I sat in the chair beside Marshall's bed, watching him as he drifted off into sleep, the pain meds Chad had given him finally taking effect. His breathing had become slow and steady, his face relaxed despite the tension that always seemed to settle there when he was awake. I should have been relieved that he was resting, that the pain wasn’t eating at him anymore, but instead, my chest felt tight, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts.
What the hell was I doing? Why had I said those things to him earlier? It was like I was betraying myself with every word that had come out of my mouth. Yet, some part of it had been the truth, or at least it felt like the truth in the moment. But now, sitting here in the quiet of the room, with only the sound of Marshall’s breathing, I felt like I wa
