with thoughts that almost anything could be crossing it. It seemed there was a whirlwind going on inside, with ideas clashing against one another. She always knew how to express the calamity in her mind, too. I always felt the desire to ask her what was on her mind, but never had the courage to do so. I didn’t know how to word it without becoming annoying.

“I wish I could walk over there to see that dog.”

I reevaluated her face and the look on it had changed. She still seemed distant, but the longing was more painfully evident. I followed her gaze to see a small white dog prancing around at the feet of an elderly couple. They looked friendly, albeit lost, and like they had been traveling for awhile. I watched them squint at the map for awhile before moving my eyes to examine their clothes. She had on a dress with no purse in sight, while he had one a pair of jeans and a shirt. There were no indentations in the pockets of his jeans, and after watching for a few moments longer, I decided that probably didn’t have phones. While I wanted to cut my hair quickly, I knew that this couple may leave before we could complete the makeover. I pushed my hair under my hood and smiled.

“Claire, could you help me get you up to the front seat?”

For a few minutes, we awkwardly navigated around the inside of the van. We tried a few different ways before I finally hoisted her over the center console and got her positioned in the passenger seat. I quickly took her blanket and wrapped it around her waist. I perched myself on the driver’s seat to look at her from afar. Not bad, but not convincing. I grabbed a small pillow and had her rest her head on it. Then, I took another blanket and piled it on top. If I left her there too long, she would likely overheat, but I thought it would be worth the discomfort. I hoped she would too.

“What is this all about?”

“Just you wait, Claire! You’re going to get to pet that dog.”

Her eyes lit up with excitement, but she was also incredibly curious, it seemed. She began to launch questions at me, such as how and why. Some of her questions revolved around what my plan was, whereas others simply asked how she should pet the dog. I explained things as briefly as I could and hopped out of the car, reminding her to stay as still as possible.

.m “Oh, and look sick, if you could?”

She didn’t do a very good sick face. In fact, she just looked like a fish.

“Uh, hey, how about we actually don’t have you do the sick face? It’s okay.” I laughed awkwardly. Luckily, she laughed too and nodded. I closed the door and made my way towards the couple. They were still looking at the map, each arguing a different point, but their speech slowed when they noticed me approaching. Retrospectively, it must have seemed a bit frightening for them, as a hooded boy approached them in a mostly desolate lot.

Luckily, I was prepared this time. I gave them a friendly wave and smile. They waved back, although a bit hesitant, and I decided to build up some trust.

“Hey, I just noticed you guys were having some troubles. Where are you looking to go?”

I had no clue what area we were in, but I was hoping that the map would be easy to read. Judging by the age of the pages, the atlas they were using was older than me, but things weren’t changing rapidly. My eyes were also fifty years younger than theirs, and that might be the only asset they were needing. They began to explain to me that they were on their way to visit their granddaughter when they got lost and decided to turn off to get their bearings. I told them that that really sucked, but inwardly, I was thankful they had been so inconvenienced. It gave me a golden opportunity to do something for Claire.

They told me where they were headed and I searched the map for the town in question. Eventually, my eyes ran across it and I smiled. I pointed it out to them and drew a line with my finger from that town to the highway. When they asked me where we were, I felt a bit of a sweat begin again. I didn’t want to blow my shot, but I had one strand of hope. I looked across the page frantically before finding Tarry. In relation to there, I was able to pinpoint an approximate location based on how long Claire and I had been on the road. It was helpful to me, as well, to examine the map, as they were headed the same way as us. They thanked me and began to fold up their atlas. I recognized this as my chance.

“Hey, well, I hate to bother you, but, uh, my- my girlfriend is in the car, and she just loves dogs. Is there any way we could introduce her to yours?”

They looked at one another, but the woman quickly spoke up with a jolly tone.

“Sure!”

I realized, after a brief awkward pause, that they were expecting me to run over and tell Claire that she could come out.

“Oh, uhm, I’m sorry, but she’s pretty sick, and she can’t really walk so well. Could we go to her? Her wheelchair, it’s just so difficult to unfold, and she struggles getting in and out.” I was prepared to continue, but relieved to find that they were compliant. They were actually rather excited and rushed over with the dog, who I learned was named Princess, to the van. I saw Claire’s face light up when she saw us approaching.

When I opened the door, joy turned into uncontrollable excitement.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, hi, hello! Hello!”

“Claire, I’d like you to meet Princess!”

“Wow! Hi Princess!”

For the beginning of the interaction, Claire simply stared at the dog as it licked and jumped on her. I wiggled my fingers to catch her attention and joined in. As soon as my hand rested on Princess’ head, her tongue lolled out. Eventually, Claire picked up on my cue of how to pet a dog, and began to run her hand down the fluffy white fur. As she did so, the dog rolled over onto her stomach and Claire gave me a look of confusion.

“That’s what they do when they’re happy, she wants you to pet her belly!”

Claire was enraptured by the scene and didn’t dare to look away from Princess, as if looking away would make her realize it was a dream. It seemed she had a way with animals just as she did with marine life. Her eyes sparkled and she seemed to be in wonder. She spoke almost exclusively to the dog, only occasionally telling the old couple how wonderful their dog was.

“Princess… oh, you’re so sweet! I would love to own a dog, you’re so lucky to have one. She’s just so cute - oh, she’s so cute, Ben!”

I smiled and laughed. The couple beamed, too, but gave one another a look with lessened grins. I grew worried when I saw the look on the man’s face. He appeared questioning, slightly raising an eyebrow at his wife. They may not have phones, but if they had been to a gas station lately, they may have recognized my name. I knew I should be upset at Claire for saying it aloud, but in this moment, I couldn’t be. My panic remained strong, but it was not as strong as the excitement I felt for her. Even at the risk of getting caught, I knew I was doing the right thing. She deserved this.

As the experience drew to an end, Princess settled into the crook of Claire’s arm. Claire began a tirade of compliments for Princess; she spoke about the softness of her fur, the beauty in her big brown eyes, and the tongue lolling out of her mouth. Once in awhile, when Princess would look up at Claire, Claire would make a face at the dog, who responded with a lick. At first, Claire would squeal in shock, but I explained they were puppy kisses and she instead cheered in delight.

“Thank you, Princess! You’re so sweet!” She cheered after each lick.

They played for a bit longer before the gentleman spoke up.

“We’d best be going soon - but, young man, could we speak to you first?”

As nervous as I felt, I kept a straight face on and smiled at Claire.

“Just one moment, Claire, and I’ll be back!”

I walked with the couple back to their RV. The woman entered with Princess, but the man remained outside with me. He glanced back at the van, looking at Claire a few times before finally speaking.

“That girl isn’t a normal, girl, is she?”

I was sweating again. “Uhm, I don’t think I understand what you mean, sir.”

“She isn’t typical, right?”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“She acted as if she’d never seen a dog before, and she was all bundled up in those blankets in the August heat,” he replied, before carrying on. “She’s been sick, hasn’t she?”

What a brilliant idea!

“Oh, that’s what you mean!” I laughed nervously. “Yes, she’s not been out much. Princess was the first dog she’d ever met.”

“Are you two living together?”

“For the time being, we are, yeah,” I said, and it was mostly true.

“How open would you be to the idea of having a dog, son?”

“Oh, I’ve always wanted a dog,” I smiled. “I just love them, and Claire does too.”

“Just a moment, give me just one moment.”

He entered the RV and I looked over my shoulder at Claire, who still looked full of life and energy. The grin on her face hadn’t stopped since she first got to hold Princess. When she saw me looking back, she waved, and I waved back. I watched her smiling until I heard footsteps returning. Slowly, the man began to lower his leg down, before deciding to just draw it back into the vehicle.

“I’m too old to be hopping up and down,” he laughed. “Come a bit closer, could ya?”

I stepped up to be closer to him and he extended his arm to hand me a card.

“What’s this, sir?”

“That’s my granddaughter’s address. She’s got puppies and is looking for a new home for em. If you’re down by Spencer, you stop in, alright? We’ll be there for a few weeks, but either way, you just tell her that ole grandpa Lewis sent you.”

My face mirrored Claire’s, then, as a smile burst it’s way through.

“Really?”

“Really. It was a pleasure meeting you two. Take care, now.”

“Thank you sir! Thank you so much!”

We shook hands and he returned into the RV. From inside, I heard his wife’s voice call out a goodbye. I thanked them both as many times as I could before they drove off. On the way back to the car, it was nearly impossible to prevent myself from jumping with joy, but I maintained my composure with surprising ability.

“What did they want you for?” Claire asked when I returned.

I decided to keep the puppy a surprise.

“Oh, they just wanted to talk to me about how cool it was to show you your first dog!”

“How did they know that was my first dog? Are dogs not rare? Did I almost give us away? I’m so sorry if I did, Ben, I’m really sorry! I don’t want to get you in trouble!”

I quickly shook my head, waving my hands as well. I had secured the card in my back pocket before resting my hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry. It wasn’t you, and it was no problem. They weren’t suspicious of us at all! Let’s focus on why I pulled over. It’s time to shave my head!”

I uttered my last sentence with a sense on enthusiasm I never thought I would use on the subject of shaving heads, but I was determined to make Claire cheerful again. It seemed that my plan worked, as she quickly returned to her bubbly disposition and nodded. We repositioned her in the back, finding that it was easier to reach one another with all the open space. I also didn’t want to get hair everywhere in the front. In the back, I was able to lay out a towel for me to sit on.

It took me awhile of digging in my bag to find my scissors and razor. I had brought the razor for my face, hoping to prevent Claire from seeing all my messy stubble, but it now held a greater importance. We sat down and I took a deep breath in. I wasn’t much of one for physical changes. My looks didn’t matter to me, so I’d never given them much thought, but I had never envisioned going bald. My hair was somewhat comforting to me. At least Claire would be saved the pain of having to see my greasy hair. Before I could even utter the go ahead, Claire had snipped a large lock of hair from the back of my neck. If I was having second thoughts, there was no going back now.

In a few minutes, Claire had my hair dramatically reduced in length. There were some pieces that remained longer than others, but it was short now. Looking in the mirror, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I hoped others would see such stark contrast between my original self and my bald self. I asked Claire to cut it a bit shorter and it took no urging for her to begin again. Soon, I had only tiny pieces of hair sticking straight out from my head. When I turned to look at Claire, she laughed.

“You look so different!”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

For awhile, she just looked at me with a thoughtful look, but soon laughed again.

“Good thing! But you look like a soft version of those spiky animals.”

Thinking back to our early conversation about animals, I smiled.

“The porcupines?”

A look of proud recognition crossed her face. “Yep! Those!”

“Well watch out, I’ll poke ya with em!”

I moved my head towards her and shook it side to side. She laughed and pretended to be afraid, moving away and falling to the side. She drew her hand across her forehead.

“Oh, no! The porcupine is closing in!” She laughed between bouts of trying to be dramatic.

I continued to rattle my head around as I approached her. She was laughing, and as the tips of my hair began to tickle her chin, she laughed harder. Soon, her hands were on my head, ruffling the tiny bit of hair I had left.

“I’m not afraid!” She called out, turning her hand to a loose fist and rubbing it against the top of my head. It seemed that noogies were present in each of our worlds, and that made me smile even wider.

“Yeah, why’s that?” I looked up and put on a defiant face. I held as much determination in my eyes and pout in my mouth as I could, but I felt the corners begging to be released into a smile.

“‘Cause you’re too sweet!” Her lips turned up into a smile, and I released mine to do the same. She leaned in close and rubbed her nose against mine. We smiled and looked at one another for a moment, until she pulled away slightly to throw her arms around me. Again, we were laughing, and I gave her a gentle squeeze. She wasn’t so light with her squeeze, however, so I hugged her a bit tighter. I was caught up in emotions and my heart thumped like crazy.

“You’re too kind,” I whispered, chuckling alongside.

“No way! That’s you!”

“No, no, no, you’re so nice to me!”

“You left your home to take me home! That’s so kind!”

“Well, you wanna be home, and I don’t wanna be home, so it really works out, right?”

There was a lull in the conversation now as Claire moved to look at my face. She looked at me curiously, seeming to ask for explanation, but I didn’t quite know how to explain it. I just shrugged, but that only served to intrigue her more. She looked at my eyes, but then moved to looking at my hands. Then, she came back up to my eyes.

“Are they mean to you at home?”

“Depends on who they are, I guess,” I shrugged.

“The people you live with?”

“My siblings are fine. They’re typical for brothers.”

“You don’t live with your parents? I thought humans did too.”

“Oh! Oh, yes, I do live with my parents.”

She looked at me funny. I wasn’t sure what her look meant, and I had no clue how to interpret it. I saw her eyebrows draw together, and I knew she was confused or interested, but she was interested is most anything happening. I had no idea of what she was thinking. Then, her face softened and she laughed.

“Well, whatever, Ben. I’m just glad you’re here now.”

We finished up the haircut pretty quickly and just spent some time together. Though there was no particular reason to, we remained close to one another. Being bald meant that my head now felt the draft, so I secured my beanie onto my head and let it cover the tips of my ears. Claire lay her hand across my chest, head rested on my shoulder, and I never wanted to move. Her fingers moved in circles every once in awhile, though they would pause at times when her eyes closed. At some point, we fell asleep and woke back up to an afternoon sky around us.